The Christmas elves fomented a coup
just as Santa stepped out of the loo
They tied him all up
To his ass, they gave whup!
Before the poor guy finished his pooh.
On the third day of Xmas I wept
On the third day of Xmas I wept:
Down early to my Xmas tree I crept…
On the third day of Xmas I wept:
Down early to my Xmas tree I crept…
There sat my cat
On the third day of Xmas I wept:
Down early to my Xmas tree I crept…
There sat my cat
My stocking she shat
On the third day of Xmas I wept:
Down early to my Xmas tree I crept…
There sat my cat
My stocking she shat
Then on some more shit I soon stepped
This is the time to be jolly
This is the time to be jolly
From my aunt I got an awesome dolly
This is the time to be jolly
From my aunt I got an awesome dolly
Not the kind you dress up,
This is the time to be jolly
From my aunt I got an awesome dolly
Not the kind you dress up,
The kind you undress? Yup!
This is the time to be jolly
From my aunt I got an awesome dolly
Not the kind you dress up,
The kind you undress? Yup!
And flip the switch from “suck” to “blow”? Golly!
I somehow got into Santa’s naughty list
I somehow got into Santa’s naughty list
All I expected was a slap on the wrist
I somehow got into Santa’s naughty list
All I expected was a slap on the wrist
Instead, trial by fire
I somehow got into Santa’s naughty list
All I expected was a slap on the wrist
Instead, trial by fire
While playing the lyre
I somehow got into Santa’s naughty list
All I expected was a slap on the wrist
Instead, trial by fire
While playing the lyre
Believe me, you don’t wanna see St. Nick pissed
My chestnuts are roasting right now
My chestnuts are roasting right now
Jack Frost is nipping at my brow
My chestnuts are roasting right now
Jack Frost is nipping at my brow
My Yule log is growing