Looking for serious help re: effective pain meds

Inspired by this thread about Vicodin…

I’m a freak of nature when it comes to pain meds. Codeine and vicodin make me seriously ill, right on the edge of anaphalaxis. Nothing else has any useful effect.

Percocet makes me itchy.
Ultram does nothing discernable.
Ibuprofen and aspirin eat my stomach.
Tylenol eats my liver.
Ketoprofen and Naprosyn eat my wallet.
Cannabis just made me eat. A touch giddy perhaps, but still hurting. (Tried it at the suggestion of my MD)

Other than a couple of joints, I’ve never done any illicit drugs.

What makes a person insensitive to the effects of painkillers? When I had a back injury seven years ago, I was given Flexeril and Percocet. I gamely ate the stuff for a month, on the belief that they’d be effective at a nearly sub-conscious level and help me heal. My back still hurt. It still does, seven years later. The state has long since declared me “permanent and stationary” and gave me a meager settlement and a pat on the head.

I’ve found that the only thing worth taking is a prescription from Dr. Jack Daniels. I tremble in fear of the idea of ever needing dental surgery. What other options do I have? And, how can I make a doctor not think I’m just a drug-seeker?

I’m being completely serious here, and hope this doesn’t decay into anything illegal. The pot is close enough, but this is California.

A good option would be to see your personal physician.
A bad option would be to seek medical advice from anonymous posters on a message board, like this one.

Locking thread.