Negative contractions are allowed; it’s the positive ones that aren’t. So you can say aren’t and don’t and won’t and can’t, but you can’t say I’ll and she’s and they’ve. Weird and annoying. I have to do a search for every apostrophe whenever I finish one of their idiotic jobs and make sure no positive contractions have snuck in there. Because they usually manage to no matter how hard I try.
stoopit governmink
That is weird and bizarre and arbitrary. I think I’ll establish that rule in my writing classes. 
It couldn’t get any worse. I’m tempted to start giving out essays like: “Write 500 words on any subject you like, without using the letter ‘e’ once.” Or, “Write an essay that uses the word ‘banana’ in every other sentence.”
Aaaaand Gaudere strikes again! 
With a double play!!
Haze, thanks for the tip. I’ll try Kiki’s Delivery Service next.
So wait!. . . now you want Teh Sick?! You’re hard to please.
::sneaking a grope::
gt, check out Spirited Away first. You’ll be hooked. The scenery is just beautiful. He takes beautiful scenes like the ocean and waterfalls and makes them more beautiful in animation.
I’m with you, LOUNE baby. No pumpkin pie for me. That stuff is foul. Go ahead. Start some trouble. I got your back. 
Mork, OK, Okay. So here’s my rule. Okay is OK as long as you realize that okay sounds formal and archaic. So if you don’t mind sounding formal and stuffy, okay is OK. Okay? 
**
Mamatigs**, glad you’re getting your drugs today. Does that mean no more grumpiness. . . . ever?!
Good morning everyone! Yeah, I’m up. . .but that’s about it. ::thinking about going back to bed::
Naah, we’re not producing these immortal words for the governmink. That I know of, anyway. :eek:
You wish! (Or, actually, probably Papa Tigs wishes. And snowbunny. And the Idiots. And the idiots I work for. And…well, you get the idea. )
I’ve had my flu shot for the year, and still I don’t get groped. :: pouts ::
MomTigs, the government standard for technical writing and contract legalese is just as bad. Passive voice and ‘shall’ reign supreme. IMAO, the passive voice should not be used, and ‘shall’ belongs on the linguistic compost heap with ‘thee’ and ‘thou’.
I’ll probably be safe if I use proper protection…
knocks over a lamp
There! That’s only the beginning of trouble!
*Now * you’ve done it! Go to your room, young man!
And you’ll go there in 5 minutes, just to make sure he hasn’t sneaked out, right!? :dubious:
We know your little tricks!
depends on whether or not I can convince Lucretia Hellcat to stand guard (looks over at dogbutler)
eta: besides, if you’re not in there with us, what fun is that
Let me tell you, US law firms are no better than the US government. English and Australian lawyers made a huge push towards “Plain English” in law (and legal documents) back in the late 80’s - early 90’s, with the end result being that nowadays the contracts we draft and work with are much easier to understand and unravel (at least for us lawyers) - “shall” replaced with “will” and run-on sentences split down into easier-to-follow list format. On the other hand, US firms still seem determined to stick to using archaic language and as few punctuation tools as possible, with many sentences running for half a page or more. It makes reading, reviewing, analysing and amending draft contracts a real PITA!
Pumpkin pie is good, but only if served warm and drowned in whipped cream. I still think it’s tasty, but not as mouth-wateringly delicious as it is warm from the oven! And the only reason I know anything about PP is because my parents spent 3 years living in British Columbia in the 60’s, when they first got married (if my father had had his way, we would all be Canadians, but Mum insisted on going home once she got pregnant with my oldest sister). Anyhoo, PP is good.
Speaking of yummy things starting with the letter P, I found a delightful recipe for Coffee and Pecan Sauce (to put on pancakes or waffles, or whatever) and immediately thought of Bbbobbio’s fallen nuts! Let me know if you want the linky.
Okay, off to finish making my Meatball Stroganoff.
:whaps LOUNE in the gut with a (small) Jack-o-Lantern:
I’ll stand guard for you, rosie. Go for it!!
(Well, I can’t help you with that last part, though.)
ties Dotty’s shoelaces and knots them up
OK, I’ll join you in there…
Roo, don’t you want to join us? Get somebody else to stand guard.
But if all of us are in there, why do we need a guard? What are we guarding against?!
Where does the wild goose go?
About 3 inches off center
Eh-it’s not my favorite, either. I like pumpkin muffins, though. And homemade pumpkin seeds.
I am very :mad: right now. I got a bill from a COLLECTION AGENCY for $3.54 that I paid on 9/14–and it cleared on 9/19. I was not pleasant about it. (I was not rude to the poor schlub who has to field these calls, though). Morons.
Will read later. Am in a funk re the weekend and now this. Have you ever had someone say something to you that just jars you and then you can’t stop thinking about it, but if you bring it up, you’ll look petty? That’s where I am. Ugh.
To paraphrase Garrison K. - Pumpkin pie is a vehicle for Cool Whip. Not whipped cream. It has to be Cool Whip, spooned out of the bowl. No substitutions allowed!
Not sure if my latest escapade in the garage will yeild a supra-orbital scar or not. I bonked myself in the forehead with a crowbar on Sunday night while cleaning the previous owner’s randomly-scattered nails out of the walls. Being a scalp wound, naturally, it started bleeding like I’d torn the aorta. Worse, it mixed in with sweat, so my whole head was suddenly very red. The injury itself is all of a quarter-inch long.
Our new garage door and opener are spiffy. No more worrying if the truck is too close to the door and needing to back it up so we can open the door on Wednesday night to put out the trash, then close the door and bring the truck back into the driveway. And no more bonking our heads on the low-flying opener. Yay!
Aside from that, we’re now in de-dusting season. The Renaissance Faire is over and it’s time to clean things up - our coolers look vile, and our truck is theoretically red, but you can’t tell under all the dust and mud. Time to start scrubbing!