The singer, not the song. If a compassionate and caring person says “retarded”, it is not barbed, it is not intended to be injurious. Most of them aren’t. I have known sensible and kindly people who are constantly policing themselves, trying to stay up to date with the most recent verbal incarnations, and its useless. I have knuckle-walking relatives, when they say “retarded” they say a whole different thing than, say, Dio would. Even if the word is precisely identical. A better person is a worthy goal, a more correct vocabulary is not (or, at least, not nearly so).
If people like you didn’t participate the rest of us would be missing out on insight that we might never get otherwise. It’s a good thing problems such as this are discussed over the safety of the internet , otherwise people who don’t have the balls to say bullshit like this in real life would never be able to let the rest of us know how they really feel. Not that I give a flying rats ass mind you, as long as they keep it to themselves .
Are you drunk?
I think it’s funny how Political Correctness has affected language.
The term ‘retarded’ has a meaning that is descriptive. It means that a person is progressing less quickly than what society has deemed as the ‘norm’.
However, as people have used it offensively, we aren’t allowed to use it even though it says everything we mean to say with it, but the emotional context that has clung to the word conjures up images other than the simple meaning that it originally meant. However, changing the words we use doesn’t change anything. Regardless of what word we choose to use, the same sneer of contempt can be applied to it. In some cases I think that the contempt is increased when you say something like “They aren’t retarded, they are ‘special’, or ‘differently abled’.”
Lord, I know I’m gonna get flamed for this, but here goes.
You’re right: most people don’t have a clue. Because that’s not the hand they were dealt. So they don’t know all the terms, and which ones are hurtful and which are not, and which ones are hurtful to this kid and his parents, and which are okay with that family but hurtful to that kid and her parents. Sometimes people seem flippant because they have this silly idea that they were actually using the correct term.
If anything, it seems like there has been progress made in the last generation. [PC Term] kids are not openly mocked anywhere near as much as they once were. People know that’s wrong, and if they do it anyway, it’s because they’re naturally jerks, and resistant to education. I know it’s a tough row to hoe, having a [PC Term] kid, but would it make you feel any better to know that people are generally not trying to make it worse for you? If someone is kind and patient and friendly with your kid, does all that go down the drain if they slip and call him “retarded”?
I’m sitting here, married to a guy who has a sister. The family is intentionally vague about what is wrong with her. She isn’t right. She’s also been coddled and cobbled far, far too much. I don’t know, after 13 years what is wrong with her. She had to go to special schools, is in job placement programs and is probably hired for the subsidy they get. Now, after 13 years, I don’t know if she is developmentally delayed, learning disabled, mentally challenged, differently abled or just has mild problems that could have been solved with sober, attentive parenting.
I say she is mildy retarded. When you meet her you know she isn’t right. When people ask why don’t I use her as a baby sitter, I am not a cold callous bitch, it’s because she’s retarded. In some way shape or form, she is incapable of the responsibility of doing many things.
I’m not disrespecting her, insulting her, heck, I’m one of the few people that will actually TALK to her about REALITY. Would I use the phrase with her? Probably not. Not because she doesn’t know it, but because her entire life, everyone has been evasive with her as well, so she isn’t even sure what is going on. All the freakin’ euphimisms in the world aren’t going to help her one little bit. It would be a relief to be able to say, “Gee, you are mildly retarded, let’s move on from there.” but no, you gotta dance around fucking everything. Make up reasons why she can’t buy her own home, live alone. Move across country to be with her mother. Take a weekend trip out of town. Go away to college.
Clarifying it for your child is fine and well and good, but like the poster above, blanket terms get used like “asian” or “ethnic” to describe shit that we are trying to describe without stepping on a million raw nerves every time.
In the past month or so, I’ve been called a terrorist bitch, a big mouth, an idiot, told I need to get a real job, told I could ruin a wet dream, that I suck, etc. For the record, the funniest one was terrorist bitch, because it was said with such love and affection. Go figure. (btw, those are all comments by drunk poker players who don’t have the sense god gave little green apples to get their ass UP from the table when they have lost more than they can afford.)
