The truth is, I really love dogs
My weird girlfriend, however, likes frogs
Her fave, Fred, is a singer
Green, but a dead-ringer
For Cher in a wetsuit and clogs.
Next year I’ll take up a new sport
Next year I’ll take up a new sport
Backhanding bats on a tennis court
Next year I’ll take up a new sport
Backhanding bats on a tennis court
I’ll raise a racket
Next year I’ll take up a new sport
Backhanding bats on a tennis court
I’ll raise a racket
if I can’t hack it
Next year I’ll take up a new sport
Backhanding bats on a tennis court
I’ll raise a racket
If I can’t hack it
Since my serves may fall a bit short
I once played on a curious golf course
I once played on a curious golf course
My caddie was a miniature horse
I once played on a curious golf course
My caddie was a miniature horse
The balls were glass
I once played on a curious golf course
My caddie was a miniature horse
The balls were glass
The hole was Trump’s ass
I once played on a curious golf course
My caddie was a miniature horse
The balls were glass
The hole was Trump’s ass
And they had to be driven with force
I whispered a secret to Mary
I whispered a secret to Mary
“I get the runs when I eat dairy”
I whispered a secret to Mary
“I get the runs when I eat dairy”
And forget whole milk
I whispered a secret to Mary
“I get the runs when I eat dairy”
And forget whole milk
If I don’t wipe with silk,
I whispered a secret to Mary
“I get the runs when I eat dairy”
And forget whole milk
If I don’t wipe with silk
My taint gets infected and scary
The reason I don’t eat in bed
The reason I don’t eat in bed
My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head
The reason I don’t eat in bed
My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head
She says "Wifely duties
The reason I don’t eat in bed
My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head
She says “Wifely duties
might give me cooties”
The reason I don’t eat in bed
My wife doesn’t reciprocate with head
She says “Wifely duties
Might give me cooties”
“But my balls will explode!” I pled
The Christmas elves fomented a coup
The Christmas elves fomented a coup
just as Santa stepped out of the loo
The Christmas elves fomented a coup
just as Santa stepped out of the loo
They tied him all up
The Christmas elves fomented a coup
just as Santa stepped out of the loo
They tied him all up
To his ass, they gave whup!