Love and Logic Parenting: "I love you too much to argue"

[raspberry_hunter]

@steronz

Off topic, but typically when a toddler is upset, it’s extra frustrating to him when it appears that nobody can figure out why he’s upset. If they want to stay up and you tell them to go to bed, they figure that you must not actually understand that they want to stay up. Then the tantrum starts.

Thanks for this – I will have to try it out. I haven’t been doing precisely this, so hopefully it will help.

We have an additional problem, though, in that often nobody can figure out why she’s upset. She’s a little control freak right now, so she’s liable to get upset about Mommy walking in front of her, or because she forgot to step on the brick tiles on the way home as is her little ritual, or because Mommy tried to help her take her pants off when she didn’t want help. No really, these are all things that have triggered the half-hour tantrum, and in each of these cases I was willing to do what she wanted but had no idea what was bothering her until she calmed down enough to tell me.

(Weirdly, she doesn’t tend to have tantrums about going to bed or normal things like that. I mean, she refuses to do it, but she doesn’t have tantrums about it. I suppose we’ll get that in another year or so… sigh.)

[Omar_Little]

@raspberry_hunter

We have an additional problem, though, in that often nobody can figure out why she’s upset. She’s a little control freak right now, so she’s liable to get upset about Mommy walking in front of her, or because she forgot to step on the brick tiles on the way home as is her little ritual, or because Mommy tried to help her take her pants off when she didn’t want help. No really, these are all things that have triggered the half-hour tantrum, and in each of these cases I was willing to do what she wanted but had no idea what was bothering her until she calmed down enough to tell me.

These sound like OCD symptoms.

[Cheesesteak]

@Omar_Little

These sound like OCD symptoms.

Nah, at this point, it’s just control freak. At 2, they know they want things done a certain way, and can’t deal well with things not going the way they want. They also aren’t necessarily going to know that they haven’t communicated to you what they want, so they only see you doing it ALL WRONG, and they throw a fit.
Sometimes there’s just no explaining your way out of a tantrum.

No, dear, you can’t take mommy’s rings to the park, they’ll get lost.
I’ll hold them really really tight
No, they’ll still get lost, you can play with them here
I want to bring them
No
Rings Rings Rings Rings!
:rolleyes:
Rings Rings Rings Rings!
Excuse me, I need a stiff drink

[Lissla_Lissar]

It sounds like being a 2-3 year old to me. They’re all OCD.

[Hello_Again]

@Cheesesteak

Nah, at this point, it’s just control freak. At 2, they know they want things done a certain way, and can’t deal well with things not going the way they want. They also aren’t necessarily going to know that they haven’t communicated to you what they want, so they only see you doing it ALL WRONG, and they throw a fit.

Not only that, even when they can communicate clearly what they want, they don’t understand what’s possible and what isn’t. I’ve seen kiddos melt down because rocks can’t fly. BUT I WANT THEM TO!!! Or because once you eat a pancake, that pancake is gone. NO BRING IT BACK (err…).

Parents, I salute you all.

[overlyverbose]

@Hello_Again

Not only that, even when they can communicate clearly what they want, they don’t understand what’s possible and what isn’t. I’ve seen kiddos melt down because rocks can’t fly. BUT I WANT THEM TO!!! Or because once you eat a pancake, that pancake is gone. NO BRING IT BACK (err…).

Parents, I salute you all.

Yeah, my son once got pissed that we couldn’t go to Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse. Even though it’s a cartoon and doesn’t exist anywhere, even at Disney World. That didn’t matter to him because, dammit, he wanted to go there!