Loopy Limericks

Thread Games
6750

My stools are painfully hard
My anus is worn and scarred
But good luck is with me today
I found me some Oil of Olay
To apply with a six-foot halbard

I lay her down on a silk sheet

6751

I lay her down on a silk sheet
As my pet birdie chirps her tweet

6752

I lay her down on a silk sheet
As my pet birdie chirps her tweet
It was romantic

6753

I lay her down on a silk sheet
As my pet birdie chirps her tweet
It was romantic
but then I grew frantic

6754

I lay her down on a silk sheet
As my pet birdie chirps her tweet
It was romantic
But then I grew frantic
When she flew right out of my suite

One rainy night I had some chow mein

6755

One rainy night I had some chow mein
while watching a documentary about pain

6756

One rainy night I had some chow mein
while watching a documentary about pain
I started to choke

6757

One rainy night I had some chow mein
while watching a documentary about pain
I started to choke
It was really no joke

6758

One rainy night I had some chow mein
while watching a documentary about pain
I started to choke
It was really no joke
I won’t order this dish again

I hate limericks that mess up their rhymes

6759

I hate limericks that mess up their rhymes
and it happens here so many times

6760

I hate limericks that mess up their rhymes
and it happens here so many times
No respect for the meter

6761

I hate limericks that mess up their rhymes
and it happens here so many times
No respect for the meter
And not enough peter

6762

I hate limericks that mess up their rhymes
and it happens here so many times
No respect for the meter
And not enough peter
When forced that’s the worst of all crimes

———————————-
There is a live duck in my lunchbox

6763

There is a live duck in my lunchbox
Bastard ate all my bagels and lox

6764

Then it crapped on my Twinkie

6765

There is a live duck in my lunchbox
Bastard ate all my bagels and lox
Then it crapped on my Twinkie
With a banana got kinky

6766

There is a live duck in my lunchbox
Bastard ate all my bagels and lox
Then it crapped on my Twinkie
With a banana got kinky
The weirdest thing’s that it wears socks
————————————
My sister thinks you have a cute nose

6767

My sister thinks you have a cute nose–
The sister who plays the bongos–

6768

My sister thinks you have a cute nose–
The sister who plays the bongos–
My brother plays flute

6769

My sister thinks you have a cute nose–
The sister who plays the bongos–
My brother plays flute,
And finds your feet cute.