Liver cancer?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Sorry to be A. Downer.

Just heard that my dad has liver cancer. He had melanomas and they never were completely gone.

So, I call today to say hello and he said just came from Dr. it’s spread to his liver.

My question to all of you in Straight Dope Land is how long from diagnosis till death on a whole?

He lives across the country from me and I was going to book a flight for the last week in December or first week in Jan, and someone said, best you take the earliest flight.

I knew that pancreatic cancer means that you could have days, any opinions on Liver.

Any opinions would be great.

Thank You.

2

Sorry to hear the news. Take the soonest flight.

I had a friend who had liver cancer. He was pretty much fine when they first found it, but he was gone in 6 weeks. The decline was pretty fast. After the first couple of weeks he was out of it–whether from the illness or meds I don’t know.

I have another friend who’s sister had liver cancer. She had some aggressive form of treatment and lasted like 18 months or something. She was fine until the last few weeks and then it was a rapid decline.

3

I’m so sorry.

My father died of (we believe) primary liver cancer. He was living in Europe at the time. I got the call that he’d been admitted to hospital, drove overnight to get to California, flew out with my aunt (his sister) the next day, he passed the day after we got there.

Long ago I had another friend who made it a few weeks after diagnosis with liver cancer. But his was initially diagnosed as an acute “bad back” episode and was only correctly diagnosed after it didn’t respond to treatment and got worse.

That said, cancer is a capricious beast and unpredictable, your dad could still be around and doing OK in January 2012; many people beat all the predicted odds for cancer and I have known people like that as well. But I’d still try to see him sooner rather than later. Based on my experience, even doctors involved really can’t give you anything better than a guess.

Again, I am so sorry.

4

I’m very sorry about your father. It’s hard to get very specific with a general diagnosis. I believe this cite says that on average, people in his situation live four to six months with treatment. But you seem to have reason to think your father is doing worse than that. You can ask for specifics or you can just book the earliest flight you’re comfortable taking.

5

whewwwwwww maybe not whew but whooooooooo might be better.(that noise you make before you cry for an hour)

I can’t get out there today or tomorrow.

I told my mom, (they are separated) that I wanted to take a tape recorder and talk to him about things so when he is gone I can listen to things.

Funny thing, I said where you headed, and he said back to work (he’s in his 80’s)

He’s one of those old school dads who could never tell his wife or sons that he loved them, but would call a lot (which tells me he cares) and I’m told that if his parents didn’t say it to him than he probably did not say it to anyone else.

Maybe when hes on his last minutes he will say it to me.

6

Your friend could’ve been my granddad. He was treated for a bad back for the longest time. After diagnosis and aggressive treatment, he only lived a few weeks. However, this was almost 30 years ago, so newer treatments could certainly make a difference.

That said, I’d take the earlier flight.

(In the “silver lining” department: after my grandmother insisted on every possible aggressive treatment, which most of the family thought were useless at best, cruel at worst, the cancer did a funny thing. It had metastisized, and when it spread, it apparently hit the “pain center” in the brain. One morning, Granddaddy woke up and told my mother “It doesn’t hurt anymore, baby.” He was the sort who might have toughed it out to make his loved ones feel better, but he was no longer taking hits from his morphine pump. It was a minor miracle of sorts, but his last two weeks seem to have been pain-free. And I’ll always be grateful for that.)

7

It’s OK to cry.

My dad wasn’t a demonstrative sort either, but I know he loved me something fierce and at the end, my only concern was for him and an easy passing because it was very scary for him.

I truly don’t believe there has to be a verbal declaration of love for it to be so. Your dad sounds like he has a lot of heart. Go see him as soon as you can. Call him and write letters until you can get there. If he’s a “silver lining” kind of guy, that is awesome but be aggressive about staying in touch.

8

Not to be pedantic but there is a difference between “liver cancer” and other cancer that has spread to the liver. I would guess that Marley’s post is the most applicable since that seems to address the situation that your father is facing. My MIL just lost her battle with cancer, 2.5 years after being diagnosed with colon cancer that had spread to her liver and lungs.

I would go with the first flight though. Looking back you aren’t likely to regret it.

9

Regrets are the hardest thing in the world to live with. Go see Dad. Take the tape recorder. Ask him about his childhood, his parents, the family stories he was told. Find out his best memories from when you were little.

That tape will be excruciating for you to hear, later. But your children and your grandchildren will think it’s priceless.
~VOW

10

I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s illness. :frowning:
As Baracus noted, you will find more accurate information by looking for information about advanced melanoma rather than liver cancer. Cancer is always identified by the place it originated in, and that affects how it behaves.
If he is still interested in pursuing treatment, you may want to try asking his doctors about if he would be eligible for a clinical trial involving one of the new experimental treatments. Relatively recently, there were some very promising experimental results dealing with drugs for advanced melanoma that this article talks about:

Personally, I would recommend getting out there to see him as soon as you can. Nobody can say for sure exactly how long he has. A doctor can predict based on the “average patient” how things will go, but individual patients vary and sometimes doctors are surprised both for the better and the worse about how an individual patient does. In any case, the earlier you can get out there the more likely it is that he’ll be feeling relatively okay and able to make the most of the visit.

11

Hi, thank you for the post.

His Melanoma was nodular? I believe that is what it was called.

I know doctors give bad diagnosis, would be really tough to be a doctor, do I tell them shorter time to live so they can do everything, do I tell them longer time so they are happy?

