An associate sent an email out to several people we both know that I’d like to send a response to, but my best response deems sort of lame. Was hoping some of you could come up with great replies that will put him in his place. Here it is:
I’m not really that witty but my response would be to hit “Reply all” and provide this link: ICE Badges | Snopes.com and then say “If you want to send this recycled, narrow-minded garbage to your mailing list please do me a favor and remove me from it. It’s not the least bit informative, productive or clever and it disappoints me to see you spread it like herpes. Have a great day!”
In the works of facebook:
“I’d rather live with immigrants than racist assholes”
like.
I don’t have a witty reply for you, but the (probably fake as hell) idea that immigrants might want to sing our national anthem in Spanish quite literally brought a tear to my eye. Seriously, who would object to that?
Yup, I vote you write back with some variation of, “Texas ingenuity my ass, they stole that idea from some guys in Nuh Yalk Seedee”
First of all, they might want to update themselves from INS to ICE, which sounds like it’ll change here shortly anyway to HSI. State it in a way that implies they know nothing about their own country or that they can’t even speak English.
This is going to be a tough one. The way the anecdote is written, it’s tough to say that they were intentionally being racist, and it was done in good cause (to stop people from littering.) On first read, I would say that the anecdote is fictional. I would question the fact that illegals would litter to such a degree that the neighborhood would notice, especially on a construction site, because a) litter could interfere with the construction, b) usually, construction sites have a relatively large surrounding area, c) a government agency would give permission for this, and d) illegals, who probably know more about ICE operations than average folks, would be fooled by a bunch of old people wearing only the cap and shorts/sneakers who were picking up trash.
Imho, just about the only thing snark-able here is the Texas arrogance. My response would be something along the lines of: Congratulations! This might be the first time ever that “Texas ingenuity” didn’t come out of the muzzle of a gun, a lynching, the gas chamber, or a fag drag! Heil Texas! er, Hail Texas!
“I didn’t think Texans were smart enough to pick up litter. Isn’t that why people have to hire the illegals?”
Well, you might ask why they named their organization after a federal agency that hasn’t existed for seven years. And lied about contacting the INS, of course - since it no longer exists (it’s now ICE and USCIS).
PASS IT ON within the next 10 minutes and receive as your free gift this genuine white hood.
Actually, the original e-mail used Washington, DC. So they are celebrating Washington Ingenuity, even worse! 
I would like to take a moment to apologize on behalf of racist Texans everywhere. Those assholes are really giving the rest of us a bad name. Sometimes I feel like this state is going to hell.
RNATB’s suggestions manages to be both snarky and informative, so that one gets my vote. Maybe add a few jpegs of people holding misspelledprotest signsabout how English should be our only langage.
I vote for a response including the Snopes link. Don’t waste your wit on these fools.
About the Star Spangled Banner:
(Wikipedia includes cites.)
While we’re on the topic, can anyone tell me why it’s such a big deal to “press 1 for English”?
Well if it were actually real I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I have nothing against immigrant workers but litterers are the scum of the Earth and deserve everything they get.
I think they became birthers then tea baggers.
“If you think uninvited immigrants should go back home, the Native Americans will help us pack up our stuff.”
A paraphrase of one of my all-time favorite political cartoons.
Thanks Superhal, I know. I guess I was just asking why they don’t realize how stupid they sound. I mean, why would anyone actually CARE about pressing 1 for English? If it’s one of those computerized calls they’re going to have to press 1 for* something* anyway. They’re being told to feel angry. It’s already known that people started getting annoyed with the computerized help center calls, so they’re basically playing off that annoyance with giving people a common enemy. They have people convinced that there’s something wrong with providing services in other languages. They don’t realize it’s just good business sense. And they always bring up how the “official language” is English which probably every person on this board knows is an outright lie. No cite will satisfy them when you point this out. Pure ignorance, which breeds this ethnocentric nativism disguised as patriotism.
I swear I have had it up to my neck with Facebook “friends”. I’ve been so disappointed in people I thought I knew. Every day I get to see how my sweet aunt “likes” “KILL ALL THE ILLEGALS AND LET GOD SORT THEM OUT!” or “SEPT 11 IS NATIONAL BURN THE KORAN DAY!” or how my high school friend puts out a link about how we should all support the repeal of the 14th Amendment to end this terrible scourge of anchor babies. I am not exaggerating. Every day I get something like this.