I’m looking for the perfect drug. It must match the following criteria:
It must be legal in the US
It must make feel happy at all times
It must give me lots of energy
No dangerous side effects
No visible signs to others that I am on it
Non addictive
No dangerous mental side effects
Can still perfom my job
No sexual side effects
The closet I can get is No-Doz, but it cramps my stomach and makes me paranoid. Execdrin kicks ass too, but depending on when I take it, puts me right to sleep in a state of listlessness.
Sorry, hippies, but “Get high on life” will not do.
"One that won’t make me nervous, wondering what to do!
"One that makes me feel like I feel when I’m with you–
“When I’m alone with you!”
OK, now that I’ve dated myself–I’m afraid you’re probably out of luck. I’d say caffeine probably comes the closest, although it fails partially on several and completely on others (namely #6).
And since when have hippies been “getting high on life”? There were still plenty of drugs at the last Phish show I went to.
How about epinephrine (a.k.a. adrenaline)? It’s produced by your body so it’s fairly safe (all-natural and designed specifically for your body) and would be impossible to make illegal. I’m fairly sure that hospitals carry it (they take a big syringe of it and stab heart attack victims in the heart with it if their heart needs a major jumpstart. I suppose it would be addictive, though (as in adrenaline junkies doing extreme sports). Epinephrine is freakin’ powerful, too. The human body produces less than 20mg (maybe even 10mg) of it over the course of a lifetime. A dose of 1mg might kill you; now THAT’S a powerful drug!
Of course, I could be completely in the wrong about this…
Betel Nut. Means you’d have to go shopping in the Asian or Pacific markets nearest you. Also, depending on how you take it, might look like you were chewing some kind of red tobacco, if you figure that violates #5.
I think taking adrenaline recreationally would probably be an exceptionally bad idea, especially if your family has any history of heart problems. It would probably fail to meet your criteria 3-5, 8. Maybe if you worked out the right dosage, though…
Having a heart arhythmia, I myself would be a fool to take it without a EMS person handy with a defibrillator.
Input from anyone who has taken this for kicks?
She does have a point, though I am agreeing with her for a somewhat different reason that you all might imagine.
There is no one drug that will satisfy all of your criteria. That’s why people keep looking for (and finding) new ones.
Plus, I think Ashley’s regimen just might violate criterion #6, “Must be non-addictive”. Since a healthy diet and lifestyle is only effective if followed consistently, one could argue that it is “addictive”. Unless “you can stop any time you want to?” …
No offense, Ashley, I’m just try to be humorous, I’m not impugning your lifestyle. I live pretty much the same way – except for the 9 hours of sleep thing. Sometimes that a tough one.
It is available over the counter… Have you ever heard of Primatine Mist? Read the label.
There are side effects… Increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, etc. Basically, what you are doing is artificially inducing the body’s flight or fight response. This has its advantages if you use it for legitimate short term use, but it can cause long term problems if it is overused.
Yeah, a couple of puffs of Primatene will get you feeling somewhat high for a short period of time. I wouldn’t do too much, I saw a guy once inhale about 15 puffs and he started freaking out and said he was having a heart attack. He lived, but he probably won’t do it again.
What does this ‘Betel Nut’ do, exactly?
You can get REALLY messed up on nutmeg, but it’s not something you would be able to work on and the trip it sends you on often lasts more than 24 hours and can be quite unpleasant.
