"LOST"; How do I con thee, let me count the ways.

My theory is that, because so many episodes of “Lost” are about people conning each other, the producers are conning us with the idea that there could be a rational explaination for the hundreds of odd and seemingly unexplainable things we’ve been shown in the past three years. So when cancellation becomes imminent and the last episode airs, at the very end all the characters break the fourth wall and say “Gotcha’!”

So I thought it might be fun to have a list of all the cons we’ve been shown throughout the show’s run. I am defining “con” as anytime one character deceives another character to get a postive result for him or herself. Hence, Hurley’s tricking Sawyer into believing he was being voted off the beach would be considered a con. Juliet making Kate believe she was unwillingly handcuffed to her was a con. Cassie pretending to be a Bible salesperson was a con. Cassie pretending to spill her soup on Kate’s Mom was a con. Those are four from just the last episode.

You guys have better memories than me and I know some of you have watched the first two seasons on DVD more recently than I, so let’s make a list.

By the way, I saw “House of Games” and know what the technical definition of a “con” is, so just bear with me for the purposes of this excersise.

  1. Locke’s Dad conning him out of a kidney.

  2. Locke conning the whole gang, while secretly planning to destroy the submarine.

Submarine??? Are you freakin’ kidding me?

No wonder I stopped watching it.

  1. Locke’s Dad conning the rich wife-to-be.

  2. Sawyer conning Cassie out of her life savings.

  3. Other-hatch-guy conning Desmond into thinking that the air (or something) outside the hatch was toxic.

  4. Paulo conning Niki into thinking he didn’t recover the diamonds.

  5. Paulo conning rich guy into thinking he was a chef.

  6. Niki conning rich guy into thinking she loved him.

The original Sawyer conning Island Sawyer’s parents when he was a kid.

Ben tricking the Hatchmates by saying he was Henry the balloonist.

The undercover cop conning Locke into bringing him on to the drug farm.

Ana Lucia pretending to also be a captive when the Raftaways were caught by Eko and the Tailies.

Ethan pretending to be a midsection plane crash survivor.

Goodwin pretending to be a Tailie.

Uh, well, this is a pretty extensive list. Guess I can rest my brain.

Thanks for the link to that list. I was surprised to count only roughly 100 cons there. In three years I would have sworn there were a lot more.

  1. Continental Airlines conning Condoleeza Rice and Joseph Conrad into concluding that the ex-cons were contesting the air conditioner contraption’s condensation controls.

Also, Paul Konerko.