I had to laugh today when I went to the mail box. There were sixteen envelopes, every one of them from an attorney. Every single one of them.
Yeah they don’t chase ambulances but they sure do scour the recent inmate list at the county jail.
Another way is the kind of “lateral” addiction.
My ex is addicted to opiates - which heroin is. But he never got started on illicit street drugs. He got started on codeine/ibuprofen combination drugs that he was told to take by a doctor to control pre-arthritic symptoms related to a genetic collagen disorder. He started taking them “as needed”. Unfortunately the codeine component quickly became adapted to and “as needed” kept increasing. He also suffered from an undiagnosed depression issue at the time, so when he realised he was taking too many he tried to stop, which just ended up sending him into a profound depression to the point where suicide was considered a viable option.
So he kept taking them. And needing more. But codeine’s a restricted drug over here, so he was having to pharmacist-shop to get as many as he needed. And the ibuprofen was causing other health issues, so he tried extracting the codeine through filtering methods, but that didn’t work.
He then ended up in hospital where he was given morphine and fentanyl for pain relief. That didn’t help either.
If health issues hadn’t got in the way and brought his addiction/overuse to the fore, and resulted in his being shuttled into a methadone programme before you could say “boo”, he admitted to me that he was considering his next step was going to be going out, finding someone who sold heroin and just getting straight on the horse, because he knew the ibuprofen was killing him and it was getting too hard to maintain his shopping as he’d nearly been caught at least once, but he still needed the opioids to function.
My ex picked up the addiction from pain drugs given to him in an army hospital when he was in for a minor wound from action in SE Asia in the early seventies. After he got out, civilian doctors weren’t as free with the pain drugs as army ones were. Even in the rural area where he lived, heroin wasn’t hard to find. After a couple of years struggle, he went through rehab and kicked it for a few years. Even when using, he managed to keep a decent job and “act normal” for the most part.
Fast forward ~fifteen years of mostly normal living, relationship issues, the country’s involvement in another war and an injury at work put him back in a similar place drug use-wise. It took him another year and a half, the ending of our relationship and a temporary alienation from his kids before he went into treatment again. This time he managed to kick alcohol too.
That’s been quite a few years ago and he’s been clean and sober since, but has to really work at it.
Yes, this is a common way that heroin addiction/use begins. The addiction takes root much earlier by way of prescription painkillers (most notably Oxycontin) and when the patient/addict can no longer access or afford the prescription drugs (they are very expensive on the blackmarket) they very often go the route of heroin-which is much cheaper. This is also the way my friend became addicted.
I am new to the world of addicts. I love the most perfect man in the world for me -except he is addicted to pain meds for his arthritis. He’s had a dwi a long time ago, but in January he took Valium on top of the mix along with vodka. He disappeared in the middle of the night, stole my car and proceeded to total it. He got a dwi and I have had to clean up some of his mess. This weekend he did the same thing but in his own car, which he didn’t crash. He’s stuck in jail until he can see the first judge. I’m just at a loss. I know so many people say an addict can’t love anyone, but it just sounds like a blanket statement. He’s going to lose his kids and job now too. Not sure if I should even post bail. It sucks so much to find the love of your life and they end up doing stupid things.
I will never date another addict in my life. It’s just too painful. Not only because of the pain they cause you, but also the pain they cause themselves. I used to do coke with my ex. I figured it was a once in a while thing with him, but then I realized he was high on something everyday. Whenever he would come down, I would always have to take care of him like a mother. Although I love being nurturing to people who I care about, it seemed like I never got much in return. I also lost respect for him because he would use money from his bar business (which wasn’t all his) to buy drugs. Maybe there are some junkies who are really selfless, but I haven’t met any. It’s crazy how much different he was when he was sober. For 2 weeks he seemed like a new person. We had so much fun…but somewhere along the line, he would find some way to rationalize doing coke again. “Oh, work is just crazy. I need something to keep me going”. Or, “C’mon, it’s my best friend’s birthday”. It just became too ridiculous. Nowadays, if I meet someone with drug problems, I immediately put my guard up. Maybe I can be an acquaintance to someone like that, but I’m not letting them into intimate parts of my life. That was hell. Towards the end he became so abusive that I had to completely block him from my life. It’s sad, but sometimes you just have to take care of yourself and just hope that one day they get their own situation together.
