Loopy Limericks

Said a nun, with a soul full of hope
"I will wash out that heathen’s mouth with soap
But the heathen was wiley
And lied low like O’Reilly
Til she showed him her slippery slope
In Texas they know how to wrangle

In Texas they know how to wrangle
A pretty boy and his friends from a tangle

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In Texas they know how to wrangle
A pretty boy and his friends from a tangle.
I know it sounds corny

[Oh quite the nice setup!]

In Texas they know how to wrangle
A pretty boy and his friends from a tangle.
I know it sounds corny
But when things get quite thorny

In Texas they know how to wrangle
A pretty boy and his friends from a tangle.
I know it sounds corny
But when things get quite thorny
It’s the tender bits caught in a mangle

Well, she said cocking a hip

Well, she said cocking a hip
You might like to loosen my slip.

Well, she said cocking a hip
You might like to loosen my slip.
So I let off her lines

Well, she said cocking a hip
You might like to loosen my slip.
So I let off her lines
Paid all her fines

Well, she said cocking a hip
You might like to loosen my slip.
So I let off her lines
Paid all her fines
Then giggled as she cracked her whip.

The steward, as Titanic was sinking

The steward, as Titanic was sinking
Was loath to cut down on his drinking

The steward, as Titanic was sinking
Was loath to cut down on his drinking
"If I’m going to drown,

The steward, as Titanic was sinking
Was loath to cut down on his drinking
“If I’m going to drown,
Have a smile not a frown”

The steward, as Titanic was sinking
Was loath to cut down on his drinking
“If I’m going to drown,
Have a smile not a frown”
And he sank into the water unblinking
As the friar came over for dinner

As the friar came over for dinner
He passed a notorious sinner

As the friar came over for dinner
He passed a notorious sinner
He offered a blessing,

As the friar came over for dinner
He passed a notorious sinner
He offered a blessing,
In the form of French dressing

As the friar came over for dinner
He passed a notorious sinner
He offered a blessing,
In the form of French dressing.
So we praise mayonnaise - it’s a winner!

All ballplayers once chewed tobaccy