When ever she says [pick a word], go ‘ngeee… ngeee… ngeee.’
.
Hey, what the hell did I ever do to you? Jeeesh!
You elbowed me.
No, no, no…
… I’m pretty sure it was the jerkwad Limpwrist.
Those are all good, jjimm. I would add, always give vague answers to questions - “What would you like for dinner?” “Food.” “Where would you like to go for dinner?” “A restaurant.” “Where would you like to go on vacation?” “Someplace nice.”
Amateurs. The way to truly annoy her is to become perfect. Put everything where it belongs. Read her mind so when she asks you to do something you can say “Oh I finished that yesterday” Clean the house, take the dog for a walk, finish the 100 little outstanding projects around the house, take her to a movie she’ll love.
When she has nothing to complain about she’ll be truly insane.
Really.
Trust me.
Another great one: repeat everything she says back to her, but in a squeaky voice. A tip: where most people would give up after a few minutes, a true master of irritation will keep it up to the point of receiving physical violence.
I found that breathing in and out annoyed my wife to no end.
I’ve only been with my husband for 10 years (married for 5), but this does drive me crazy. We’ll be getting ready to go somewhere, and I’m by the door and waiting…and waiting…and he’s still in the bedroom. Finally “what are you doing, let’s GO!”
“I’m cutting my toenails!”
:smack: “NOW?!?”
Also, he’ll rearrange the dishwasher. Apparently the way I place certain things in the only space they fit isn’t good enough.
Make her into the family alarm clock. This works for my husband.
Read over her shoulder.
Pick up the book she is working on from the place she has left it and start reading it from the beginning. If she objects, dog ear the page you are on and hand it to her.
Wait until she is on the third to the last page and then demand her attention for a trivial conversation.
Oops, I didn’t close the drawers all the way. Again.
To annoy him:
Make little ‘‘mwapping’’ noises (that’s what amoebas do, in case you didn’t know) when he’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth before bed. The longer he takes, the louder I ‘‘mwaaap!’’
Also a nighttime ritual: when he leaves the light on in the bedroom before coming to bed, repeat the classic Shel Silverstein poem ad nauseum:
The baby bat cried out in fright!
Turn on the dark, I’m afraid of the light!
Now all I have to do is yell, ‘‘I’m a baby bat!’’ and it sends him into conniptions.
Also fun: threatening him with a wet cat.
To annoy me, all he really has to do is wait until we’re about to leave the house and then suddenly announce he has to go to the bathroom.
That reminds me: leave the refrigerator door open for longer than 1.5 seconds.
Oh my god, the precious, expensive energy, it’s escaping! Hurry!
Hehehe.
My husband is so not allowed near this thread.
I guess I shouldn’t have told him about it, then. :smack:
I wants it!
oh ITD. If I was any more annoying you wouldn’t like me any more.
I was hoping these were warm-ups for a close encounter… If youknow what I mean
Wrong kind of nuts, dear.
During casual conversations, I tend to get distracted by mundane things or something I remembered suddenly. It drives him bonkers when that happens and I fail to
Buy her flowers or a present for no reason at all.
You must start doing this from the beginning or she
will think you are trying to make up for doing something wrong:smack: