LOTR silliness

From my husband, George Sulea. I forgot to ask him if he wrote it or just found this list, but it’s pretty damn funny!

  1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait…where the hell is Harry Potter?”

  2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming,
    “YOU…SHALL…NOT… PASS!” After the movie,
    say, “Lucas could have done it better.”

  3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip
    every time someone says, “the Ring.”

  4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

  5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went
    to Hogwarts.

  6. Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with,
    “Mis…ter Ander-sonnn.”

  7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the
    top of your lungs sing, “And I did it… MY way…!”

  8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end,
    bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.

  9. Dress up as old ladies and reenact “The Battle of
    Helms Deep,” Monty Python style.

  10. When Denethor lights the fire, shout “Barbecue!”

  11. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand
    up and shout, “RUN FOREST, RUN!”

  12. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s
    what I’m Tolkien about!” See how long it takes before
    you get kicked out of the theatre.

  13. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, “Where’s

  14. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a
    single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the

  15. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

  16. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and
    wander around looking terribly confused.

17 When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for a
tense moment and shout, “I see dead people!”

  1. Imitate what you think a conversation between
    Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

  2. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater
    during the Shelob scene.

  3. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for
    governor of California.

  4. When Shelob comes on, exclaim, “Man! Charlotte’s
    really let herself go!”

  1. At the very end, right when the credits roll, say in a very innocent voice: “So, when does part four come out?”
  1. Imitate what you think a conversation between
    Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.

Gut-buster idea – now let’s see if I can get my internal soundtrack to switch off:
“Annoying that Jar-Jar is”

Wasn’t there one about pinching the neck of the person in front of you at the Shelob scene?

  1. Dress up like an ent and stand in line, not moving. WHen people tell you to move forward, tell them “don’t be hasty”.

That list had me ROFL!

  1. Sing that “Where there’s a whip … there’s a way!” song from the animated RoTK, whenever they show Orcs marching.

Evil – truly evil ideas.

But funny.

Best damn laugh I’ve had in YEARS!

No, no, no… “Mis…ter Ara-gornn”.

I did this when my daughter and I were watching Two Towers. Cracked her up.

I figured that after the film, just walking past the people waiting in line for the next show, a simple “Who knew that Gollum would be so well-hung?” would do the trick.

Be glad that I did not read this before seeing it with burundi – otherwise, you’d be reading about my death and her arrest right now. Not that any jury would’ve convicted her :).


Leave the Theatre speaking in a loud voice to those in line:

“Wow, who’da thought that Sauron would turn out to be Frodo’s father!”

You people are EVIL.

I knew there was a reason why I hung out here.

After each of the FIVE endings, do your best Porky Pig imitation…

That’s all Folks!

i love number 11.