This was your father’s lightsabre - an elegant weapon from a more civilised - JESUS FUCK, CAREFUL WHERE YOU SWING IT YOU STUPID LITTLE - vzzztt! - kathunk!
Jaws
No, you don’t understand. This is one REALLY BIG FREAKIN’ SHARK. We’re not just going to need a bigger boat, but bigger weapons!"
Airplane
Roger, airline rules require we eat separate meals. Do you want the chicken or the fish?
The Hunt for Red October
The entire Soviet Union is going down the crapper. I’ll bet in 6 months we can just walk into West Germany and defect.
The Godfather (part I)
Great news, pop. The army has promoted me to Colonel and assigned me to the Pentagon!
The Godfather (part 2)
Hey. The rug obviously belongs to someone else. This is stealing.
The Godfather (part 3)
I’ve already made two of the best movies of the 20th century. Who needs this crap.
The obvious one:
*“Say Captain, isn’t that an iceberg straight ahead? Good thing we have time to change course.”
*
Republic credits will be fine; I give you best exchange rate in town! You want girl? Nice girl, pretty girl, clean pussy. I get you girl. Young girl, tight body. You need pills, smoke, powder? I get you. You need jewels? My brother has store: you buy here cheap, sell at home. Best quality jewels, special opening today. Best price for you! You want tour? Cab tour, special price, very cheap.
{Based on my travels in South-East Asia, I’m pretty sure that’s how that conversation would have gone down}
“Hey, Fergus, before you execute me, let me show you a snapshot of my lover back in London. That’s a guy, by the way…”
Yeah, but you don’t see the freakin’ sled until well after he says “Rosebud”, since, y’know, it’s the first freakin’ line in the whole freakin’ movie!
Casablanca: Louie, this asshole just tried to hide Letters of Transit in Sam’s piano!
Ivanhoe: Certain Norman Knights!
Zulu: A few guys with Martini-Infields can kill a whole bunch of guys with spears and clubs if they have enough ammo.
But the point of the freakin’ movie is that it doesn’t matter what Rosebud is, which is why people who shout ROSEBUD IS SLED like Peter Griffin every time Citizen Kane gets mentioned are morons. I doubt most of them have even seen the movie. It’s not a “spoiler” in the sense that the movie is a not a freakin’ “guess what Rosebud is” mystery. Knowing that Rosebud is tells you nothing about Charles Foster Kane.
Sure it does. He would have been happy growing up as a poor person, but was miserable as a rich one.
He longed for the happiness of his youth.
Blazing Saddles: “Wait a second … he can’t take himself hostage! Go ahead and shoot!”
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: “Won’t language be a problem in Bolivia? We should go to Australia instead.”
Leon: The Professional: “Hey, isn’t that his daughter that just walked by?”
The Princess Bride: “Telegram for Miss Buttercup. I’m not really dead. Stop. I’m pretending to be a pirate. Stop. Will explain everything when I come back. Stop. Love Westley.”
Pulp Fiction: “No, he just wasn’t wearing his glasses. He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn without them.”
The Sixth Sense: “I’ve been shot! I’m gonna die!”
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: “Keep in mind, Doctor, that I won’t really be dead.”
You’re free to interpret it however you want, but I’m afraid if that’s what you got out of it, you missed the entire point of the movie. And FTR I don’t blame you; that’s what I got out of it the first time I watched it, but on subsequent viewings I realized I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“Frodo, you’re the only one who can…nevermind. I’ll just put it in a box and have one of my Deus Ex Eagle Friends deliver it to Mount Doom.”
-Joe
Army of Darkness
Hm, you’re right, old man. I won’t remember that. Do you have a pen?
“Keptin, it seems that Ceti Alpha V is missing. There was a group of guys we dropped off there maybe 20 years ago, so maybe we should look around to see what happened to them? What guys? Oh, you vill love this story, Keptin!”
“Hi, Godot!”
(not original with me, needless to say)
“Iceberg, huh? Let’s cut a bit south, wot?”
I’ve only seen it twice, but if carnivorousplant is so dramatically and objectively wrong, what is the point of the movie? The guy spends his life doing all he can think of to make sense of the money he’s had dumped on top of him, and what he remembers when he dies is the trouble-free games of his childhood.
If the fact that Rosebud is his sled doesn’t tell us anything, why the last shot of the movie?
The last shot of the movie serves to underscore the fact that Rosebud doesn’t matter at all.
Honestly, I am the least snobby person in the world, but this is how I really feel about it: I could tell you and you would shrug and go, “oh. cool.” and never think about it again, or you could watch the movie again keeping in mind that Rosebud is irrelevant and the point of the movie would probably be obvious to you then. When I really felt like I understood Kane, it was profound - and at the risk of sounding corny, it changed my life. And that is why it is my favorite movie. It has nothing to do with camera movement or chiaroscuro lighting or mise-en-scene sequences. It’s the story.
That people are happier as kids isn’t really much of an insight. The impression I get is no matter what you think of Kane and his very flawed life, love him or hate him - he was a kid, once.
For what that’s worth.
The movie is compelling for reasons other than its ending.
Yes, it is a symbol of his lost youth – but it’s also “just another piece of the puzzle.” It’s a McGuffin to hang the plot on, but, like most McGuffins, it really doesn’t matter to the plot what it is.
Breaker Morant
“Obviously you construed your orders a bit more broadly than we intended, but what the hell, that’s all right. It’s a guerilla war, after all. Off you go, then!”
Trading Places
“Billy Ray, those old men are just going to use you like they used me. Don’t believe them!”
Dark City
“You see those creepy pale guys in the long coats? Don’t mess with them.”
Notorious
“The radioactive ore? Oh, it’s in these bottles here. Care for a drink?”
The 39 Steps
“Just arrest that good-memory guy on stage, and Bob’s your uncle.”
Watchmen
“Ozymandias has his fingers in a few more pies than you might suspect, if you know what I mean.”
Se7en
“This is a nasty, rainy, corrupt, filthy city. Gwyneth and I are moving the hell out of here, pronto.”
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“The Grail? The cup Christ used the Last Supper? Here it is. Take it, it’s yours.”
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
“The Grail? The cup Christ used the Last Supper? Here it is. Take it, it’s yours.”