Loopy Limericks

An old miner who once shoveled coal
Summoned Satan to barter his soul
Soon he was free of the shaft,
But the old devil just laughed,
For his soul was long-lost down the hole.
One time when our Granny was bathing,

One time when our Granny was bathing,
She used a long handled brush as a plaything

One time when our Granny was bathing,
She used a long handled brush as a plaything.
But her tricks with the loofah,

One time when our Granny was bathing,
She used a long handled brush as a plaything.
But her tricks with the loofah,
Went a little bit too far,

One time when our Granny was bathing,
She used a long handled brush as a plaything.
But her tricks with the loofah,
Went a little bit too far,
And any comments I’d make would be scathing

A girl from the town of Poughkeepsie

A girl from the town of Poughkeepsie
Was frequently found to be tipsy

A girl from the town of Poughkeepsie,
Was frequently found to be tipsy.
Now, that’s ‘tipsy’, I said

A girl from the town of Poughkeepsie,
Was frequently found to be tipsy.
Now, that’s ‘tipsy’, I said
Not ‘titsy’, instead

A girl from the town of Poughkeepsie,
Was frequently found to be tipsy.
Now, that’s ‘tipsy’, I said
Not ‘titsy’, instead
So cover up flopsy and flipsy

An old man with scrotal edema

An old man with scrotal edema
Dragged his big nuts from Cuzco to Lima

An old man with scrotal edema
Dragged his big nuts from Cuzco to Lima
While looking for a cure

An old man with scrotal edema
Dragged his big nuts from Cuzco to Lima
While looking for a cure
He was bow-legged, I’m sure

An old man with scrotal edema
Dragged his big nuts from Cuzco to Lima
While looking for a cure
He was bow-legged, I’m sure
And slathered his sac with Noxzema.

He was blessed with an outstanding schlong

He was blessed with an outstanding schlong,
Impressive not 'cuz it was long

He was blessed with an outstanding schlong,
Impressive not 'cuz it was long
His cock was prehensile

He was blessed with an outstanding schlong,
Impressive not 'cuz it was long
His cock was prehensile
Could grasp a utensil

He was blessed with an outstanding schlong,
Impressive not 'cuz it was long
His cock was prehensile
Could grasp a utensil
And whip up a great egg-foo-yong.

He just stood there blowing his trumpet,

He just stood there blowing his trumpet
And said, “If this were a woman I’d hump it”

He just stood there blowing his trumpet
And said, “If this were a woman I’d hump it”
"I’d use lots of lube

He just stood there blowing his trumpet,
And said, "If this were a woman I’d hump it.
I’d use lots of lube,
And hope that the tube,