List of some of the worst movies you have ever seen

I spent a lot of time using the search facility to come up with a good thread title. I searched thread titles for the keywords “worst movies” during the past two years.

It seems that searching for “movie” instead of “movies” was not a very good strategy because it yielded a very small number of movies. After all, would you rather have a thread titled “Worst Movie Ever” or “Worst Movies Ever”? “Worst Movie Ever” seems far too restrictive. It seems to me that you only get a small number of films that way. But, I wanted to give people the option to list any number of films they wanted.

In any case, it doesn’t make much sense to list movies that are just pure trash and would never be seen in most daily experiences. For example, there was one old horror movie starring Paris Hilton that was really terrible. But almost no one ever saw it. So, what’s the point of listing it? I’m hoping people will list movies here they have seen or have heard about that proved to be real stinkers.

One such film I saw very recently was called “Knowing”. It starred Nicholas Cage and the description sounded like it might be a very good film. It concerned the end of the world. Cage discovers a way of predicting how and when the Earth will be destroyed and all life on the planet will be extinguished.

Please feel free to make any comments you like about Nicholas Cage. Many people seem to think he is a terrible actor and that any movie starring Cage will turn out to be just terrible. I’m not so sure about that. But I am sure this movie was definitely terrible.

Do yourself a favor and avoid this piece of crap!

Well, if we’re not including stuff on MST3K, I’d like to nominate as the worst film I’ve sat through in a theater, On the Right Track, starring Gary Coleman.

I don’t see the need to include anything on MST3K. But I suppose that is up to you.

By the way, for anyone interested, that old Paris Hilton horror movie was called “House of Wax” from 2005.

Born American.

Horrible.

Heavenly Bodies. Two hours of aerobic dancing.

Even the sex scenes were boring. And I was a hormone-addled teenager when I formed that opinion.

Ultraviolet was one seriously craptacular movie. The acting, CGI and plot came together to form something that sucked so hard that at one point I could have sworn it was pulling in characters from a John Woo movie.

Wow, This does look bad. I kinda want to watch this too see how bad it is.

There is nothing wrong with just skimming thru parts of it. You can always stop at some spots that interest you and then move on.

If you don’t have to pay any extra to watch this movie - especially if you can fast forward through most of it - it’s a real good way to check out movies that you have never seen before.

Most of the real wonderful films I love … I first found them this way … through a recco from another forum member.

Oh my!

Cynthia Dale is not only one of the very worst actors I have ever seen. But she is also an extremely vile and nasty person on top of that.

Yeah I’m actually doing that right now. I found the movie on Youtube.

Cool World (1992)

TRON (1982)

Krull (1983)

I’ve seen some stinkers but these 3 rank right up there, or down there.

By an odd coincidence I had just been looking at the wikipedia page “List of films considered the worst” when I opened SD today. It’s a decent list, though far from all-inclusive:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_considered_the_worst

One not on that list that I saw on cable recently: 2008’s Don’t Go in the Woods, directed by Vincent D’Onofrio. I’ve liked D’Onofrio very much as an actor in several of his projects, but this movie…well, it’s not for all tastes, certainly. I thought it was a complete misfire. It’s not bad in a “so bad it’s good” way…it’s just bad.

I’ll play:

The Messenger (Milla’s first turkey?)

The Musketeer (Tim Roth as a villain and you’re bored?)

It’s All About Love (flyin’ Ugandans! WTF?)

Holy Smoke! (if full frontal Kate Winslet can’t save it, nothing will)

Hardbodies (even my punk teenage ass found the protagonists of this “comedy” to be thoroughly obnoxious)

Night Watch (proves that Americans haven’t cornered the market on incomprehensible CGI fests)

Expelled (Ben Stein, you’re an idiot)

i am sam (try making through the entire film without puking)

Leningrad Cowboys Meet Moses (I LOVE Aki Kaurismaki but this film is either an awful, boring sequel or a spot-on satire of awful, boring sequels)

The Reaping (from my mini review: “Hilary Swank slums it as a skeptic who investigates a rash of Biblical plagues and ends up a believer. Reap my ass.”)

Pyrates and Wilder Napalm (burn these turkeys, please!)

Glen or Glenda … Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Many laffs! Oh Yeah!

I think the worst kinds of movies are those with full studio production behind them. If we take a movie like The Room by Tommy Wisseau, it’s hard to blame him all that much. He was not talented or skilled enough to make a good movie and what you see is a labor of an odd man who had a lot of passion.

Birdemic is also hardly worth mentioning. They just had no idea what was going on.

Really terrible movies that had a lot of production money and so forth are:
**
Battlefield Earth** - The Rifftrax makes this one funny, but alone it is tremendous how badly made it is.

**Chairman of the Board **- The Carrot Top movie. It’s that bad.

**
The Last Airbender** - Watch the show. Then, watch this movie. Proceed to cry.

Son of the Mask - Jaw droppingly bad.

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace - I know the budget was greatly reduced, but it still had a company making it fully. It’s beyond horrible. Christopher Reeve called the other actors to tell them how bad it was before it came out. He regretted it. So did we. I wish he’d made a fifth one just to redeem the series, like the Star Trek crew did after Star Trek V.

Highlander II: The Quickening - This may be the winner for me. The fact that it is from the same director and writer blow my mind. It makes no sense and shits on the original, one of my favorite movies of the 80’s. Never see this movie. It does not really exist.

**Batman and Robin **- Joel Schumacher has apologized for this movie. It was not a good idea. End of story.

The only movies in the last 15 years I have quit watching(therefore, they do not count as I have not seen them):

Love Actually - I know, maybe sacrilege to some? I hated this movie so much I quit about 1 hour in. Sue me.

Master and Commander Far Side of the World: Again, surprising to some. I hated this one, too.

I’m with Ebert in thinking Knowing is a great movie, by the way. This scene below is one of my favorite one-shots in movie history.

Knowing Plane Crash scene. Love it.

I forgot one.

**Die Hard 5 **- Good Lord. I like Die Hard 1-4 a lot. This one does not exist, like Highlander 2.

That’s a fair point. On that rationale, I’ll add Prometheus to my own list.

I think disappointment is a huge factor for most movies. I might pull Carrot Top’s movie(and the Mast sequel) off my list now I think about that.

Production + Expectations + Talent usually means huge disappointment when the movie is bad.

I used to say Phantom Menace, but to be honest…it’s terrible but no where near the worst. It’s far better made than Highlander 2, Superman IV, or Die Hard 5.

Watching Doom Generation, I remember thinking “Even Rose McGowan’s boobs aren’t making this watchable…”