Loopy Limericks

Fred Philly had a rakish way
Of wearing a condom all day

Fred Philly had a rakish way
Of wearing a condom all day
The convenience was great

Fred Philly had a rakish way
Of wearing a condom all day
The convenience was great
But by a strange twist of fate

Fred Philly had a rakish way
Of wearing a condom all day
The convenience was great
But by a strange twist of fate
Fred’s willy rotted and fell away
There once was a man from Wrigleyville

There once was a man from Wrigleyville
Who thought short made love better than bigly will

There once was a man from Wrigleyville
Who thought short made love better than bigly will
He could do it for hours

There once was a man from Wrigleyville
Who thought short made love better than bigly will
He could do it for hours
With amazing powers

There once was a man from Wrigleyville
Who thought short made love better than bigly will
He could do it for hours
With amazing powers
And he kept them in a thrill.

Anna was looking for her lover

Anna was looking for her lover
A man who resembled Danny Glover

Anna was looking for her lover
A man who resembled Danny Glover
When she found him, alas,

Anna was looking for her lover
A man who resembled Danny Glover
When she found him, alas,
He’d already wed Hugh Jass

Anna was looking for her lover
A man who resembled Danny Glover
When she found him, alas,
He’d already wed Hugh Jass
He turned out to be quite a shover.

Dora Doe came from Baton Rouge

Dora Doe came from Baton Rouge
With her brother who was quite a stooge

Dora Doe came from Baton Rouge
With her brother who was quite a stooge
They went on Straight Dope

Dora Doe came from old Baton Rouge
With her brother who was quite a stooge
They went on the Straight Dope
But couldn’t quite cope

Dora Doe came from old Baton Rouge
With her brother who was quite a stooge
They went on the Straight Dope
But couldn’t quite cope
Since we saw right through their subterfuge
…
Mr. Wicket with his rectum prehensile

Mr. Wicket with his rectum prehensile
Which he wields like a kitchen utensil

Mr. Wicket with his rectum prehensile
Which he wields like a kitchen utensil.
He can open a jar

Mr. Wicket with his rectum prehensile
Which he wields like a kitchen utensil.
He can open a jar
Or the door of his car

Mr. Wicket with his rectum prehensile
Which he wields like a kitchen utensil.
He can open a jar
Or the door of his car
Or sharpen the point of a pencil.

Old Scrooge went Trick or Treating