fatmac98, I don’t know exactly whose posts convinced you of all that. You couldn’t have read mine very carefully. What a good doula can do is free up all three of those people to do what they do best.
OK, here goes. . .
This is all I had time to quote right now. Almost everyone in this thread that advocates this service insinuates that the husband is not strong enought to handle it, the nurses are stretched to thin, and that Doctors can’t wait to just break out the scalpel.
Well, yeah, most dads could probably deliver the baby on the bathroom floor and bite through the cords with their teeth, if they had to. But that’s not really the point. It’s not boot camp, it’s childbirth. As far as I’m concerned, when I’m in labor I want plenty of people around to help me, particularly people with lots of practical experience of what I’m going through. Anyone who has ego issues and is going to feel slighted if they don’t get enough lines in the play can just go read a magazine in the waiting room.
From our personal perpective, my husband loved having the doulas. In fact, he was the one who suggested getting one the second time around.
I think part of the problem is that we develop mental scripts for these things. The bad old script was mom getting whipped off to delivery under deep sedation, while dad paces outside. The new script is mom propped up in the homey delivery room with dad holding her hand and nattering on expertly about cleansing breaths and focal points.
We just chose not to buy into either of those scripts and go for the more experienced help, the better approach.
I thank everyone for the opinions so far. My best conclusions to date (from here and other sources are):
1 - I haven’t found any stories of negative doula experiences however I’m not certain of the causality. Are people who hire doulas already predisposed to find the experience better with a doula. (I will add that I have come across stories where the first birth without a doula was a somewhat negative experience and where it was much better with a doula. Once again, causality is unclear and as I understand it, each pregnancy/childbirth experience for the same woman can be very different).
2 - The people who haven’t used a doula perhaps have selected out those who might consider it a negative experience.
3 - There is some statistical evidence that use of a doula can reduce interventions. Once again, casuality is unclear to me. Are the people who choose doulas already typically less in favour of interventions and have done their research beforehand. I would imagine those who hire doulas are generally more willing to challenge some of the suggested interventions or at a minimum are going to ask questions about a proposed intervention to fully understand the pros and cons. (Although one does not have to have a doula to take that approach).
4 - The big area of debate is almost exactly the main thing I’m trying to understand … how much does a doula take the father’s role or take away from the father’s experience. The answers vary based on people’s opinions but so far I haven’t heard any stories from any men who say that the doula lessened their experience.
I’m still interested in opinions but I’m summarizing my learnings to date.
(As for my doctor - he’s not an OB/GYN but a family doctor who, as I understand it, was midwife trained in the UK. I’ve come to discover that he’s delivered many of my friend’s kids (he’s been at it for 20 years) and many of these people are rather earthy. From what they tell me, he is low intervention so when he does propose something he means it and he will bring in the best specialists in the hospital if need be. I have an appt next week, so I will ask his opinion on doula’s.
I’m planning to approach the birth as relaxed as can be (famous last words I’m sure but right now I don’t see any need to be nervous) and I believe the more relaxed I can be, the easier it will go. Also I understand that my bellydancing experience (which I am continuing to do) may help with the whole birthing process. And I will be taking classes which I believe incorporate some of the Bradley approach among others.)
Whoops I mean WE are signed up to take classes!
Oh, Bradley classes are great!
I took my class 7 years ago, and based on what I learned ther (and a bunch of other contributing factors) I have since given birth to 4 beautiful babies in a very natural (no medications or interventions) way.
Best of luck to you!
P.S. I didn’t ever have a doula, but the women I know who did are much more likely to say they got the kind of birth they wanted.
[bit of a hijack]I’m pregnant with my first child and some of the views that people have here of their OB/GYNs are a bit scary. I do understand that a doula is there for the entire period but some posters have said that OB/GYNs are quite uncaring. I don’t believe that all of them are that way for a minute. I’ve already had several discussions with my doctor about what I want and what may or may not be possible (there are some concerns which might vaginal delivery but its soon to tell).
One other thing is that women’s birth experiences vary tremendously. My mother had natural childbirth (no choice) with all 5 of her children and her shortest labor was 18 hours-with 4 of her labors being between 36 and 24 hours. Although my mum is a strong advocate of natural stuff, her strong advice to all of us is not to have natural childbirth. I’m always amazed at some people who hold the view that natural childbirth is best for all women based solely on their own experiences.[/bit of a hijack]
There was WSJ article that presented a bit of a different view of doulas, it includes some of the negative experiences that come about either from an inexperienced doula or someone who is too convinced that they know better than the doctors. A reprint of the article can be seen here