Lois Lane vs. Lana Lang

Now that the Betty vs. Veronica vs. Midge thread seems to be slowing down, it’s time to get another battle of the comic babes started. This one’s the oldest battle of them all.

Simply enough, it’s the brunette vs. the redhead, the feisty newspaper reporter vs. the loyal TV reporter. In the interest of fairness I’ll even allow write-ins for Lois’ sister Lucy (the blonde) and Linda Lee (the young Supergirl in a brown wig)

I vote for Lana. There’s something about that red hair.

Are we talking the WB cartoon? Because I’d do any of them.

Especially Supergirl.

The red hair is hot, but she’s a shrew. Superman, back in one issue in the mid '70s (gad! I got that off the newsstands) called her a “magpie” who only wanted the prestige of being Mrs. Superman and he wanted her out of his life. (It was pretty shocking to see Superman get that truly pissed at someone. If you care, I can dig up the issue and quote the relevant bit: He really savages her)

Lois is smart, sexy (especially if she’s Kurt Schaffenburger’s version in that sexy pill-box hat and Jackie Kennedy outfit. Yowza! Or Elliot S! Maggin’s version from the novels), classy and witty.

Lucy was dull. Jimmy only dated her because he wanted to be Superman’s brother-in-law anyway.

Linda Lee by Jim “I draw her naked and then draw the costume” Mooney was hot. But she’s too young. I don’t care about the Mary Tyler Moore “All grown up and on her own” Supergirl, she was boring. But Jim Mooney’s Supergirl is too young. Only a cad would date her.

I’m going with Lois.

(By the way, you left out Lighting Lass (aka Light Lass) (too young), Lori Lemaris (too amphibian, but sexy from the scales up) and Lyla Lerrol (too dead) and Laura Lor-Van (too Oedipal) …I’m still going with Lois)


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I used to root for the redhead.
Of course, now it seems to me that Clark & Lois were supposed to get married all along.

Oh, you mean for myself? Hmmmm… Let’s say while I like the smart, urban brunette, I sympathize with the small-town redhead. But it depends on the version. Lana post-1985 is a whole new ball o’ wax. And I really liked Lori Lemaris. That whole exotic thing…

Eh. Actually, I have a thing for the old Wonder Girl, Donna Troy. Or Supergirl–as Kara, not as Linda Lee. Or Kitty Pryde.

Apparently I like women who walk on air.

Oh, yes. Fenchurch from So Long and Thank You for the Fish. My perfect woman.

Eh. I got that title wrong. So Long and Thanks for All the Fish.

Or Aspen Matthews from Fathom–the comic book, not the message board. I could go on.

But seriously, in the old days, there was little difference between Lois & Lana. Lana was the Lois Lane character in Superboy, then they brought her into Clark’s adult life–as a co-worker/reporter. Basically, Lana just had cooler hair.

What, are you kidding? Lori Lemaris is the best looking one of the whole bunch, and she’s got that whole " amphibious versatility" thing to boot!


[sup][sub]I can’t believe I just posted that.[/sub][/sup]

I don’t know…you’d be dependent on blow jobs, and you’d have to stand in cold sea water up to your belly button even for THAT. I’ll defer to the icthyologists about the possibilities of depositing in Lori’s egg sac.

Fenris seems to like the same early-60s Lois Lane that Eve expressed a preference for in a thread some months ago. I disagree. I hated that little flip of a hairdo, the gauntish features, and the HORRIBLE orangey shirt-dress she always seemed to be wearing: the one that all the Bizarro Loises were doomed to occupy for eternity.

I liked the late-60s/early-70s Lois, when the DC art department tarted her up a little. She wore those peasant blouses and polyester hot-pants very well.

Lana, even with the sexy red hair, never did anything for me. Supergirl, on the other hand, her I’d spank with a kryptonite mitten.