The question we should be asking is, "What do most [mentally retarded/intellectually slowed down/insert correct term here] people want to be called? (Those who aren’t so low functioning they can’t answer the question, of course.) Does anyone know one well enough to ask?
This reminds me of the time my sister was dealing with a baby who had reflux and dysphagia. She was having a rough go of it and joined a message board for parents of reflux children. One day, she was lamenting the fact that other people didn’t truly understand what reflux is–they believed that it was just a lot of spitting up. She said that trying to tell people what dealing with the condition was like was akin to trying to describe the color “gray” to a blind person. IOW, there’s just no way to make someone TRULY comprehend it.
Well. You’d think she’d offered to pee in their cornflakes. Poster after poster came down on her with both feet for her “insensitive” remark. Never mind that there was NOTHING derogatory said about blind people–merely the truthful assertion that someone who has never SEEN color can’t understand what it looks like, and that was how it was for people who’d never had kids with reflux.
She dropped off the boards shortly after that. It was the final straw, as she’d seen this type of thing before–she’d gone looking for support and instead, found people who got their panties in a wad over everything.
Now, I would no longer use the word RETARD as a pejorative (hey, I was a stupid kid once–sue me). I made my kids stop using it when I heard them. But it’s getting more and more difficult to even vaguely refer to ANY condition at all without offending SOMEONE. Indy, I’m truly sorry things are so hard–I don’t know if I could handle it myself. I don’t think I’m very strong. I’d never want to hurt you or your family with anything I said. But I have to admit that I don’t know what would be hurtful anymore–something may not offend person A, but may deeply offend person B and then I’m labelled a bigot. It’s a minefield out there, no doubt about it.
No, just done listening to self rightous bullshit. Don’t like it? Well , were in the pit. Make your move. Nothing between me and you but internet and opportunity.
Come to think of it , you must think I have on my inetrnet balls. I assure you I don’t. I think if you could see me you would understand why. I’m big, ugly and used to getting eyeballed for it. So be sure my balls are halfway to the ground. If you asked me if I was drunk in real life I’d be standing next to you so fast you’d get the vapors.
To what purpose? Physical intimidation? How… special of you.
Apparently, his physical presence entails some atmospheric change that might cause you to lose consciousness. Had a dog like that once.
I get it. Omegaman is Cthulhu.
Had you asked, I would have told you to stop feeding it beanie weenies.
I am deeply offended by the use of the word “colored” and when I see it I always alert the NAACP.
In my youth, in Texas, the term “colored” was not only acceptable, it was used as a respectful description, a more or less “formal” designation. a term a speaker would use when referring to race but to emphasize a concious decision not to denigrate. It use would sometimes offend “white” people, of the type who held racist views not only acceptable, but as a standard to be maintained.
You are right.
When I was working at Six Flags as a teenage, I got the nickname “The Specialist”. Why? Because I was so extremely uncool that my coworkers that I was “special”.
Come on Frank ! I only use it as a last resort. Do you let people say smart ass shit to you? That’s your choice as a man. There’s not enough justice in this world. Within my earshot it’s my call . You ever heard of a guy named Jesus ? I’m sure you have . Although I haven’t mastered his ability to turn the other cheek it’s a battle I wage every day . I don’t always win , but like the rattlesnake I always make my presence known. Men make the choice of going around it or crushing it underfoot. Unlike the snake I usually choose peace . But not always , but that’s between me and my pal Jesus . I apoligize to **you ** if you think I’m being a jerk. Iv’e seen your work here and respect what you do. as I’m sure you know respect is earned .Fear is the provenc of man and men. Can you dig it ?
Seriously… are you drunk?
Do you remember that poster who used to declare that he’d challenge any of us internet tough guys to a duel (as in, with pistols and swords and whatnot) to defend his besmirched internet honor? Ah, good times.
I mention this for no particular reason. No particular reason at all…