This started in his head and he had several surgeries to remove them.

I haven’t had to deal with death in my life (for the most part) only child from these 2 parents, divorce and a split so I’m not with my Bio dad for quite a number of years and then was able to find him and reconnect with him. Stay with him for vacations in several states.

He has held 2 incredibly cool jobs in his life, I’m proud of him.

He was a deep sea gas diver (where you wear the big divers bells and go really deep working on pipelines) He also got a chance to work on parts in the Shuttle.

I appreciate all of these responses, I didn’t post to hear I’m sorry’s I hope no one thinks that. Death is new to me and the eminent nature of it is almost worse.

12

My sympathy for you and your father. For what it’s worth, here’s my story. I hope it might help at least a little.

My Father hated doctors (and most authority figures) and dealt with life’s problems by ignoring them absolutely as long as it was possible to do so.

He began to have abdominal pains, diagnosed himself as having ulcers, and ignored the worsening “cramps”. Apparently, this went on a year or two. When he wound up lying up against walls in contorted positions, trying to find a position that eased the pain, my mother finally convinced him to see a doctor, who put him in the hospital that same afternoon.

Exploratory surgery two days later. They found a huge colon tumor that had spread throughout his abdomen. The surgeon went ahead and removed the original tumor, but told us Dad was “full of cancer” and long past any chance of a cure. As soon as Dad had recovered from the surgery, he could start chemotherapy to possibly buy a little time, but even with chemo he had 18 months at the very most.

He came home a few days later, and didn’t seem (to us) to be recovering all that much. Weak, and losing weight. Seven weeks after the surgery, his skin turned yellow. Back to the hospital, where the doctor went in with a scope (via throat), and found the liver now fully involved by the cancer. Nothing to do but treat him for pain. The Doc told us that it was something of a blessing in disguise, because liver cancer killed so quickly that the patient didn’t have much time to suffer. (These were his exact words, as best I can remember.)

Dad came back home, was “comfortable” with oral pain meds, even as he got weaker and thinner. A week and a half later he told us he was ready for the hospice, meaning the pain was finally unbearable. He arrvived at the hospice later that afternoon, and was more comfortable once the morphine drip was running. He died a day and a half later, and although he had several episodes of horrible pain, it would ease up as soon as the morphine was increased.
I was with him for his last 12 hours, and had been expecting (and dreading) to see him go through the agony of cancer; but overall, it seemed to me as if those episodes lasted for minutes, rather than the hours (or even days) that we’d been fearing. So with hindsight, I think the doctor was right- At least it was liver cancer.

This was 19 years ago. Dad was 67.

.

13

I wouldn’t get too wrapped up in a couple of words. If he loves you then you know it.

Seems to me my father lasted a year after diagnosis.

14

My condolences. How many weeks can you get off of work and can you fly out and back twice or only once? Because it seems to me the answer to that question might make a big difference in how you approach this.

15

Melaloma of the liver? Bad cancer. My wife’s sister’s husband only lasted about 2 months. In his 40’s with 4 boys under 15 at home. I almost cried over the frame of a canoe under construction in the garage.

Some cancers kill quickly. Some can be chopped out, zapped, or poisoned. I am blessed with one that with lifestyle limiting surgery allows one to avoid death for a long time.

16

My condolences. An Englishman of my acquaintance over here was diagnosed with liver cancer about mid-2009 and was gone in five months. It’s one of the quicker ones.

17

Hi again everyone. I keep checking in here, I don’t have any other family members besides my mom and she’s asleep and probably tire of talking about her ex-husband

All these posts mean so much

To answer the question I don’t have enough money to go out more than once. When he passes I’ll beg everyone I know for plane ticket money and hope someone can get me at the Airport

If anyone on here likes to chat and has some sort of messenger I’ll text with you. I think I have aol and yahoo. PM me and hopefully we could talk, I’m a good listener if you have anything you’d like to talk about.

18

My dad died of liver cancer, I’m fuzzy on the details because we were estranged. It either started in his lungs and went to his liver or vice versa. (He smoked and was an alcoholic, so flip a coin.) IIRC he found out in the spring and died in November. This was without chemo or radiation, though; it was too far gone.

When the time comes you can probably get a Bereavement Fare; it’ll help get you home for the funeral. If you have to stay in a hotel, TELL THEM why you’re there. When my mom died earlier this year I ended up in a Days Inn and the desk clerk took one look at me and flat out asked if I was in town for a funeral and they ended up giving me a discount on my room the entire time I was there. Days Inn has me as a customer for life now.

Get home ASAP. Take the tape recorder. I’d give nearly anything to hear my mother’s voice again. Go home and tell your dad everything you’ve always wanted to tell him and ask him the things you’ve been afraid to ask.

I think the pain of losing a parent is the same whether you lose them suddenly or you know it’s coming. As someone who lost a parent out of the blue, I can tell you this – you’ve been given a heads up, and you need to take advantage of it.

19

The tape recorder is a big deal to me, maybe I only get 30 minutes of talk but I’ll pull out as much as I can.

Thank you for the hotel advice I’ll ask them about that ( hope they don’t need to be passed on for that). Was just looking at
Car rental and not having a credit
Card is difficult. Found a few places
That take debit cards but put a 2 week hold on $500 for the deposit, so that will be frustrating.

20

I would think typically yes BUT it definitely can’t hurt to let them know you’re in town to visit your seriously ill father and ask if you can have a discount. The worst thing they can do is say no.