In response to “Miss Me?” - “With every bullet so far…”
Gosh I have a million of 'em…
From The Lion in Winter:
Eleanor: I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How’s that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn… but the troops were dazzled.
From Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:
Raoul Duke: With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he’ll never know.
and:
Raoul Duke: No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.
I have more, but that’s what comes to mind right away. Fun thread!
I’ll tell you what, Angelina; I’ll have sex with you for the 5th time today if you call up Jessica Alba and get her to join in. Oh, yeah, and some pizza, too.
“Consequences, shmonsequences, as long as I’m rich.” -Daffy Duck
“Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!” -Marvin the Martian
“Mercy is the mark of a great man.”
“It’s times like this that make me wish I had listened to what my mother used to tell me when I was young.”
“Why, what did she tell you?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t listen!”
“Elder, they’re in the halls!”
“Bar the door!”
I loved Heavy Metal!
Ever since we’ve been married, I’ve slowly been converting my wife to my way of thinking (she’s from a small town in Arkansas). She’s even seen some of my favourite one-liner movies like The Running Man, Demolition Man, and even Big Trouble in Little China.
It’s comforting that we can both laugh at the exchanges between Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock:
“He’s finally matched his meat. You really licked his ass!”
“That’s met his match, and kicked, kicked his ass.”
Terrific.
“Anything with flashing lights, y’know?” – Ed, in Shaun of the Dead.
“Do Not Thump the Book of G’Quan”
“Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people’s needs. Very sad life. Probably have very sad death. But, at least there is symmetry.”
From Babylon 5
Every now and then, to the complete confusion of my two sons I’ll set the main entree to dinner on the table and loudly announce, “Eat, eat, Eat! said the Pope’s child.”
I’ve always wanted to say:
“My intellect is vast. Or, at least, half-vast.”
I came home from work early one day so I could go see a friend of mine who was in the hospital. My wife was very confused to see me walk in the door so early in the day. 20 years I waited for a set up like this.
Wife – Why are you home so early?
Me- I have to go to the hospital
Wife - THE HOSPITAL?? What is it?
Wait for it….
Me – It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now
I still haven’t stopped giggling like a little school girl. 
“You’re weird” (with a creepy, blank smile)
-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the new one)
Somehow, I’ve never gotten a chance to use it, although by rights I should have plenty. 
The conventioners had all turned into great huge lizards, and some sick bastard was feeding them liquor.
I shouted to my attorney, Bring Back Golf Shoes, or we’ll never get out of here alive!
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
The chew bubble gum and kick ass is one of my all-time favourites.
SomeGuy:Handing me a piece of paper What do you make of this?
Me: Folding the paper in various ways I can make a hat or a little boat or a kite…
It’s very unlikely that the appropriate situation would ever come up but here it is. From Grease 2:
“We’re gonna die and I’m wearing my mother’s underwear!”
What amazes me is how many of these I have actually used. I must lead a very sad life.
A couple I have seen mentioned (that I have had occasion to use):
“I came night to a-soilin’ me pantaloons!” and “May the good fairy what sits in the sky grant yer every wish.”
– both from Bored of the Rings
“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
– WKRP in Cincinnati
“Don’t call me Shirley.”
– Airplane!
“One does not simply walk into Mordor.”
– The Fellowship of the Ring
“My ass twitches, you people make my ass twitch”
Which is funny, because in my circle of friends, the quote used is often the next line:
(IIRC) “Hey Farve, what’s that restaraunt you like with the crap all over the walls?”
Oh sweet lord, I -have- to start using these!