My cell phone went missing. I have only had it a couple of weeks.
Thought I must have left it at work. Nope. So borrowed a company cell (I have no landline at home) and went home and called my cell. Couldn’t hear it anywhere.
Not at Kevbabe’s house either. So I started carefully thinking about when and where I last had it…and became suspicious of my new room mate. So I fetched a flashlight, and went out in the back yard. Took about 1 minute to locate it half-buried, with tiny puppy teeth marks in it. Still works. How can you punish a thief that looks like this
If you’re anything like me, it’ll probably come out something like this: “Oooh, you’re such a bad widdle puppy, aren’t you? Oh, yes! You’re just a wotten widdle scoundrel, that’s what you are! What am I going to do with you?”
Yup. That’s exactly how it came out last night when the best decided to eat his Christmas stocking. “What a booger! Such a big beastie booger! Look at you, fluff mouth!! Look honey - look what Baron did? Isn’t this hysterical??? Bwahahahaha - such a big beastie doglet…I love my doglet, yes I do!”
Substitute this little booger for your dog. Substitute shoe for cell phone. And substitute ‘dragged into the basement and hidden next to the water heater’ for ‘buried in the backyard’.
He got a real good talking to, I tell ya. I had to scratch his ears and rub his belly the whole time to make my point.
This is Sirius, wearing some of my lingerie that he snagged from a drawer, shredded to his liking, and then decided to model for the other dogs. (Sorry the photo is so fuzzy. I had to grab the camera fast and then I was laughing so hard I was shaking as I took it.)
Beagles! They have a remarkably broad definition of “edible”. In general, if you have something that you’re not allowed to use during takeoff and landing on a commercial airline flight, my Beagles want to eat it. Plus the dead squirrel in the gutter, the kitty roca from the loose sand on the corner, the googly eyeball from an old halloween costume, a Barbados $5 note, an upholstery tack, my brand new prescription eyeglasses (twice! Bitches!), an (empty) dog poop bag, a metal Christmas cookie tray, a three-penny nail, my two-way pager, and yes, my cell phone.
When she was a very small puppy, my dog ate the crotch out of my bathing suit in such a way that they looked like they were made that way. It was a perfect oval, leaving the elastic around the legs, so they looked like crotchless panties. My boyfriend found this hysterical. She also ate an entire pair of my underwear, which I didn’t discover until one day when she pooped out a ripped up pair of pink panties! Surprise, mom!