Can I use the excuse of the terrorists winning to FINALLY get laid?
OW! Stop hitting me!
I hate hearing that the Yankees winning is unfair to the other teams.
You, my dear, are just not hanging out with right guys.
I can so see an Onion headline out of this:
Osama Bin Laden doesn’t give a shit whether couple goes to the movies or not!
Jack Green tried to convince his wife Sarah to go to see the new movie K-Pax this weekend, despite her fear of future terrorist attacks. “If we don’t go,” Jack insisted, “the terrorists have already won.” However, an exclusive Onion interview with Osama Bin Laden has revealed that he really doesn’t give a shit about the issue. “Who are these people? Why should I care? My goal is to kill lots of innocent people and topple the Satanic American regime,” Bin Laden was quoted as saying. “Whether a couple of dipshits I’ve never heard of go to the movies or stays home and watches TV isn’t really a big deal to me.”
Hey, that’s my excuse!
Ya know, I published a handbook for law enforcement agencies and the media on the topic of panic management.
I got a phonecall yesterday from an american client… the comment was: “Fuck, I wish we had had time to implement your recommendations before this. Looks like we’re fucked all the way up north to Argentina.”
I pointed out to him that up north would probably have been closer to White Horse or Iqualuit, but I digress.
sigh
Equally tired of all this shit. If I hear Anthrax once more, I’m gonna go infect me some civilians with a bad case of the runs. Then we’ll have a toilet paper shortage to worry about.
Elly
I’m tired of hearing that this would never have happened if {GHW Bush, Clinton, GW Bush} had never become President.
I’m tired of hearing that Gore would have handled things so much {better, worse} than Bush.
I’m tired of hearing people assert that “we must rally 'round our President” as if that really meant something significant.
I’m tired of seeing e-mail forwards of dire warnings of terrorists putting anthrax in peanut butter cups or blowing up shopping malls on Halloween. Now that that holiday is over I suppose the next thing we’ll be warned about is a threat lurking in the nation’s cranberry supply.
And I’m especially tired of hearing people make up stupid lyrics to a certain Harry Belafonte song. :rolleyes:
“In this first Hallowe’en / Long weekend / Rainy day / International Ear Scraping Day / Any other significant event since the September 11 terrorist attacks in New York and Washington X weeks ago…”
I know it’s the first. Unless they decided to double up on holidays, it’s pretty well a foregone conclusion that it will be the first. I also know that whenever somebody mentions terrorist attack, the first thing I’ll think of is “September 11,” “New York,” and “Washington.”
Yeah, and “we have been so materialistic and self-centered, we should start thinking of sacrificing for something greater than ourselves”… HEY! Ain’t that just a PC way of putting forth the theory that we deserved it 'cause we’re immoral?
Were we “TOO SELF SATISFIED IN THE 90’S”? Hell, we had BETTER be! We had just won a 40-year Cold War, the economy boomed through the roof… Maybe some people can’t understand, but when times are good, it is RIGHT to ENJOY them!!!
[Sub] And anyway, think: do materialistic sensualists who only care for their own pleasure ram airplanes into buildings? Then maybe we need MORE selfish consumerism in the world, not less 
?[/sub]
Oh, and, yes:
“IT WAS A WAKE-UP CALL” – Hey, OK, so WE’RE AWAKE ALREADY!
“This really puts things into perspective.”
What the hell does that mean, anyway? Hallelujah, I can draw scenes with depth, now that everything’s been put into perspective! I love converging lines!
“The Yankees are winning the World Series for the city.”
Uh, no they’re not, they’re winning it for the fucking TROPHY, assholes! You think the city’s going to sink into mass depression, just because the Yankees lose a fucking baseball game? When they do, are you going to say their loss “puts things into perspective”? GAH!
No, no, no, we have to get everything back to the way it used to be! So remember everyone…
If Guin gets laid, the terrorists have won.
“This, which may be his second-to-last game as a Yankee…”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Shaddup already! If you can’t say anything relevant, get out of the booth!
Joe Buck, I’m talking to you.
Amtracks. Amtracks amtracks amtracks.
Gah.
Yesterday, I heard one mother explaining to another that her kids would not trick-or-treat this year, in case they might be given tainted candy harboring Amtracks.:rolleyes:
[li]Ignorant dumb fucks who keep egging me into an argument with such comments as, “The people of Afghanistan deserve everything they’re getting.”[/li]No, they don’t. They have no power over the extremists in their country, no more than we do over the extremists in our country you moron. So quit spouting your shit, I don’t want to have to use a fraction of my intelligence to drive your retarded ideas straight into the ground, again.
“This is about patriotism, aren’t you patriotic?” No one was this patriotic before September 11th, and I think that anyone who claims to be now is a hypocrite. No, I’m not patriotic, because I don’t have a reason to be. Yeah, yeah, firemen, police officers, whatever. They were doing their job. Doing what they are paid to do. Nurses and doctors expose themselves to communicable diseases every day, they risk their lives for your safety and health. But they’re not heroes, noooo…
[li]Seeing 8-fucking-kajillion American flags on cars, hanging on their windows, taped to the back of them, stuck up the tailpipe, stuck up these people’s asses, painted on their faces, on their shirts, flags made into pants, blouses, hair accessories. Never in my life have I been so fucking sick of the American flag! It has become a symbol of bigotry, not freedom. CNN said there have been over 750 reported cases of hate crimes against people of middle eastern descent. And all of these acts have been made under the blanket of patriotism. These people piss me off so much![/li][li]People who are scared to leave their house or check their mail. Because terrorists are really going to send Jane Doe an envelope of anthrax, “just because”.[/li][li]I’ll have to second gatopescado’s post about anthrax in general. Top notch.[/li][li]The media and the way it distorts everything. “An amazing 4 people have died from anthrax-related complications.” Wow! 4! More people die from impaling themselves with Bic pens than from this![/li]Basically I am sick of this whole situation. I am sick of how it makes people treat eachother, and how they justify it. I wish it would all go away, and all the stupid people would just shut up already.
Okay. I’ll say it. I’m getting sick of all the fucking flags.
That should read: I’ll agree with ladyfoxfyre. Didn’t mean to sound like I’m the first brave one to confess this waning of patriotism.
I’m totally with you on the Anthrax thing. They’ve been going downhill ever since Sound of White Noise.
Already? Dang, hope they’re not sold out of of Q-Tips down at the store.
And yes, please, enough with the flags, already. Especially the giant ones mounted on ten-foot poles in the beds of rusted-out 4x4 pickups.
Oh, and we might wanna rethink all the “God Bless America” signs everywhere. If Big Sky Father didn’t bless us by stopping the attacks in the first place, what makes us think that He’s gonna bless us now?
I may be no NYPD fire fighter, but I know a national crisis in need of emergency action when I see one…
That was foreplay.
I’m tired of hearing “Everything has changed”. If people had enough sense to realize they should make appropriate changes after significant events, everything would have changed after Oklahoma City or Pan Am, or WWI! Everything will be exactly the same in at most a month or two.