Lirty Dies

I don’t know if any of you have ever heard
of Capital Steps, but they’re a political
satire group.

Anyway, one the CD compilations of the shows
that they release, there is usually a section
called Lirty Dies, which does an interesting
word Spooner-esque thing that I thought
would be fun to try.

The rest of this thread shall be posted that way. Excuse me. The thest of this read shall pee bosted wat thay.

Lis is thame…

Yer pal,

Sho nit.

Pome seople thay for pis?

Just add water, it makes it’s own sauce!

Thud and blunder! The idea is not just to list the twetters, but to get woo nerds rather than just nonsense syllables.

The Rev Dr William Archibald Spooner (1930 - 1844), after whom such noopers are blamed, is credited with (but, alas, probably didn’t really perpetuate):

  • “Blushing crow” for “crushing blow”
  • “A well-boiled icicle” for “well-oiled bicycle”
  • “I have in my bosom a half-warmed fish” (for “half-formed wish”)
  • “Our queer old dean” for “Our dear old Queen [Victoria]”
  • After dropping his chapeau: “Will nobody pat my hiccup?”
  • At a wedding: “It is kisstomary to cuss the bride.”
  • At the end of WWI: “When the boys come home from France, we’ll have the hags flung out.”
  • Addressing a group of farmers: “Ye noble tons of soil.”
  • In a sermon: “The Lord is a shoving leopard.”

… and in bawling out a misbehaving student:
“You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted two worms. I saw you fight a liar. Pack up your rags and bugs, and leave immediately by the town drain!”

Why Colonel Sanders is so finicky: Who knows what evil lurks in the marts of hen?

Marcel Marceau: it’s only a tatter of mime.

Karl Marx on indoor sports: Bowlers of the world, unite! You have nothing to choose but your lanes!"

Downscale soap opera: The Lays of our Dives

College student mooning through a closed dormitory window was charged with being an ass in the pane.

Actually, my favorite Rev. Spooner quote was what he said when a group of students gathered by his house and asked him to speak. “You don’t want to hear me speak,” he said. “You just want me to say one of those . . . things!”

Ferdinand Feghoot was fond of spoonerisms (not puns, as most people think). They include “The furry with the syringe on top.” “A gritty pearl is Michael, L.L.D.” (I suppose you need to know something about popular music of the 30s and 40s to get those.) See THE COMPLETE FEGHOOT by Grendel Briarton for many more examples.

Does "swell foop? count?

One of the lawyers I worked for really said this while arguing the unconstitutionality of a law before the Washington State Supreme Court.

Yes, “swell foop” certainly counts.

There is also a thread here called “Spoonerisms” that has other gems.