Your second link is from 2012, so I really can’t speak to that since it’s before my time as a mod.
The first was was in a thread dedicated to discussing homophobic insults, so anyone wandering into that thread knew it was about slurs and the like. It was being used in a conversation about insults and slurs. Nigger is one of those particularly unique slurs, in my opinion, that it’s use (rather than it’s prohibition) has to be justified. You could have made your point in a variety of different ways, including censoring the word, without losing anything. I’m sorry you felt “finger-wagged” at, but I considered to cross the line, especially given the context of the thread.
On the other hand, I found absolutely nothing wrong about your other post in that thread, since exploring why April may want to cut off contact with her father is completely in bounds for the discussion of the hypothetical.
The issue raised by the OP appears to have been settled to the satisfaction of all. We’re now starting to drift off into peripheral matters, so I’m closing this thread. If you want to continue discussing a related topic, please start a new thread so that the debate may be properly focused. Thanks.