If I had to have a piratical handicap, it would be the parrot. Think of the dry cleaning bills if you had a parrot on your shoulder all day.
Or a cutlass scar on my face. That would be all piratical, yet I’d have full use of my extremities. That’s always a good thing. It’s a real bitch to try to do coin tricks with a hook.
-Rue. (bird shouldered)
Arrrrrrrrrr! Rue took me pirate disability. Them scurvy hampsters be so slow he beats me to it. I thinks a cutlass scar would be the way to go mateys. It be a hint of danger yet I could still swash buckles and shiver timbers with me fellow pirates.
Arrrrrr!!!
Onward to answer the ‘Little Mysteries’ query for mysteries, I had one last night. I was on the PC when the power went out, so i grabbed my flashlight & started around the house to make sure no one fell in the dark. Both my boys were in bed, but the oldest, age 6, was still awake & upset at not having a night light.
My wife then comes up the stairs with a candle in a glass candle holder (1/3 inch thick glass aroounf bottom 4 inches of candle design). She puts it on the floor by his bedroom door (against my objections) and tells me she’ll take it away in 10 minutes when he’s asleep. I start walking down the stairs from her, keeping my flashlight on the steps as we spoke and walked.
Suddenly, I heard a loud <pop> from behind me. I call out to my son, “What was that?” And then he starts calling “Daddy”. Thinking a toy just fell & caught fire, I race up to the room. He’s pointing to the floor next to his bed saying “It went there, Daddy.” I point the flashlight down and find…a shard of glass. Actually, shard is too thin & fragile a word…more like a Chunk of glass. And next to it is another chunk. I immediately point my light at the candle and see that the candle as at the very bottom of its tallow…and the glass surrounding the base had exploded (?) and that the two chunks (which were very hot) were the only pieces blown outward.
Now my wife just laughed & said “Wow…cheap glass”. Evidently she’d gotten them somewhere free and I commented ‘I guess now we know why’. Still, that glass was as thick as a beer mugs in a bar. Does this qualify as a ‘mystery’?
A mystery quietman? Naw. Your mice are just playing with firecrackers again. Danged rodents.
I’ve blown apart several (in pirate talk: many a’) candle holders by letting the candle burn down too low which makes the glass hot which in turn makes the hot part expand which is held back by the cool glass until the hot part is hot and expandy enought to blow the whole (scurvy) thing apart.
I have those bend-and-shake glow-stick thingies in case of a power outtage. They hardly ever explode.
-Rue. (prepared yet again)
No, No! not a real parrot! Nasty screechy things! I’d be deaf inside of a week! Well that’s it then, the deal’s off!
I mean, “Belay that!”
I’ll have a peg leg that’s really a small cannon, only I’ll just have it sewn inta a third leg o’ me breeches, ‘cause I’ve still got both me real ‘ens, ya see?
An’ an eye patch in the middle of me fore’ead.
An’ a monkey.
“Avast!”
“A vast what?”
“I don’t know”
A vast wasteland, perhaps?
Peg leg? Check.
Real leg? Again, check.
Eye patch? Checkerooni.
Monkey? I’s gots it all fer yas Bumba!
(It’s old, but I still like it.)
You know Rue, you should collect all these stories of yours and put 'em inna book. You could call it Posts From The Edge or Long Threads Journey Into Night, or Poster In The Rye. [sub]work with me here folks, I’m not good at this.[/sub]
You’re way funnier than Carrottop! I’d even write you a foreword. It’d say “He’s way funnier than Carrottop.”
Well, we could work on that.
Really, you should start collecting. I’d collect 'em for you, but that’d just be wierd.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go finish hand washing my gold cape. Next time I’m getting cotton.
No, I have to take exception to your statement there, Bumbazine.
You are good at this. You happen to be at least as good as anybody else in these things, except for maybe Rue and FairyChatMom. In fact, I really started feeling that it was okay for me to post my drivel to these threads when you vouched for me in one of the early Bettie discussions. I realize, of course, that you were playing a character, but it helped. Really.
On the other hand, Carrottop (Carrot Top, CarrotTop? … eh) must die. Or at least move to some small, obscure town in Wyoming and never get in front of a camera again.
