I heard this to the tune of
Standing in line at the grocery store,
Wondering what the world is for,
Standing in line at the grocery store,
Wondering what the world is for,
My eyes fell on a Hello!,
Standing in line at the grocery store,
Wondering what the world is for,
My eyes fell on a Hello!,
And I felt so much more mellow
Standing in line at the grocery store,
Wondering what the world is for.
My eyes fell on a ‘Hello!’
And I felt so much more mellow -
'Twas Lionel R, mounting Eva Gabor.
There once was a Judge at Old Bailey,
There once was a Judge at Old Bailey,
Whose penis was withered and scaly
There once was a Judge at Old Bailey,
Whose penis was withered and scaly
So he procured some ointment
There once was a Judge at Old Bailey,
Whose penis was withered and scaly
So he procured some ointment
By special appointment
[P.S. It’s the Old Bailey]
There once was a Judge at Old Bailey,
Whose penis was withered and scaly
So he procured some ointment
By special appointment
And cross examined his weiner twice daily
A soldier was cleaning his gun
A soldier was cleaning his gun
At the river, when passed by a nun.
A soldier was cleaning his gun
At the river, when passed by a nun.
He barked, “Good day, Sister!”
A soldier was cleaning his gun
At the river, when passed by a nun.
He barked, “Good day, Sister!”
And that really pissed her,
I’m quite aware it’s ‘The Old Bailey’. I’m also mindful that Limericks are meant to scan rhythmically. (Try it, aloud, with the ‘the’ included).
A soldier was cleaning his gun
At the river, when passed by a nun.
He barked, “Good day, Sister!”
And that really pissed her,
For the soldier was this sister’s son.
Last night when I tried counting sheep,
A soldier was cleaning his gun
At the river, when passed by a nun.
He barked, “Good day, Sister!”
And that really pissed her,
For, he’d just slaughtered her village for fun
A tugboat was docking in Portland,
my bad, didn’t see that one was completed already
Last night when I tried counting sheep,
wide awake and yearning for sleep,
[spoiler]
To be fair, it does scan rhythmically. *[Long analysis of the rhythm of the limerick form follows…]
*
The limerick form is five verse lines but it fits into a standard four bar musical structure. The first, second and fifth verse lines are each one bar in length, while the third and fourth lines are half a bar each.
The beats are in triplets, so three notes to each beat. Here is the four-line (musical) structure. ( | separates each beat, - notes are silent).
123 | 456 | 78(9) | — |
123 | 456 | 78(9) | — |
123 | 456 | 123 | 456 |
123 | 456 | 78(9) | — |
The 9th note/syllable of the 1st, 2nd and 5th lines is optional as to whether it is spoken.
The rhythm of each triplet beat can be developed or syncopated by adding additional notes/syllables.
For example if you say out loud:
1 , 2 , 3
(“one, two, three”)
Then add an “and” in between each note, like so:
1 & 2 & 3 &
(“one and two and three and”)
Now you have six notes/syllables to each beat.
That’s now probably a bit crowded/fast (the rhythm having doubled in speed).
Therefore if we add only one “and” we can create a syncopated beat, i.e. one which breaks up the rhythm.
Such as
1 , 2 & 3
(“one, two and three”)
Here, we’ve added one note/syllable to the triplet beat, so now there are four notes/syllables on a single beat. The position of the “and” can be moved within the beat to create three variations.
Try speaking these Da’s and Ra’s aloud. This is the limerick’s 1st/2nd/5th verse line basic rhythmic structure:
Da Ra Da | Da Ra Da | Da Ra Da | (X) (X) (X) |
Here are the three syncopated variations, using the same pattern for each beat:
Dira Da Ra | Dira Da Ra | Dira Da Ra | (X) (X) (X) |
Da Dira Da | Da Dira Da | Da Dira Da | (X) (X) (X) |
Da Ra Dira | Da Ra Dira | Da Ra Dira | (X) (X) (X) |
Here’s an example with a different variation on each beat:
Dira Da Ra | Da Dira Da | Da Ra Dira | (X) (X) (X) |
Then you can add an additional 5th note/syllable within each beat by adding another “and”.
So then for each beat there’d be another three variations:
Dira Da Dira |
Da Dira Dira |
Dira Dira Da |
So, overall, there are eight permutations on each beat:
one 3-note/syllable permutation,
three 4-note/syllable permutations,
three 5-note/syllable permutations and
one 6-note/syllable permutation
There’s no obligation to use the same number of notes/syllables for every beat in a verse line. So theoretically there are a lot of permutations, although some will sound better than others.
The less syllables used, the more elegant the lyrical rhythm is, I would say. But that doesn’t mean it should be adhered to at the expense of the overall effect of the limerick, which includes the literary content. I’m musically-trained myself, so maybe I find it easier to fit the words into a rhythm in my head. I think I’ve managed to fit all the limerick lines I’ve read in this thread into a rhythm, although some I’ve had to re-read a few times!
So, anyway, the example in the limerick…
Version 1:
There once was | a Judge at | Old Bailey | (X) (X) (X) |
Da Ra Da | Da Ra Da | Da Ra Da | (X) (X) (X) |
Version 2:
There once was | a Judge (at the) | Old Bailey | (X) (X) (X) |
Da Ra Da | Da Ra Dira | Da Ra Da | (X) (X) (X) |
Works fine rhythmically.
I just pointed out the “the Old Bailey” thing for the “fighting ignorance” mission bit, as it isn’t right/doesn’t sound right and, in my opinion, there was no need to omit the “the” purely for scanning or rhythmical reasons.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]For the sake of accuracy, since it was late when I wrote my last post, the final syllable of the third and fourth verse lines can also be omitted.
123 | 456 | 78(9) | — |
123 | 456 | 78(9) | — |
123 | 45(6) | 123 | 45(6) |
123 | 456 | 78(9) | — |
So the minimum number of syllables that could be used would be eight for the 1st/2nd/5th lines and five for the 3rd/4th lines.[/spoiler]
Last night when I tried counting sheep,
wide awake and yearning for sleep,
But sleep never came.
Last night when I tried counting sheep,
wide awake and yearning for sleep,
But sleep never came
So I started a game