So I’m in New York for business and having drinks in some small wine bar in the upper east side between Park and Lexington with a colleague. There is a table of four women in their late 20’s/mid 30’s next to us. Sound like close friends having drinks after dinner or something like that. Their laughing, joking around, talking about work, boyfriends, etc. One of the ladies gets up to leave and say goodnight, when one of her friends says loudly, “Looooveee you!” The leaving girl replies, “Loooove you!” The other two women chime in with their “Love you”'s
After the first lady leaves, one of the friends at the table says, “She’s such a bitch!” and proceeds to complain about this and that. So I question the sincerity of her parting goodbye “love you”.
I witnessed a similar event a few months back in
Chicago. So is this a common term of endearment among women that has been reduced to really meaning “later bi-atch”?
Dramatic public displays of affection that lack sincerity are a thing with this generation and the one after it. Of course the lack of sincerity is not a new thing. People have always behaved in an insincere manner towards each other at various times in their lives. In that respect, there’s nothing new under the sun.
That is total junior high crap. Most women grow out of it, but unfortunately some don’t.
It happens a lot more than you might think (albeit probably only in particular social groups).
When I first moved here for law school, I was looking for new friends, and so I fell in with a group who identified with my demographic (20’s something gay guys). I went to a party and everyone seemed to be having a good time.
As the evening progressed, one of the more “social & outgoing” people said he was going to leave and the usual pleasantries were exchanged - “Love you, good to see you, let’s do this again, etc.” Within five minutes of his departure, I heard talk about how he’d gained weight, how he was a serial cheater, comments on his clothes, etc. I was slightly taken aback, but didn’t think much of it, seeing as how I didn’t know much about him.
Flash forward to another party.
When a member of the original group who was trash-talking announced he had to go, the same pleasantries were exchanged. Now this group (including the person who’d left the first party) was engaging in the same gossip and cattiness. This happened at a few subsequent events, until I realized that they were probably doing the same thing about me, whenever I left.
Shortly thereafter, I disassociated myself with those people.
Stop the thread, we have a winner.
This type of behavior is the origin of the sarcastic phrase “Love you, mean it” which was popularized as the title of comedian Whitney Cummings’ talk show. The idea of saying “love you, mean it” as a greeting implies that most of the time when “love you” is used as a greeting, it means either the opposite or nothing at all.