My husband and I are trying to get pregnant (we’re 33, it’s about time). We waited until we were financially stable until we made the decision, but we aren’t in a position where we can buy a house right now. We live in an apartment on the first floor of a nice complex and I was wondering if anyone has any experience having an infant in an apartment or any neighbors with infants.
I’m worried that we’ll be “the noisy neighbors with the colicy baby” and I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, but we also don’t want to have to wait oodles of years before we have a down payment (or wait until his aunt dies–also oodles of years!*). I’m not getting any younger and I want to do this while I’m relatively young, to lessen the chance of complications.
Any opinions would be great. Thanks.
*Aunt lives in a house that is owned by my husband and his sisters and their dad made a deal that she can live there until death. Due to a family “incident” years ago, they will be glad when she dies. Harsh, I know. She’ll be one of those people who sticks around out of spite.
We have two small children in an apartment, one of whom was an infant less than 5 years ago. We’ve had no problem with it at all. Babies take up very little space.
I think the American attitude that having kids means you must have a house is bizarre. Millions of kids have been raised in apartments. If you lived in many perfectly prosperous European countries it probably wouldn’t even occur to you to ask this question.
As for the noise, I think the neighbors will survive. Even colicy babies are quiet most of the time, and they tend not to have powerful, wall-vibrating bass components, which is more than I can say for a lot of adult neighbors I’ve had. Your landlords should be patting themselves on the back for attracting responsible tenants like you.
And babies are human beings, not “inconveniences.”
My apartment building was all nice and quiet until last Fall, when a family moved in below me. Now, whether I get to sleep straight through the night is up to the fates. I don’t even think either kid is an infant, but I could set my clock to his midnight crying fits. Plus, at least one kid is big enough to run around and, apparently, into the wall or something. All I know is, I hear loud thumps and bangs, accompanied by the floor shaking. I’ve never heard so much commotion from a downstairs neighbor.
That being said, I’m afraid you need to be selfish in this situation. Having a child is too important to be preempted by your neighbors’ comfort (or your relationship with them).
I’ve lived over a couple of new parents and their baby. Their snoring and loud stereo (with bass turned up so high it made my floor vibrate) bothered me more than the baby ever did!
We lived in a one bedroom apartment until my youngest was eighteen months old. We had to pay extra attention to childproofing, but we didn’t have any real problems. We never had a complaint about our son’t crying, and he had a hard time with colic.
Well, the fact that you care about others is great. I’m going to be in the same shoes you are right now.
I personally will wait until I have a house before having kids. The noise is worse than many dogs (and many buildings are against pets but not kids? That makes no sense to me).
My sister recently had a kid (2 months old now) and for the first month she was living with my mom and me. If I was a neighbour I’d have sent some nasty letters to the building super
BTW, we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with very thick walls yet I can hear my neighbour’s younger kids (probably 8 or 9) screaming once in a while when they fight (or whatever).
I haven’t had the experience of having a baby as a neighbor in an apartment. But I did once live downstairs from a family that included a girl who was big enough to run and jump around. She seemed to delight in jumping off the sofa, resulting in a nice “thud” when she landed. I think kids that age need to be taught not to do that.
You can discriminate against pets in housing for the simple reason that, not being human, they don’t get a lot of constitutional protections. Human beings tend to be looked after by fair housing laws and such.
Thanks for all your input guys. I especially appreciate peasea’s point of view–having lived through it, but realizing the importance of having a baby.
We once lived below a Chinese family who were in a two-bedroom–grandparents, parents and two toddlers (where did they all sleep?). I think the cultural differences are the reason that the kids aren’t being babysat by the TV. So they were always running around–REALLY LOUDLY!!! Running from room to room, jumping off the couch, etc. I’m surprised we got our deposit back with all of the divots in the ceiling from my broom! I’m all for kids not sitting in front of the TV and getting exercise, but that was excessive.
Luckily for us, we live in the downstairs apartment so we won’t have to worry about someone banging on our floor.
There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s part of life. There is no guarantee of silence in an apartment OR a home. Noise is noise. Kids is kids. People is people.
Most people have their first kids in apartments or other types of close-living arrangements. My son was born in an apartment and lived in one for quite some time. I don’t see this as an issue in any way, shape, or form. If you’re really worried about the noise factor, move to an apartment that has lots of kids around. No one cares.
Most children don’t damage the apartments like animals do. (Chewing, clawing, peeing on the carpet, etc.) At least I guess that’s the rationale behind pet prejudice.
I had my son while in an apartment, until he was 4 years old. There’s nothing wrong with it! Have you looked at renting houses, though? They can be almost as cheap as apartments.
We just had our first child and we live in a first floor apartment. I was worried at first , although I have found there is absolutely no reason to be. She does cry but the noise level really isn’t any louder than the neighbors stereo. I have talked to the neighbors and none of them have even heard her crying. I think what cornflakes said about childproofing will be your biggest worry. Best of luck!
