Loopy Limericks

A unicorn said to a maiden,
‘I’m afraid I’ve a horn that is fadin’
Can you give me a shot,
With those panties you’ve got,

A unicorn said to a maiden,
‘I’m afraid I’ve a horn that is fadin’.
Can you give me a shot,
With those panties you’ve got.
They look like they’ve never been played in’.
A professor who owned a pet seal,

A professor who owned a pet seal,
Was asked if the seal was the real deal.

A professor who owned a pet seal,
Was asked if the seal was the real deal.
Or should you be cryin’

A professor who owned a pet seal,
Was asked if the seal was the real deal.
Or should you be cryin’,
"It’s in fact, a sea-lion,

A professor who owned a pet seal,
Was asked if the seal was the real deal.
Or should you be cryin’,
"It’s in fact, a sea-lion,
But that should not change its appeal
A nimble young lass on a bike

A nimble young lass on a bike,
Accidentally ran into a dyke.

A nimble young lass on a bike,
Accidentally ran into a dyke.
It was the type that holds water

A nimble young lass on a bike,
Accidentally ran into a dyke.
It was the type that holds water,
Not some Dutchman’s daughter,

A nimble young lass on a bike,
Accidentally ran into a dyke.
It was the type that holds water,
Not some Dutchman’s daughter,
Anyway, she was more damp than I like.

An astronaut zooming through space

An astronaut zooming through space,
Saw a little green man keeping pace.

An astronaut zooming through space,
Saw a little green man keeping pace.
So he burned extra fuel

An astronaut zooming through space,
Saw a little green man keeping pace.
So he burned extra fuel
And just to be cruel

An astronaut zooming through space,
Saw a little green man keeping pace.
So he burned extra fuel
And just to be cruel,
Blew smoke in the leprechaun’s face.
Our spaceman then cruised near a comet,

Our spaceman then cruised near a comet
And then he proceeded to vomit.

Our spaceman then cruised near a comet
And then he proceeded to vomit.
Then went to Pluto’s moon

Our spaceman then cruised near a comet
And then he proceeded to vomit.
Then went to Pluto’s moon
And wiped his chin on a loon

Our spaceman then cruised near a comet
And then he proceeded to vomit.
Then went to Pluto’s moon
And wiped his chin on a loon
And ate the loon with space juice on it.


I was walking down the street and singing

I was walking down the street and singing,
I was wet and my stockings were clinging.

I was walking down the street and singing,
I was wet and my stockings were clinging.
But twasn’t the rain