I guess that’s a perk to the job. Still haven’t been invited in for sex, I guess I’ll have to take kids betting excited.
You mean that all those porn movies LIED?!?
Though if a little kid thought you were Santa and invited you in for sex, that’s one offer I’d seriously consider declining.
Do you poke a hole through the middle of the pizza/pizza box just in case the situation ever comes up?
Actually I never got that part of the pizza guy porn movies – when he sticks his pecker through the hole in the pizza box, why doesn’t he get scalded by hot melted mozzarella?
But if they know I’m just the pizza guy I’m in the clear right?
I’ve actually never seen pizza guy porn. I can’t imagine that’d look very sexy anyway.
I dunno about you, but by the time a pizza delivery gets to my house, the mozzarella has congealed into a tepid, gluggy mess…no scalding likely.
Which, of course, makes it the perfect delivery vehicle for another sort of congealed, tepid, gluggy mess.
I did get a few answerers-of-the-door-in-their-skivvies, several of whom were quite attractive- and several of whom were dudes.
There was also one glorious night when TWO (!) girls answered the door nude.
You could have heard my jaw drop from the next county I think.
Never, ever got the sex invite, though, except a couple times when it was my girlfriend, which is cheating.
Wait… I thought that if you boinked your actual SO, it WASN’T cheating. I’m so confused!
Anyone who shows up at my door with food is automatically the object of my affections. Problem is, their Vespa is always double parked.
Um…
Dude - your user name seems particularly apt… .
…I am now plagued with bad, bad mental images of the pizza box getting stuck. Bad mental images.
So are you waiting for a girl who says that there’s not enough sausage on the pizza and could you give her some more?
No, he’s waiting for the woman who says that she ordered a white pizza.
“I’ll make it white for ya, baby!”
Oh, and since no one’s done it yet…
Bowm Chikka Wow Wow
Time for a higher dollar trade…as an onsite PC tech I have been offered sex twice.
That’s because you get to wear one of those sexy Geek Squad shirts, as opposed to a silly hat and polo.
Nothing shows off one’s rippling muscles quite like a Geek Squad shirt. And a Volkswagen Beetle.
Two different events. One is little kids jumping up and down yelling about the pizza man being there. The other would be some sexy young adult needing extra attention.