I broke even selling the house and moved the family in with the in-laws. Just turned 44 and despite spending 10 solid months of searching for work (my last job was in IT management - downsized) I haven’t found a job. I’ve jumped through so many hoops and come so close but to no avail as yet.
I’m trying to stay positive but this is really killing me…Fuck’s sake…and I’m in conflict with my wife…Getting back to work is an obsession and it’s affecting my relationships. Sorry - I just had to vent!
I feel your pain. My husband has a ton of experience and countless computer certifications. He got laid off in September of last year. He’s not gotten jobs at Subway, Pizza Hut, Walmart, etc. He is most definitely not too proud. He finally found work at a restaurant cooking.
We got laid off within 3 weeks of each other (I was a poker dealer). We damned near lost our home, but sold it just in the nick of time. We had a house to fall back on though, so we are more fortunate than most.
I wish you the best of luck. I don’t suppose that a good history behind you with your wife will grant you a bit of good will?
I will tell you this, that period of our life was far more stressful than when my husband had become addicted to drugs and I had to detox him at home with a newborn, premature infant.
I know how heartbreaking it is to listen to the news and know they are talking about you. Please be strong. Look for sliding scale counseling for your marriage and yourself. I don’t think there is anything harder for a man to not be able to care for himself and his wife the way he wants to.
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You aren’t alone.
ETA: What pisses me off, is that this financial situation is making good people feel like shit. Like they had done something wrong. Like there is something lacking in them. Don’t let them fool you. We are the cogs that are breaking.
My wife and I have been together 10 years and the last couple of years have been tough - I’ve recently come close to leaving a couple of times when the stress became unbearable. I’m past that now and will work to keep us together - btw, the reason I’m posting now is because I had to file for bankruptcy 9 months ago and today it has been discharged. A job right now would be seen as a new beginning all round.
Out of curiosity, where are you located, iydm?
Ontario Canada
How did you get discharged in only nine months? If you don’t mind me asking!
310-debt - Followed their instructions to the letter - 60K
I’ve known that pain. At one point I seriously considered telling them I had spent 2 years in prison rather than the time getting a Masters. People just don’t understand how much of a bitch being overqualified is.
I hope you can remember the good reasons why you’re together. I’m watching helplessly while my sister’s marriage founders. She talks in disjointed sentences, and the only thing I can pull out of it that makes any sense is that she didn’t want them to buy their current house, and he did, and that provides the proof that he never had any faith in her, never considered her opinions to be important, and was just basically disloyal. I’m sure there are other things that are not being said, but so many of my conversations with her involve my saying, at some point, “You’re talking about a house, right? He didnt have an affair, hit you or reveal that he was mainlining crank? He wanted to move to a nicer neighborhood? Is that the actual thing we’re talking about?”
Sorry; it’s not the money, but their money problems are certainly not helping the situation, especially when they start defending their egos instead of admitting that they made a foolish decision. Heck, I beat up on myself all the time and even I forgive myself for buying the odd lot of magic beans. (I take my lead from Snoopy when he was the Head Beagle – if I make 123 decisions in one day, and only 122 of them are wrong, I’m ahead of the game.)
You guys really make me appreciate how fortunate I am to enjoy a secure job. Not bragging at all. I really wish you the best.
My wife is trying to return to full-time work, and it is SO frustrating. There are just so many qualified folk out there. What a tough economy to be job-hunting
I really hope things look up for everyone who is out of work and responsibly re-ordering their lives.