It wasn’t my penis getting posted to Craigslist, but other than that it’s a perfect description of the designer I used to work with. Good analogy for a troublesome, high-maintenance boat as far as I can tell.
Canuck is listed in my dictionary as highly offensive, what does that mean- there’s a friggin hockey team with this name.
So a poster used a term many many people use in the same manner every day, and another thought it was funny (as did I). You are superior than everyone else who thought it was funny, because you find it offensive. Noted.
Maybe we could petition the board to have a halo placed above your user name.
So you’ve never been offended by anything that someone else thought was funny? Ever been in the vicinity of someone telling a racist joke? I’d imagine you would feel a bit offended (or I’d hope), even if you didn’t speak up. “Many many” people tell racist jokes every day and laugh their asses off, it doesn’t mean that it’s any less tasteless and offensive.
Yeah, that’s nice. Now back to talking with adults.
Colored, was once an acceptable term to be used for description it is no longer. Perhaps “retarded” should go the same way.
Or perhaps it shouldn’t. I have yet to hear another term that adequately serves in its place that isn’t just laughably euphemistic. Why not just call a spade a spade? Unless the spade’s a black man, I guess. Sorry - African American person of the self-identified male gender.
I don’t think “mentally handicapped” is laughably euphemistic. Neither is “developmentally delayed,” or even “learning disabled.” There are different terms for different disabilities. “Retarded” is a blanket term that a lot of people use to describe anyone on the autism spectrum to people with Down’s, and not so long ago, people who are dyslexic. Can you see where the parents of these children might be a little sensitive to their kid being called a retard?
My point, if this was a post by someone trolling, or obviously trying to be offensive, I could see calling them on it- as in the legendary “Why are black people so LOUD” thread- totally inane, and hundreds rightfully called them on it. A one off comment by a long time poster should not merit the same, especially when you can see it was not from someone with a history of offensive comments.
Benfit of the doubt, anyone?
Same with the pitting for someone using gyp, or piker, or I’m sure dozens of other terms that you could take offense at if you’re just trying to do so.
Even still, I would go along with the pitting if the original poster was a child who didn’t know better. Obviosuly he/she is an adult, knows what they wrote, and chose to post as is. But yes, you and anyone else as a member has a right to be offended that someone you don’t know on a message board used retarded in an UN PC manner. My mistake- let the outrage continue.
But I will ask, as its ok for blacks to use nigger, would it be ok if it could be proven the OP actaully had a retarded child?
Maybe that’s the term used in your school system but it’s not a medical diagnosis any more than “physically handicapped” is a specific diagnosis. Mental retardation is only one kind of mental “handicap.”
Incidentally, maybe this is somewhat regional, but I rarely hear the word “handicapped” anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it in any of the literature connected with my job. I see “disabled,” “delayed,” and “vulnerable,” (none of which are diagnostic. They have more to do with legal status than anything else), but “handicapped” has sort of gone the way of dodo in these parts.
I should add, what if they had used the used word “stupid” child instead. Stupid and retarded are NOT synonymous, but loosely similar. Is it becasue retarded has an actual defintion, and stupid is vague, that it would have been OK?
“A retard” Sure, no argument. “Retarded”? Well, I’m not out to tell anyone how to feel, but I think it’s a perfectly appropriate term to use IF you do not know a child’s diagnosis. As you yourself point out, “mentally handicapped”, “developmentally delayed” and “learning disabled” are three different diagnoses with totally different meanings, prognoses, treatments, etc. When I see a child in Wal-Mart who is wearing a head restraint, has a slack mouth and has trouble forming sounds and is generally being treated by his parents as a much younger child than his size indicates, I have no idea what his diagnosis is, nor is it appropriate for me to guess. Rather than give someone false information, I rather like having a term that is arguably non-medical to explain to someone why they should cut the kid some slack for making funny noises or running in the way of people with carts. “Retarded” serves quite nicely in this non-medical function.
Much like I might refer to an person of Chinese, Japanese or Thai ancestry as “Asian” if I didn’t know what country they came from, “Retarded” is a convenient label for a wide spectrum of medical conditions if I don’t know which one the person suffers from.
