You say we have one day to rest
That statement I have to protest
I work five a week,
In chains (so to speak).
With weekends we all have been blest.
I do know some work six a week.
I guess that means you’re up shit creek?
My sympathies here,
For Saturday’s dear.
For most dopers I think I speak.
-dook
There are some who toward greatness would stride
There are those just along for the ride
But some others just choose
To critique the poor use
Of the language, it’s just an aside
When referring to only one day
It was in the Old Testament Way -
HE produced all of this
Then took a break on Day Six
Hence the Sabbath, and now if I may…
(only for the dooker)
As the millions are here to attest
We’ve been given just two days for rest
But since man is just made
to relax in the shade
Maybe two days of work would be best!
As weekends go mine was bad,
with part of it extremely sad;
The saw teeth you see,
took a bite out of me,
30 stitches – that’s more than a tad.
My hand held together with string,
And pain that continues to sting,
One careless act,
rates “Just stupid” in fact,
This bird is now a “single wing”.
sigh…
SouthernStyle
**
tradesilicon:
**
Some think I’m a critical fool
And in judgement I seem to be cruel.
That’s just not the truth.
Twould have been uncouth
Of me to treat others uncool.
I knew that you spoke of creation,
And not of some people’s frustration
Of having to toil
So much as to spoil
That wonderful weekend sensation.
If you think that I meant any harm,
Relax, there’s no cause for alarm.
It just felt sublime
To reply to your rhyme
With a verse of my own, and some charm.
If I need to correct someone’s rhymes,
There are plenty of obvious crimes.
Some of them teeter
On the edge of good meter,
Three syllables too much, many times!
-dook
SouthernStyle:
A mishap, unfortunate you!
But don’t let it get you too blue.
Has it hampered your jacking
As well as your clacking
On keyboards, with one hand too few?
(sorry, couldn’t resist
-dook
Brilliant, indeed, those who write
These lines on this very fun site.
But it induces my vex
For the sheer lack of sex
In these rhymes that are made to delight.
This lim’rick shall not be a-winning,
But I hope it does cause some grinning.
It’s purpose is only
'Cause I’m bored and lonely
Wanting this thread on top (the beginning).
There was an unfortunate fellow
Who drank liquor to feel nice & mellow.
He got many a date
But they never stayed late:
His liver was hard, but his penis was Jello.
My wife, well she is with child,
Our weekend, it was not wild.
With no kids in the house
It was quiet as a mouse,
and all we did turned out to be mild.
We went sight seeing out of the city,
with no kids, we were singing a dity.
We had a good lunch
Hugged and kissed a bunch
But we didn’t have sex, what a pity!
Pretty good dook, How about:
An extremely hazardous day,
has resulted in what I now say;
Once fast as heck,
I now hunt and peck,
And my pecker’s my finger – oye ve!
The wood has now been sawed and sanded,
The saw upon me has landed,
So I passed yesterday,
playing chess all the day,
And I beat my opponent left-handed!
Your limerick I take in jest,
no “cheap shot” determined by test;
At danger I laugh,
Whoops! What a gaffe!
Your limerick’s better, mine’s best.
We seem to have a nice trend going.
Dook:
(of course I took no offence, I love the tone of you poem!
When rhymining a rhyme on the boards
We must always be most careful towards
How accurate the facts
That one’s poem axacts
'Cause Cecil’s fighting the ignorant hoards
Southern:
What happened to you was a shame
But I’m sure it won’t hinder your game
Just keep pecking a way
Two to Three times a day
If you tire of this board, try a dame
To play with the dame was the gist,
Of the things that I had on my list;
There was clearly no glee,
When she said to me,
“I’m sorry, I play only whist”.
I sobbed as I sent her away,
For I wanted only to play;
I fell far from grace,
When she slapped my face,
Then bid me adieu and good day.
SouthernStyle
Sorry Dook:
“There once a man from Alsace,
whos’ balls were fashioned of brass.
When he knocked them together,
they played ‘Stormy Weahter’,
and lightning shot out of his ass!”
That’s what you think. Observe.
I once met a man came from Limerick;
He suffered from what’s called a “dim prick.”
“That sounds pretty scary;
What is it?” you query.
Well it’s quite often known as a “limp dick.”
Not making any inferences to the abilities (or lack thereof)of Irishmen, mind you. When you gotta rhyme, you gotta rhyme.
Hipster, you were concerned with the lack of sexual topics in this thread, well, fear not!
In the Interest of Science and Fact
Cecil studied who came and who lacked
Some some climaxed, indeed
Without contact or need
Of an actual person, or act!
The SDMB once renowned
For the best fact-finder around
Has added a service
That makes some posters nervous
As the best sextalk site ever found!
Fair maiden offered her all,
to give at my beck and call;
I figured her ass,
would be worth the pass,
But her ass she’d hauled to the mall;
She returned from the store in a dash,
and batted her long sexy lash;
She said with a grin,
“I’ll let you slip in,
If you’ll give me all of your cash”.
SouthernStyle
First and foremost, I must give credit to Dragwyr,
not for particularly great limericks, but for the simple fact that he is the first person ever I’ve seen anywhere online who quoted the esteemed Rev. Billy C. Wirtz.
This thread is now 2 pages long;
It’s great (please don’t get me wrong),
But rather than scrolling
(Though I’ve done no polling),
Let’s start a new one, eh, throng?
I suggest LIMERICKS as the subject.
I really don’t see what’s the fuss,
this thread’s as long as a bus;
The dopers all chatter,
saying size doesn’t matter,
“What’s a few inches 'tween us”?
The hippie has posted a fit,
“too long”, he says is out wit;
You want a new thread,
there’s nothing to dread,
to quote the old ad, then “just do it”.
SouthernStyle
How ashamed I am that two different people have two different corrections an apparently well ‘known’ limerick that I posted.
Damn.
Try typing one handed.
Obviously, the line should say, “our wit”.
In trying to type out “our wit”,
the author transmitted “out wit”;
No one complained,
Yes, all have abstained
from having a verbal “shit fit”.
SouthernStyle