Funniest single line in a song?

There’s already been a ‘funniest song’ thread, but I was looking for something slightly different–musical versions of the classic one-liner.

We all know of great one-liners from TV, such as “My cat’s breath smells of cat food” (Simpsons) but it doesn’t seem to be as common a thing in song.

Any nominations?

Not counting intentionally funny or humerous songs (such as you would typically hear on Dr. Demento) my favorite “one-liners” or single lines in songs that otherwise are not really funny are:

From “Has Anybody Seen My Gal?”

That always cracks me up. YMMV.

From “The Shoop Shoop Song” or “It’s In His Kiss” or whatever the real title is:

If you wanna know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss (that’s where it is).

Probably not what you had in mind, but my demented mind finds these buried treasures of comedy endlessly amusing.

One last one; not really a funny line in and of itself, but it’s such a non-sequiter that it also cracks me up every time:

From “Happy Together”

After the song is mostly done, they repeat “Happy Together” and “So happy Together” several times in the chorus, and then add in

I guess because they had nothing else to rhyme.

Ariel by Dean Friedman (1977).

Always loved those lines. Friedman is a wonderful lyricist.

Oh and richardb, the first song you quoted is titled Five Foot Two, Eyes Of Blue.

I like Barenaked Ladies’ song “Pinch Me.”

"I could hide out under there.
I just made you say ‘under where’ "

I like Barenaked Ladies’ song “Pinch Me.”

"I could hide out under there.
I just made you say ‘under where’ "

They call me Mr. Know-it-all,
I am so eloquent.
Perfection is my middle name,
and whatever rhymes with “eloquent.”


“Great Googly Moogly!”

Frank Zappa

from Neil Diamond’s “Play Me”

…songs she sang to me
songs she brang to me…

gets me every time…

From: My Friend
By: Jimi Hendrix

How he came up with this sort of stuff and still remained sane is beyond me.

Since my phone still ain’t ringing, I assume it still ain’t you.

from Neil Diamond’s “Play Me”

…songs she sang to me
songs she brang to me…

gets me every time…

“She set your goldfish free
And now she’s sighing
Blew out your pilot light
And made a wish…”

They Might Be Giants - “Twisting”

Aerials, by System of a Down. The entire song is loud nonsense, but a few verses stick out to me:

Did these assforks think this was irony? 'Cuz it’s not…

Is pretty wretched, too. The angsty music makes this fauxetry very funny.

Seeing as how I ignored the “single line” bit in that last post, I’ll add another. It’s from I Drink Alone by George Thorogood:

“When I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.”

Too Much Fun - Commander Cody

Stole are car, drove to Kalamazoo, I met a gal, she was ugly too.

Rock that Boogie - Commander Cody

Big fat lady drinking up my beer, clapping her hands, shouting in my ear, boogie!!!

Down to Seeds and Stems Blues - Commander Cody

Well my dog died just yesterday and left me all alone,
the finance company dropped by today and repossessed my home.
But that’s just a drop in the bucket compared to losing you,
and I’m down to seeds and stems again too.

Mr. Siegal - Tom Waits

well willard’s knocked out on a bottle of heat,
drivin’ dangerous curves across the dirty sheets,
he said man you ought to see her,
when her parents are gone,
man you ought to hear her when the siren’s on.

you got to tell me brave captain,
why are the wicked so strong,
how do the angels get to sleep,
when the devil leaves the porchlight on.

Another Barenaked Ladies line, from “One Week”:

…I’ve got a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve,
I’ve got a habit of losing my shirt…

Tiny Montgomery - Bob Dylan

Three legged man and a hot lipped ho, tell 'em all Montgomery says hello.