Now, what’s your Pirate Disability?
See, Kallessa*, do you see tanookie?
It is not you who kills the threads. It is I. I, the thread-killer who stalks by night. I, the weird and doom of…
Aw, forget it.
Ex - (not drunk this time, but how would you tell anyway?)
*I have the dove-gray tuxedo hanging in my closet under plastic. Just lay off the puns, okay sweetie?
Aw gee thanks for the kind words Ex, I’m touched. In fact, many people have told me I am.
Just for that, I’ll kill this thread so you won’t have to have it on your conscience.
Good Night, all.
I mean, Yar!
Looks like I have to choose between puns or matrimony.
Does the fact that I find this a difficult decision mean anything?
What!? And I was looking forward to kissing the bride!
[sub]It’s the only way I’ll ever get to buss Kallessa without suffering a full-on assault by Mrs. B.[/sub]
Oh well, I guess Girls Just Want To Have Puns.
I hope you’re not on puns and needles over your decision.
Hi - Just in case you were all wondering, I’m in Baltimore with my sweetie and we now have power again! The marina was without electrical juice for almost 48 hours, but now the fridge is humming away and the air is being conditioned and the water is hot and I’m on line. So life is good.
Nary a mystery here…
How To Hijack A SDMB Thread in One Easy Step.
Okay, fine.
I am apparently of lesser value than the fleeting mild pleasure a certain lady derives from a cleverly crafted play on words. I can live with that. After all, I was once informed that I ranked lower than a cat, of all things, in an entirely different lady’s affections.
And I wasn’t wondering about the electrical situation in Baltimore at all, so there, Missy. Glad you’re both okay though.
Sorry, I’m just a little grumpy because I can’t sleep.
Ex - (Putting an endstamp on this sucker this time)
Well I for one am happy to know that FairyChat Mom made it to her conjugal weekend safe and sound and that hubby’s boat survived and that they now have electricity again!
I’m not so interested in Ex’s insomnia though… got plenty of my own thanks!
Ex, if it’s any consolation, I like you better than my husband’s cat. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t insist on rubbing against my legs when I was trying to dry off after my shower.
Or would you??
OK, then, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t try to climb up on my chest while I was trying to use the computer.
Or would you?
Well, then, I’m reasonably sure you wouldn’t yell at me if I didn’t serve your tuna in a timely fashion.
Right?
Yeah, that’s why I like you better than the boat cat.
Huh. This thread’s turned pirate-y and punny while I was off debauching last night.
I had a perfectly marvellous time, and I expect my hearing will come back in the next two days. Normally I wear earplugs, but I forgot, and then the only drugstore open late only had foam ones :(. I was only out until 3:00, even though it went until 5:00, because I’m getting old.
Sorry, everyone, I’m too tired to wiggly-dance today. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, I had a mystery this morning. It’s Sunday so I decided I would have a treat and poach myself a couple of eggs. I don’t get to eat eggs very often, so that’s the treat part. Anyway, I did. I cracked the eggs into almost boiling water and put a cover over them, 'cause I like my yolks firm. Then I toasted an english muffin and lightly buttered it. When the eggs were done I put them on the muffins with a very thin slice of cojack cheese on top.
The first egg was perfect, yolk nice and firm, but when I bit into the second muffin/egg/cheese concoction, cooked in the same water, in the same pan, liquid yolk squirted all over my shirt. That’s the mystery part.
I guess the yolk was on me. [sub]That’s the punny part.[/sub]
FCM I’m glad the boat’s alright. And you and hubby too, of course.
Ex, I have problems accepting compliments, but I’m working on it. Thank you my friend.
Lissla, seriously, I lost part of my hearing working around jet engines for 3 years. It’s a PITA. Please be more careful in future, K?
I have a dilemma.
See, I’d like to respond to all the nice posts in this thread, but if I do I’ll bump it back up, and then Tessie, er, Rue will get testy with me, because it’s time for a new one.
Ah, heck with it. I’m better than a boat cat. Yippee!
Listen to Bumbazine about the hearing protection thing, folks. One time I went to the range without my plugs and shot a few rounds of skeet anyway. Big mistake.