My great uncle Linus was mad,
Had no inhibition, the cad.
My great uncle Linus was mad,
Had no inhibition, the cad.
Though his mind was not sound
My great uncle Linus was mad,
Had no inhibition, the cad.
Though his mind was not sound,
He’d trained his bloodhound,
My great uncle Linus was mad,
Had no inhibition, the cad.
Though his mind was not sound,
He’d trained his bloodhound,
To sniff out the girls who were bad.
An old lady who lived by the lake,
An old lady who lived by the lake
Went fishing with an axe and a rake
An old lady who lived by the lake
Went fishing with an axe and a rake
Odd tools, to be sure,
nm
An old lady who lived by the lake
Went fishing with an axe and a rake
Odd tools, to be sure,
But certain to lure,
An old lady who lived by the lake
Went fishing with an axe and a rake
Odd tools, to be sure,
But certain to lure,
A leaf-covered log she could bake.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
An excellent choice for a pet
An excellent choice for a pet
Is this walrus I won at roulette
An excellent choice for a pet
Is this walrus I won at roulette
He can jiggle his blubber
An excellent choice for a pet
Is this walrus I won at roulette
He can jiggle his blubber,
And bounce it like rubber
An excellent choice for a pet
Is this walrus I won at roulette
He can jiggle his blubber,
And bounce it like rubber
And he sings bass in the Arctic Quartet
A pelican with diabetes
A pelican with diabetes
And plagued with disease-ridden fleas.
A pelican with diabetes
And plagued with disease-ridden fleas.
On a bollard did rest,
A pelican with diabetes
And plagued with disease-ridden fleas.
On a bollard did rest,
With sprats to digest,
A pelican with diabetes
And plagued with disease-ridden fleas.
On a bollard did rest,
With sprats to digest,
While he coated the bollard with faeces.
#######
An old miner who once shovelled coal,
An old miner who once shoveled coal
Summoned Satan to barter his soul
An old miner who once shoveled coal
Summoned Satan to barter his soul
Soon he was free of the shaft,
An old miner who once shoveled coal
Summoned Satan to barter his soul
Soon he was free of the shaft,
But the old devil just laughed,