And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression
Said, if you’re gonna play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it right
The Gambler – Kenny Rogers
It makes me smile because Mr Rogers had no idea how a little company called Nintendo was going to alter the meaning of that last line.
“18,000 Lira” by Art Brut might be my favorite funny song ever.
“Enrique’s got a head cold again
It’s not his fault
He’s a brave and valiant leader
He couldn’t even get bus passes this time
Just scooters, very fast scooters”
“I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.” - Joe Walsh, Life’s Been Good
“She’s gonna kill me, and I don’t mean softly.” - Old 97’s, Timebomb
“Someone to not watch The View with…” - Sloan, Someone I Can Be True With
More Roger Miller:
I see you going down the street in your big Cadillac
You got girls in the front, you got girls in the back
Yeah, and way in the back you got money in a sack
Both hands on the wheel and your shoulders rared back
Speaking of Eminem…
“Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records”
Well I do - so fuck him and fuck you too.
The Front Lawn (Old kiwi band - excellent) Man and a Woman.
Don’t wake them up, leave them sleeping,
Don’t wake them up, don’t let them know we’ve seen them,
'Cause that’s Sarah there - that’s Eugene’s wife, but - that’s not Eugene.
And the Proclaimers Oh Jean (in a broad scot’s accent)
I’d never been lucky with girls I confess,
Don’t know who to blame for my lack of success
Cause even with ones like the back of a bus
There was always the risk of a slap in the puss.
Jean, oh Jean, you let me get lucky with you.
Two more:
World’s Most Handsome Man by Robbie Williams:
You know who I am
I’m still the boy next door
That’s if you’re Lord Litchfield and Roger Moore
Have I I’ve gone up in the world
Or is the world gone down on me
I’m the one who put the ‘Brit’ in celebrity.
And my favorite, that I couldn’t remember yesterday:
On My Boat by Lyle Lovett:
The mystery masked man was smart
He got himself a Tonto
‘Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
But then ol’ Tonto wised up
And he said, “Kemo Sabe,
You can kiss my ass, I bought a boat
I’m sailing out to sea.”
From the Barenaked Ladies The Old Apartment:
“How is the neighbour downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun”
The old Beach Boys song Drive In:
“If you say you watch the movie you’re a couple of liars, and remember only you can prevent forest fires.”
And Jimmy Soul:
“If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you.”
Also, this line from The Zombies Ate My Neighbors always makes me smile, maybe because it makes me think of Codename: Kids Next Door:
So call the neighbor kids with trash can lids and buckets on their heads, cause I’m telling you we’re going to need a little help tonight…
Tom Waits “The Piano Has Been Drinking”.
The entire song cracks me up, but I like this line in particular:
“And you cannot find your waitress
With a geiger counter
And she hates you, and your friends and you
Just can’t get served without her.”
Heh. Why not round it out with one more?
Now my record’s number eleven on the BBC
Number seven on the NME
Now the Melody Maker wants to interview me
And ask about my politics and theories on religion
I like the last two lines to Jim Stafford’s “Wildwood Weed”
And they drove away, and we just smiled and waved…
Sittin’ there on that sack of seeds.
From the Billy Joel song “Christie Lee:”
She didn’t need another lover
all she wanted was the sax
and
She didn’t need him as a man
All she wanted was his horn
Everything in Muxy Fruvous’s King of Spain makes me giggle like a lunatic. It’s not a good song to play on the bus in the mornings.
Flaming Lips, “Lightning Strikes the Postman” from “Clouds Taste Metallic.”
The entire song to me is just a setup for the final line which cracks me up every time I hear it. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone, so listen to it here from one of their live performances. It’s a little bit hard to make out the lyrics, but the song is about a postman who’s delivering a letter and is struck by lightning. The final line is: And it’s hard to read the writing through the flames.
Short People, by Randy Newman. I’m short, and I especially love this part:
They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick em up
Just to say hello
Read about Love by Richard Thompson
*He gave me a book
The cover was plain
Written by a doctor with a German name
Had lots of pictures, serious stuff
I read it seven times and I knew it well enough.
*
Lots of good lines in Dylan’s Talking World War III Blues
*
I got into the driver’s seat
and I rode down 42nd Street
In my Cadillac.
Good car to drive
After a war.
*
“Giselle,” by Stew
“She wears leather… whatever… the weather.”
Even his unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa?
I might as well go back over yonder
way back over yonder 'cross the hill,
'Cause if my baby don’t love me no more,
I know her sister will!
The drums at the end remind me of a rim shot, ba-cha!
2. Donald Fagen’s *The Nightfly:
So you say there’s a race of men in the trees?
You’re for tough legislation
Thanks for calling
I wait all night for calls like these*
Reminds me of some of the best threads here.