Bottom line, you can’t put your life on hold because you don’t want to inconvenience the neighbors. There’s a difference between hearing a baby cry and hearing your neighbor’s stereo or TV or screaming fights with the spouse, and I think most apartment dwellers understand this. You are undoubtedly an awesome person for being so considerate of the people who live near you, but honestly, if they’re so uptight that the sound of a baby crying every once in a while drives them crazy, let them buy a house!
Incidentally, have you looked into what it would take to buy a house? It’s certainly a buyer’s market at present, and you might be surprised at how easy it would be to get a home. Hubby and I bought a house 18 months ago through the AmeriDream program, which put up the down payment for us. The result was that we got a great 3 bedroom 2 bath house with a large backyard for about a hundred dollars per month more than our 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment was costing us, and we actually left the closing with 1500 dollars in our pocket. No down payment required.
Wouldn’t the noise be determined by the way the apartment is built more than anything else? I lived in a place where the noiseproofing was so poorly done that you could hear people walking up the stairs, conversations in the apartment next door, and bedroom noises.
My current apartment is about as silent as a tomb. There is a family that lives across the hall with two kids that are maybe 6 or 7, and I only hear them if I’m in the hall. I can’t even hear my neighbor’s loud music unless I’m in the hall.
I live in an apartment. My neighbor (adjacent to us, paper thin walls) had a home birth. Now THAT was LOUD. After that, the baby cried all the time. I mean ALL THE TIME! We heard the parents trying to soothe her, but she still cried. We dubbed her “Angry Baby”. We heard it all, (i think we heard the conception, too) but, we didn’t really mind. They were also very considerate to all os us neighbors. They personally came to each place and told us that she was having a home birth, so not to be alarmed. (we were anyway! especially me.) Then they gave us all birth notices. Very sweet. Still - waaahhh! waaahhh! oh well. It’s part of life. Like I said, we didn’t really mind, and tough! to the people who did. There are places designed specifically for people who don’t want to live around children.
I am also 33. I am also ready to try and have a baby. !(excited)! I also plan on living in my apartment for the next few years. It is part of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, to do both. dag nabbit.
You know Nutty I’ve been reading this thread and there is a lot of sound advice in it. I am 34 and my wife is 33, we had the means a few years ago to buy a nice home and some land. We are currently trying to get pregnant and dealing with all that comes with that…
I would urge you to look into the different incentives they have for buying a new home. Off the top of my head I’m thinking that if your husband is partial owner of the house your aunt is in than why not use the equity in it to get a mortgage on new home. Frankly, you do not need to get into the ins and outs of your situation, but the market right now is very much geared to people just like you. And it would certainly behoove you to look into the options of owning.
If it is a credit problem affecting you, or your wont of having a down payment…those things take a considerable amount of time in normal circumstances.
And wouldn’t it be nice to take away the stress of worrying about other people in an appartment, and concentrate on a little guy or gal zooming around a house? Protected by a lawn where they can mingle with some grass and trees? Visit any financial councelor or real estate planner and see what they have to say. If you say you want to be in a home in a year, they’ll get it done with hopefully little to no inconvenience. Good luck with getting pregnant…and hopefully with a new house.
Don’t annoy them - involve them! When baby is born, have a party showing off the baby. When theyl hear the baby crying, they’ll remember the sweet bundle shown them at the party, and go, “Ahhh…”.
And keep them involved. Chat with them and bring up baby-related issues, “Gus, sorry about the noise last night, <baby’s name> blah blah blah”. Having lived in flats, IME most people have a serious soft spot about children and if they know what’s going on, they’ll understand and tolerate.
Of course, you must show equal toleration when the neighbours have a child.
Ok…yes, it is alot easier to buy a home then most people think. Unfortunately, it is not a buyer’s market. People who are not in the real estate business (as I am) think it’s a buyer’s market because the interest rates are low. Unfortunately, that means the prices of houses are sky-high right now. Try to think of it this way - if you buy a $200,000 house right now with an interest rate of 5.5% your mortgage payment is similar to you buying that same house for $160,000 with an interest rate of 8% a few years from now. If you buy a house with a 5.5% rate - you can’t ever really go lower - that’s it - that’s your mortgage payment for the rest of your life. If you wait and buy when the rates are higher, then you can lower your mortgage payment a few years down the road when the rate drops again by refinancing. Another plus to buying when the rates are higher and the prices are lower - resale. If you buy a house now, it will be at least another 15 years before prices are high enough for you to sell, make a profit, and buy a bigger house. If you buy in a low market, it’s only a few years until you can sell to make a profit and move up to a bigger house. (If that’s what you want - if you plan to stay in a house for the next 30 years and the mortgage payment w/ today’s market prices and rates are comfortable for you, then go for it!!)
Now that everyone has had a lesson in real estate - lol - my hubby and I are also trying to conceive in an apartment. I was born and raised in an apartment, and I think I turned out pretty well Granted, I don’t plan on raising my children in an apartment, but having them live in an apartment for a few years while waiting for the real estate market to go down is ok by me. Hope this helps!
