Lines in video games you would alter just a bit..

In the Tiger Woods games the announcer says…

When you hit a long drive.

“I wish I could hit it half that far…and fit into those pants”

Now…When Natalie Gulbis hits a long drive, I’d like to hear…

“I wish I could hit it half that far…and get into those pants”

:slight_smile:

You have any?

“Holy Crap, he just knocked the ball into the woods” when someone shoots for one hole and land it lands in a completely different place like GQ instead. :wink:

I’m sorry.

Could you move this to the cafe where it belongs?

My apologies.

Done.

“All your base are belong to we.”

All you base are belong to ME

I’m not sure those poor Japanese translators need any more help mangling their English ;).

Years ago there was a game called “Chuck Yeager’s Advanced Flight Training” or something like that for the PC. After you crashed, there’s be a picture of Chuck in his flight suit saying something sarcastic (via word balloon, not actual audio) over the smoking crater of your plane. I found that you could hack the executable with a hex editor to change the text of his comments. Juvenile shmuck that I was (OK, not much has changed…) I had him saying stuff like “I guess your wife is single now!” and “Surely your soul is roasting in Hell now, sinner!”

“Our princess is in another castle, asshole!”

I can’t think a single way to improve the scare-the-poo-out-of-you of “Beware, I live!”

Instead of taunting you with “Some galactic defender you are… ha-ha-ha!” the classic arcade game Gorf should have gone with something more uplifting, like “That was a good try! Better luck next time! I hope you try again real soon. Don’t get down on yourself – you can’t win 'em all. As long as you tried real hard, you’re a winner in my book!”

That would probably be “Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.”. Chuck actually did say that, and it was actually immediately after a good landing.

Every video game death should be accompanied by “YOUR HEAD A SPLODE”.

Apparently, in one of the Wing Commander games, one of the characters says “God, I just love that boy’s spunk!”

I can’t imagine that I am the only person who has heard Minsc shout at the top of his lungs, “Butt fucking for goodness!”

That very well could have been one of the several responses computer-Chuck made, but it’s too long ago for me to remember for sure. I do kind of remember some mention of “Hill’s disease”, which IIRC is the “disease” of impacting into hills and mountains…

In the english version of the game “Zero Wing” I would change

“ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US”

to:

“OUR FORCES HAVE TAKEN OVER ALL YOUR MILITARY FACILITIES AND YOU ARE NOW AT A TACTICAL DISADVANTAGE”

:smiley:

That’s exactly what I thought of as a video game that needs no correction.

The other great line is “Run Coward”