In teaching, “GENTLY!” in a slight falsetto, whenever the kids start tripping over each other. (That’s Princess Bride, folks.)
Any chance I get, “I say we take off, nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” (Aliens.)
“Put. Ze candle. BECK!” Only, substitute whatever noun the nearby family member is messing with. (Young Frankenstein.)
And only once have I pulled off the following, while driving:
“Shit!”
“What?”
“Rollers.”
“No.”
“Yeah.”
“Shit.”
(Blues Brothers)
And, again, only once have I managed to get someone (my brother) when he started with:
“I have a headache.”
“It might be a tumor.” (creepy little kid voice)
And my beloved brother looked at me, got it, and answered, “No, no, id’s nod a tumah.”
(Kindergarten Cop)
I have to add that I’ve been pleased on several occasions to have someone in my presence utter, “Red snapper!” to which I must reply, “Very tasty!” If this happens around my coworker, it will inevitably lead to a series of other UHF quotes and will end in tears.
Once in my lifetime the moons were all correct and I got to use my saved line. It went like this; my car broke down and some young girly drove up behind and honked her horn. Continuously. So I got out of my car and said, “How about I hold that for you, while you fix my car?”
I use, “Yes, yes it’s definitely a clipboard”, “A shitload? That’s a lot even for a fat bastard like you” but I am still waiting to use, “apparently we’re having a drink in some place called the raB”.
So, wait, the thing in The Big Lebowski is actually a ferret? That’s what I thought at first, but I guess I assumed that the Dude is a better zoologist than me.
Whenever anyone I know leaves on a mission [beer run, groceries, just going home], they’re all too often sent off with
“Bye now! Good luck storming the castle!”
I use this quite often, in fact, almost anytime someone mentions having a tumor. I’ll say, “Id’s nod a tooma.” It usually provokes confusion, especially when it is, in fact, a tumor they are talking about.
“Hommina ha-wa” I tried to train my friend to reply with “Gee Dad, I didn’t know you spoke cherokee!” This is from Duckman. The set-up was that Duckman had said Hommina ha-wa and his buddy Cornfed said, “either you’re babbling incoherently, or you just said my testicles are many-colored in cherokee.” But mostly it just comes out as “Hommina ha-wa…” <crickets>
I used that exact line a couple of months ago - for the 20th anniversery of first going out with my wife, I gave her a diamond ring (I never got her an engagement ring, she said at the time there were better uses for money). I said “ooooo, a sparklie!” and ever since then, that ring has been “the Sparklie”.
“Shake it, madam. Capital knockers.” --Sideshow Bob halfheartedly trying to emulate a construction worker.
“Kill him a lot.” Paul Reubens’s character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the movie.
One that I do get to use often is Bud and Kelly Bundy’s unenthusiastic “Thanks, dad,” when dad’s done something I don’t care for. (I’m a grownup. He thinks it’s funny).
