Hey electric company, if you have set me up as an automatic payer, thus saving us the time and paper of me mailing in a check, could you possiblity sort your bills and not waste a return envelope inserted into my bill?
If I have been having a monthly donation posted to my credit card all year, do you have to send me your boilerplate Holiday donation mailing? I’m already giving!!
Why was the song “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” written like that, by people who claim to be in touch with African issues? Does it ever snow at Christmastime in Africa? Should they know it’s Christmas if they’re not Christians? School me, Dope; I’m sure I’m missing something here.
“There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long long ago”?? Does anyone tell GHOST STORIES at Christmas?!
I don’t know of any line in “Do They Know It’s Christmas” that says this, but I will admit it’s been a while since I’ve heard the song. At any rate, I think the point of the song is, regardless of religious beliefs, in places like the US or the UK, etc., it’s pretty easy to know when it’s Christmas time because it’s everywhere - lights, snow, decorations, etc. In some places in Africa, there’s nothing to tell anyone that this is a special time of year for anyone - no snow, no decorations, and the only thing worth celebrating is the fact that they’re still alive. The “Christmas Spirit” in more affluent countries often involves doing good for the less fortunate, including helping provide for the starving in Africa.
That’s my take anyway.
My minor irritation today is people who can’t walk in a straight line. No, they have to zigzag left and right like they’ve spent the evening soaking in a whiskey barrel with a Bacardi IV hooked up. Just walk in a straight line, dammit, so I can walk around you, because if you walked any slower, you’d be going backwards.
Along those same lines, what the hell is the deal with companies all of a sudden making their fucking envelopes open UPSIDE DOWN?! The flap to open an envelope is supposed to be at the TOP, not the damn BOTTOM. When I have a stack of mail to open, and a cadence to flipping them over and running the letter opener through the flap, it fucks up my rhythm to have to stop, rotate and then slit. Who came up with this stupid idea anyway? What the hell purpose does it serve?
And also, if you are going to include a return envelope to use along with my check and your payment stub, could you at least provide an envelope that actually FITS YOUR payment stub? And if you don’t, please do not admonish me on the outside of said envelope that I should NOT FOLD my check or the stub. WTbloodyF?! How the hell else am I supposed to fit it in there, then, ya idiots?!
They sure do know it’s Christmas. They don’t have snow of their own but they do have all the TV Christmas glurge you could possibly want. They can spend all of December getting their fill of snow and rich white people, interspersed with commercials for shit they can’t afford. Yep, good thing we’re keeping them in the loop.
And no, for the three thousand and sixty second time, no, I do not want to open a Target Visa account and save 10% on my purchases. Not now, not then, not ever. It almost makes me want to shop at Wal-Mart. Almost.
To the twit in the mall that keeps offering me moisturizer and then when I refuse wants to “talk to me for a moment” about moisturizer what part of “no, thank you” don’t you understand? Why do I have to say no twice. I don’t want you to squirt your nasty lotion on me and I don’t want to talk about why I don’t want your nasty lotion on me.
Who the fuck says there’s no Christians in Africa? I’m so irritated with this meme. It’s not like the song was recorded in 1372 - there are not only millions of Christians but a shit-load of *Catholics *in Africa! Does no one remember very serious talk a few years back that the next Pope could well be African? grumble grumble grumble like that song grumble
To my roommate: Stop the random humming. Stop the under-the-breath singing. Stop talking to yourself. Let me caulk the goddamn window so that the cold air won’t hit me every night when I sleep. And stop shooting me those holier-than-thou morally righteous looks when you know I’m going out partying. The not-so-subtly left anti-drinking posters aren’t appreciated, either. And for the love of Og, stop trying to enter into conversation with me when I’m trying to sleep or study! (Sorry, all, just a little fed up at this point)
To the telemarketers: Please. I know that you are doing your job. Hell, I’ve done phonebanking for campaigns, I know how it feels to have people be extremely rude to you for that type of thing, and I try my utmost not to emulate that behavior. But really, when you call and wake me up at 8:30 in the morning, no means no. I don’t want it. I’m not interested. Please let me go back to sleep.
To the girls down the hall: I need naps, sometimes. My roommate is too damn noisy and wakes me up every morning. Would it be all that hard to refrain from screaming down the hall when you know I’m sleeping (well, trying to)? Especially when we’re supposed to be having 24-hour quiet hours during exams?
My latest irritation is shoe-shopping, and I blame all of you other women for it. Yes, that’s right - I said “you.” You’re all to blame for buying these incredibly stupid, uncomfortable shoes so that shoe manufacturers think all women want 4 inch stiletto spaghetti strap heels, or shoes with toes so pointy they’d look right at home on the Grinch, or shoes with ridiculous little nipples for heels, or shoes that are completely flat, or shoes with any number of types of asinine heels and toes. I just want a simple, black, slingback pair of pumps, with a low, normal heel. Won’t someone think of the feet? {Sob}
But I love my pointy-toed, spike-heeled shoes! It is my opinion that every woman should own at least one pair of horribly impractical shoes. They’re just fun to wear.
