As the thread’s title states, I want to know the all of the smurfs’ names.
Lest you be thinking I might be planning on misusing this fundamental knowledge—or worst perhaps, that I am a smurfs-obsessed freak :eek:–allow me to explain the peculiar facts behind this anomalous request. Make of it what you will.
So, basically, this was a rather typical day: Had my morning light saber lesson with my revered master, Darth Cecil; partook in the 10 parsec race with my shiny new X-wing, got my afternoon midiclorian shot, mind-tricked some Jawas into repairing my R2 unit for free, had Pizza Hutt for dinner, you know, the usual life a young padawan engages in.
So, not to drift off subject, as I was levitating my toothbrush across my mouth, I had an epiphany: It was a clear vision of Master Yoda communicating from the beyond. His profound communion with The Force had revealed to him what he in turn divulged to myself: If I was ever to become a full-fledged Jedi Knight, one supreme test of skill remained: To recite in its totality the names of the smurfs. :eek:
Unusual? Perhaps. Extravagant? No doubt. But who am I—or you for that matter—to dare question the designs of The Living Force? So, as I prepared to embark on this extenuating journey—this crucial step on the eternal quest for knowledge essential to every Jedi’s life, I vaguely recalled my master once mentioning a legendary group of sages which called itself The Straight Dope, and had, same as I, dedicated their existence to the pursuit of The Truth and the eradication of that most nefarious of feelings: ignorance (ignorance leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to…well, you know the drill). 
And such is the story of how I found myself in these mystic lands, presenting you with this highly eccentric, yet essential-to-maintaining-the-balance-of-The-Force, request:
What are the god-damned names of the 100 smurfs? (Does this figure include the smurflings?). My Jedi future—and the well-being of the galaxy as well—rests upon the answer to this question being unveiled. Will you help me?
Have a very smurfy day,
quasar smurf
