Southern:
The poster who called himself Sili
Would limerick in a way willy-nilly
He could rhyme more or less
But he had to confess
To a style which was rather Hillbilly
Have a great weekend!
Sili
You ask me what is my intention
I lie and am sure not to mention
It matters not who
Your girlfriend or you
Can relieve my erective tension
Oxymorons are cute plays on words,
The humor of computer nerds;
When searching your mind,
for careers of some kind,
“Breeding Rabbits” is sure for the birds.
The amature’s limerick is lame,
the rhymes he continues to maim,
It’s really not rough,
And surely not tough,
The words have to just sound the same.
SouthernStyle
TennHippie, it is most unfair,
Your emotions with us you don’t share.
I tried for a groan,
A slight wince or a moan!
I got nada - oh well, c’est la guerre!
And, of course, the obvious one…
There once was an author named Adams
Who fought ignorance in all sirs and madams.
His books, The Straight Dope,
Were the source of much hope,
And as for the answers, he had 'ems.
Sorry…had to do this one; with apologies to the REAL matt…
There once was a sockpuppet named matt_mcl
Who claimed to know where it was at_mcl.
'Till the mods, in a snit
Hauled him off to the Pit
And told him “Go sh*t in your hat_mcl.”
A limerick subtle and wry,
is rewarded with praise of on high;
Your failure it’s said,
means this thread is gone, dead,
Oh please, oh please, won’t you try?
SouthernStyle
More Poetic Math. Try and figure out the limrick for the follwing:
1,264,853,971.2758463
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
One Billion, two hundred and sixy
four million, eight hundred and fifty
Three thousand nin hundred and seventy one
point two seven five eight four six three
(From Martin Gardner’s “The Unexpected Hanging”)
With the originals here I’m impressed
(Though I won’t say which one is the best)
For those of you prudish
Who find doggerel rudish:
Remember, Life’s only a test.
My post-its are colored canary
tinkerbell’s my favorite fairy
if you wanna know why
my lim’ricks ain’t spry
I misplaced my rhyming dictionary
I’ll not win this contest (a hunch)
my lim’ricks doth sucketh a bunch.
I’ll walk out the door
and ponder some more
and return around one, after lunch.
-dook
I have to apologize in advance for the following, but it’s Monday morning, and these types of moods tend to hit around Monday Morning…
With the weekend came eternal hope
That around the house papa could mope
But the kid and the wife
Have their own plan for life
So poor papa got spanked, ‘flanked’ and roped.
Spontanious limmerick contests are a curse
cause some thought makes better than worse
this is my first in years
to lose is my deepest fear
but without practice I’ll go from bad to verse.
(Argh… will try again)
Actually it’s:
There once was a man from Madras
Whose balls were made our of brass
In stormy weather
They’d clatter together
And lightning shot out of his ass
Only those of you who’ve visited erotic chatrooms will fully appreciate this one:
There once was a fellow named Rick
Who was chatting it up with some chick.
When he typed “Now let’s play,”
He read “What? Are you gay?”
Ooops…he’d pc’d the wrong nick.
That islander* must be a mule
to have such an enormous tool.
he flashes the fellas
and makes em all jealous
while causing the ladies to drool.
-dook
(That islander is quite obviously ‘The Man From Nantucket’)
…but has always been a favorite of mine:
There once was a man from Tripoli
Who liked to make love rather nippily.
Complained one young lass:
(While rubbing her ass)
“Less teethily, please, and more lippily!”
But here’s an on-the-spot groaner I’ll leave y’all with:
From the hills of East Tennessee
'Twas a hippie who once yearned to be
A true Master Poet,
Though you never would know it
By the absurdly poor writing by he.
This weekend for me wasn’t pretty
My road trip was extremely shitty.
I don’t think I’ll pout;
Instead I’ll go out,
And grab me some big stripper titty.
-dook
As the millions are here to attest
We’ve been given a day just for rest
But since man is just made
to relax in the shade
Maybe one day of work would be best!
In the style of Shakesperian scribe
All the verse can be pointed and wry
But instead we decide
To take the lighter side
So we limerick, we do not McBride
Again, those who’ve not visited erotic chatrooms will not fully appreciate this one:
With intentions that were purely benign,
TNhip flirted with a lesbian (so fine!)
But she said “Take a hike,
'cuz you ain’t no dyke!”
He replied “But I’ve played one online.”