“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
“I dare you to make less sense.”
“Do what now?”
“Sweet crackers, I’m blind!”
first time poster ! Greetings!
When I hop in the elevator, I might say, “ok, so you all may be wondering what I’ve called you here for…”
When I see a stranger entering my office building, I might say, " Thank God you arrived! They were just sending me out to look for you!"
When someone is discussing or even mentioning an individual or a company, I might leap to my feet and yell, “THOSE BASTARDS !!!”
My best non-original line was at a service area on I-95, where I bought some rubbing alcohol, explaining to the sales guy that I like to take naps on long drives but that the screams from my passengers keeps me awake.
Are those any good?
O! and I forgot, spontaneously, when I was in a room with three women, getting my colonoscopy, the anestetheologist said, “Now breath this, and you’ll have the best sleep you’ve had in a long time.” and i blurted out, “And when I wake up, I’ll be married to one of you?”
They all got a kick out of that, and it put me in a good mood, to sleep.
“My hovercraft is full of eels!”
“The C.L.I.T. is actually a tiny offshoot of the L.A.B.I.A. . . .”
“Bye you guys. I will remember you all in therapy!” -Plankton
[Plankton is the antagonist of Spongebob Squareants. He says this after he bails during one of his MANY attempts to obtain the secret recipe for the Resturant that Spongebob works for.]
“You mean this is all just a dream? Alright! Bring on the dancing Tubas!” -Sheen
[From Jimmy Neutron. Sheen has ADD. Hence, I like him a lot.]
“I reject your reality, and substitute my own” -Adam from MythBusters.
Guys the question asked is quotes you’ve always wanted to use IF the correct situation came along.
“Sweep the leg.” - you’d think this situation would come up more often.
Or the UHF version, which I get to use in D&D anytime someone mentions Badgers, Dire Badgers, or the latest incarnation, Celestial Badgers.
Badgers? Badgers! We don’t need no stinkin’ BADGERS!!"
‘That IS creepy. You’re creepy <insert name here>.’
“Ordinary fucking people. I hate 'um.”
Actually there a lot of approprate situations for that one.
[QUOTE=Kyla]
I have two.
- “Nice marmot” from The Big Lebwoski.
I use “obviously you’re not a golfer” a lot (too much i am sure.)
I also use a punch line from a joke about a horrible golfer who berates his caddy, finally saying “you’re the worst caddy in the world” and the caddy responds “that would be too much of a coincidence.” I have used that line after being berated for poor performance.
the opportunity to use this line can arise more frequently if one frequents camping stores and other places where one might encounter marmot-brand tents. i dont know if marmot makes non-tents (things like jackets and sleeping bags and such) but i would imagine they do. there is a whole camping-world ride with unmammalian marmots out there, presenting perfect opportunites to use the line “nice marmot.”
it also helps with the whole “what is a marmot, exactly” conundrum. is it a marmot? is it a ferret? is it a badger? is it an ugly cat with buck teeth? and which of the above are marmots? all of them? with marmot-tents, the word “marmot” is written right there on the tent.
my friend had a marmot-brand tent once. it was indeed a nice marmot.
love
yams!!
From Carrie:
“Take off that dress. We’ll burn it together and pray for forgiveness.”
Haven’t found the opening for that one yet.
Help! I’m bein’ repressed!
I’m mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take it any more!
Niagara Falls; slowly I turned. Step by step. Inch by inch.
Infamy !infamy!theyve all got it in for me!
Talk Mr.Bond ?No I dont expect you to talk I expect you to die.
Looks like I chose the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.(Have used that one a few times)
Ah well here goes the last of the Brudenells
I did actually get to use this one, but it counts because I waited years for the proper moment:
Voice over intercom: Wak wak wak wak
Kid: What did he say?
Me: I think he said “blessed are the cheesemakers.”
Fortunately, it was an AP English class and at least half of them got the line.
“Here’s my response, Bowden”.
Several years ago my brother and I were in Moscow leaving our hotel to go to the train station to catch a train to Helsinki, Finland. Moscow had several train stations at the time, but only one had trains going to Finland. As I got into the cab it occurred to me that this was my chance to use a line I never dreamed I would be able to use. So, with as much drama as I could muster, I said “To the Finland station.”
Read this in a novel once and was impressed:
“Oh, did you rape me? I didn’t notice.”
Said by a woman who had been raped years previously by a man she had an ongoing antagonist relationship with. Naturally, I’d never want to be in a position to use this line.
“Oh, do let me go back and have a bit of peril!”