You are right. It is just a shortened descriptor of the disability. They will categorize the child as severe, moderate, or mild “mental handicap.” And then they also include any other issues that have been diagnosed.
All in all I just hate the term “retarded” because it hurts to hear, whether it’s accurate or not. My daughter is autistic, and I don’t appreciate it when people make assumptions. But I digress… I really need to stay out of these discussions.
Thanks for understanding Indygrrl, and believe me I know how you feel. It’s painful for so many to hear it used in the manner so many use it.
My son* got suspended from school for 3 days and I took him to the zoo day 1, the movies day 2, and told him to handle things better day 3. For what? A kid on his bus tripped, another kid said “what are you retarded” and my son called him on it well and they got into a little fight. I can only hope the next generation treats the word with more respect and retires it.
At one time it may have had a purpose but now it is over-run by offensive usage.
*The same son who out of the blue one day said “I want to be a doctor” and I asked what kind of doctor, he said “One that can cure my little sister”
Indygrrl, seriously, I apologize. No matter what feelings I have on the subject, I respect and admire parents like you 
At one time in the recent past, the terms “cretin”, “moron”, “idiot” and “imbecile” were all medically accepted, neutral terms to describe different levels of learning disability. As they became offensive to some, they were replaced with “mental retardation”, which was further divided into levels of severity: Profound, Severe, Moderate, Mild, and Borderline. Now that term is apparently suffering the same fate, so we adopt yet another set of terms to describe the same conditions. Sooner or later, all the terms you have proposed will also be rejected as too offensive. Welcome to the euphemism treadmill.
Can you blame us for wanting a halfway nice term to call our handicapped children? It’s a hard road to acceptance, and calling it by a nicer name makes us feel just a smidge better. Is that so hard to understand?
It’s funny how flippant people can be when they’ve never had to deal with this in their lives. Only someone who has no clue would think it’s funny to use the word “retarded” as a joke or even think to make a comparison like the one the OP was complaining about. Lucky them.
Is it so hard to understand that no matter what you call them, eventually someone will find it offensive, and ask you to use something else? There are no nice names that cannot be perverted into an insult. It has always been thus, and will always be. I don’t see how making that observation makes me insensitive or flippant.
It’s sad but unfortunately true that most people are more sensitive to problems they themselves have than to those which affect other people. I know racism is a terrible thing - but I don’t experience it personally the way a black person does. There are a lot of subjects - alcoholism, divorce, homelessness, rape, suicide - that people who haven’t directly experienced might occasionally treat in a flippant manner even while they agree that the subject is actually serious. But people who have direct experience of these subjects will see that flippancy as offensive.
Okay, so we stop using retard, and start using delayed. And inside of a decade, kids will be saying, “What are you, delayed?” when a friend does something dumb, or “I was on the bus and this delay sat down next to me and he was totally creepy,” and we’re right back to where we are now with “retarded.” The problem isn’t the word “retarded,” and swapping our nouns around isn’t going to fix anything, or make anyone feel better in the long run.
I guess the idea is to teach your kids that it’s not ok to use any noun describing handicapped people as a joke, and that it’s no more acceptable to call a kid on the bus a retard than it is to call him a nigger. But that would have to start with adults, and so far, I don’t see it happening. Plenty of people think it’s perfectly acceptable to use it as a joke. That’s why I mentioned that I have a thick skin. I have to because things aren’t going to change in that regard and dumbasses are still going to use terms for the handicapped as jokes.
“Mentally retarded” already is a “nice” term. " Retarded just means “slowed.” It was already intended to be euphemistic and sensitive. “Retarded” acquired its negative associations and sloppy eqivocation with “stupid” only after it was adopted as a diagnostic term for people with congential developmental disabilities. No matter WHAT you replace the current word with, the next word will acquire the same associations and then THAT word will become offensive. In 20 years it might well become insulting to call somebody “delayed.”
The terminology does not cause the prejudice and insensitivity. The terminology always gets hijacked by the prejudice and insensitivity. Changing the words doesn’t change that.
Also, I think there’s some truth in the words of Michael Scott.