I agree that putting everything on hold to find a job is not the right way to go. This is a woman who can’t hold down a job. If she’s got a messy house, she’s got a messy head, and won’t be able to hold down another job. The house will get worse as both of them work, and when she’s back to jobless it’ll be the same problem all over again, with no skills learned and no routine set.
Most people who have dealt with their own mental issues know that it starts with small steps, working towards a regular “healthy human” routine. It’s a long row to hoe. But as you go through that stuff you end up getting better about life in general, and THEN you can join the rest of the humans out in human world.
But yes step 1 is always deciding for yourself that you want to do it. Good luck DC.