I know there are a fair number of dopers living with varying degrees of mental illness, people who have found ways to cope quite well with their personal disorders. My question centers around how you see yourself, and how you perceive the world sees you. I’m reading a book called The Secret , by Rhonda Byrne. It outlines the theory of attraction, not the way we feel about a lover, but the way we bring things into our lives through the way we feel.
I personally, believe that what is happening on my own personal outside, is directly connected to what is going on within my own self. I have a family member who is dealing with a deep depression, she goes through periods of severe manic episodes followed by periods of jubilant highs. She has recently been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder, and is taking life one step at a time.
See has for many years been concerned with how others feel about her, and how that feeling translates to their perceptions of her. I remind her that she only be concerned about her own beliefs, and not those of others.
This is easier said than done and I have been rethinking my stance on the subject.
My question is: What is your opinion of what others feel about you, and how does this translate into how you act.
Do you believe what you feel on the inside effects what is going on around you? How so, or how not?
Of course. Unless we are robots, our feelings affect how we act, and how we act affects what’s going on around us. Obviously if we are interacting with others, there’s an effect. But even if we’re not, we affect our environment in some way, either by action or inaction.
I’ve been mulling your questions over for a while now and I must admit that I have not felt so detached from the real world in a very long time. Because I can not for the life of me begin to understand them. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to wander a bit., maybe it’ll help? Read what you want into my post, I’m “symptomatic” today.
Do you mean: do I care what others feel about me? Yes. Or what do I think others feel about me? ApathyAmbivalence, never a definable friend/foe relationship. I know that most of what I do is a reaction to what I believe is going on around me, which may or may not be a true perception of reality. I believe that I can push people away by withdrawing into myself, but I also believe I can push them away by attempting to interact. Same effect, two totally different causes so, no, in my heart I really think the world just kind of happens around me. Any affect I have on it is superficial.
Knowing I’m sick clarifies things a little bit, at least I know my perception is whacked and can shift my behavior to follow pre-described responses to stimuli (Yeah, it really does feel that unnatural) when I identify an episode coming on. I don’t like it, but it helps me to keep from wrecking what little of my life I can control.
Cyclic. (Not necessariliy in the bipolar sense, probably just cyclic like the stock market):
Feel like I’m connecting with people better. More confidently. That people like me.
Feel special, unusually wise, as people notice this they really want to know me better.
Something happens — usually observing other people connecting in some way that doesn’t happen for me. Get all morose: no one is ever going to want that from or with me, etc etc.
Get all blasé about being different, accepting it for good and for bad. It’s who I am.
Hermit phase, all caught up in “mad lib” and being glad to be different, don’t like other people and their silly cow ways.
Get lonely. Don’t want to be different from how I am, but tired of being cut off and alone.
No, no, you’ve answered the question brilliantly. For me, agoraphobia comes to mind, the debilitating illness of not wishing to be around anyone at any time. Not leaving the house, being more than a little uncomfortable in social situations. Would ones perception of what others are thinking of them really affect the way they see the world? Human perception is an oft understudied side of psychology. In my opinion it is a necessary component of human behaviour that deserves much more study. Only recently have I been getting away from the more academic studies and journal Articles and into a more spiritual side of things…Thus the book I referenced above.
My opinion is that others think there is something wrong with me and that I’m a baffling freakish deviation from a normal human being. I tend to respond to this opinion by avoiding drawing attention to myself in whatever way I can. People are terrifying because they can judge you and hurt you, or they can pretend they’re on your side and betray you, or they can think they love you when really they don’t.
My response to this is equally irrational. Nothing I feel could ever possibly matter and is ultimately piddling and insignificant. Sometimes my anxiety can really fuck up my ability to function and indirectly impact others and my environment, so in a way yes. And I think my depression definitely impacts my husband.
Huh. I’m not sure I really understand the question.
Sorry for the darkness, I’m having a high-anxiety day.