It’s hard to believe it’s been almost two years since this happened. Mig was deported, as I’ve mentioned before. We kept in touch for a while but there’s no phone where he lives and he clearly isn’t interested in giving me his address. We haven’t heard from him since Christmas but his brother says he is still drinking too much. I guess he’ll never learn. I’ve had to rebuild my life and I’m finally, after all this time, starting to move forward ever so slightly.
Drugs did this. Yes he was here illegally but if he’d followed the law in other ways, by not making stupid choices during his drunken binges, he’d still be here. We might have even had a chance for amnesty given the way things are going with the laws these days. But he screwed it up and his sweet little eight year old daughter is the one who suffers the most.
Your story broke my heart. My husband of 17 years left me 2 years ago because he simply could not stop doing drugs and drinking. No amount of love, begging him to go to counseling, threats or anything else mattered. In the end he told me that he is who he is and he could not stand to put me through the pain of being with him anymore, and he left. After 17 years. I had just turned 40 and was with him and only him for my entire adult life.
It was awful watching what the drugs did to him- he used speed and would be up for literally an entire week in a manic frenzy only to sleep for a week after that; no food, nothing- it was terrible. He suffers pancreatitis that nearly killed him but continues to drink.
In the times that he was not using he was the absolute love of my life. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done (and didn’t do) for him. He told everyone with ears how much he loved me, even until the day he left. Now 2 years gone and finally legally divorced I cannot stand to look at him because he still loves me and I can see it in his eyes. He broke my heart like no one else ever has or ever will. The disease will kill him and robbed me of my marriage and life partner. The sadness is overwhelming at times. I am angry at the disease, angry at him and pissed at the world over it, despite being in a much better place now in my life.
I’m sorry for your loss, OP. And hell, I’m sorry for mine.
Oh I didn’t realize this was an old thread since the OP still posts here. I feel a little stupid now but the post is out there and that’s that I guess. Thanks to all who read it.
Old thread. Nevermind.
<Raises hand>
Last wife. Marriage blew up, messy divorce.
Brother. He died from it.
Wow that is an amazingly accurate description which is amazing since you are coming from the other side. Usually unless the person has dealt with addiction in their own life they can’t understand why a heroin junky can’t just stop, no matter how bad everything has gotten because of the addiction. In order for someone to get sober first of all they need to want it desperately for themselves not for anyone else, if you aren’t sick and tired of being sick and tired and aren’t 100% ready to commit to recovery and sobriety and to do the necessary things to do to stay sober then they are going to relapse. For me the AA,CA,HA programs work. All are based from the program of Alcoholics Anonymous but for addicts and the only way to stay sober and enjoy it is to go to meetings and do the steps because rehabs don’t mean shit. If that person isn’t serious about sobriety a 6 month rehab won’t have an effect it definitely won’t cure but really it isn’t what you do in rehab that’s gonna keep you sober it’s what you do when you get out.
And in reference to what kind of support an addict needs it depends, if they are being enabled and are the type of person that needs tough love that’s what you have to do but can still show them support if they are doing something for their recovery and I would recommend al-anon which is for the family members if addicts/alcoholics. And then some addicts need love and guidance and support and that extra push or help to detox and go to meetings and get a sponsor like maybe you could go to some meetings with her. But you have to find out where she stands in her addiction if she is over it or still completely in it
Ambivalid, I have been with an addict alcoholic for the past 17 years now. It has not been pretty. I have lost track of how many cars have been totaled, how many years have been spent in jails, prisons and hospitals. When I put her out she hits bottom so hard, so fast and so badly I just can’t watch it and take her back in. I won’t go into all the dirty details because I don’t much like even thinking about them.
A few months back I quit going through the closets and drawers and flushing the drugs and alcohol and told her just do it in the open. She is pretty much drunk and loaded all the time but not quite as bad as when I am trying to keep it from her. She can walk with out falling down most of the time, she can eat without spilling her food and even dial a phone now. Her periods of sobriety have gotten shorter and shorter over the years to the point where she is basicaly never sober. Last year her left lung was removed because of a large tumor which was actually food she had inhaled into her lung.
She had it very easy most of her life because of movie start good looks and a body that would stop traffic. Also she is very intelligent and engaging when sober and was able to find jobs usually on her first interview. Her good looks lasted until just a few years ago, she is 62 now and starting to show wear, I just gave up. I figure if she has some security and dignity it is better than it was.