MineFujiko Butterfly Kisses
I’ve never been able to decide whether that song is intentionally creepy and ironic (i.e. about a child abuser in denial), or whether the songwriter was just too crass to see that interpretation.
Drinking all that cheap wine might explain why he expects chairs to listen to him talk.
eno801, you’re my new hero. Now that horrid song almost makes sense.
Almost.
Back to lyrics that make me cringe, there’s an oldie I hear on the radio every now and then - I have no idea who the artist is, sorry - but the chorus goes:
It’s another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I got some money 'cause I just got paid
Oh how I wish I had some chick to talk to
I’m in an awful way (bolding mine)
Just some chick. He’s not picky. The pig.
…Fourth day, five day marathon,
We’re moving like a parallelogram,
From the song Motorhead by Motorhead.
I remember listening to this as a kid and laughing when I read the lyrics. Presumably the ‘marathon’ was a drink/drugs binge and I can imagine that by day four of a session with the notorious road crew things may have been a little blurry, but I still to this day do not know what Lemmy meant by ‘moving like a parallelogram.’
I do remember being scolded in English class for quoting this line when required to provide an example of a simile.
Marlitharn, it’s"Another Saturday Night" written by the late great Sam Cooke, and covered by every one from Cat Stevens to Jimmy Buffet to Gene Vincent to Lou Rawls to the Drifters.
I’m almost afraid to ask this, but what the hell does this mean (from Round Round by the Sugababes):
WTF? 
I rather like “Another Saturday Night”, but the versions which use “someone” instead of “some chick” are less jarring.
Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein:
La, a note to follow So.
Were they rushing to meet a deadline? That line always seemed like a cop-out.
From Another Long One by the great Shawn Colvin:
It’s gonna be another long one tonight
It’s just me and my well-intentioned spite.
I said, someone did this to me
but no one did, there’s no injustices
I can’t afford to be right no more.
Oh Shawn. I was with you 'til the NO MORE. ARGH. Thank God, on the Live album, she says any more at least once. It makes me soooooo happy.
From a song on Live’s Secret Samhadi disc (can’t be bothered to look it up)
this puke stinks like beer
Not only is puke a really unmusical word but who smells puke anyway? Stops that song dead. Then again Live has a habit of doing this. Even Lightning Crashes has that “her placenta falls to the floor” line to try to get through.
And from the opener of one of Russell Crowe’s band’s songs:
- I’m the one who saved you with my lips*
Bad high school poetry right there.
I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned the amazing one-hit wonders Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock, who proved that the lyrics of a song had no need whatsoever to relate to the chorus. Heck, just for one line to relate to the next wasn’t necessary:
I wanna rock right now
I’m Rob Base and I came to get down
I’m not internation’ly known
But I’m known to rock a microphone
Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous
Stay away from me, if you’re contagious
‘Cause I’m a winner, no not a lose-uh
To be an MC, is what I choose-uh
Ladies love me, girls adore me
I mean even the ones who never saw me
Like the way that I rhyme at a show
The reason why? Man I don’t know
so let’s go, cuz’
It takes two to make-a things go right!
It takes two to make it outta sight!
It takes two to make-a things go right!
It takes two to make it outta sight!
I saw Lewis Black (or I think that’s who it was) do a great riff on this once.
Are cartoon theme songs fair game? I know they aren’t meant to be lyrical masterpieces or anything, but even through the dewy eyes (ears?) of my youth I knew something was awry.
Exhibit A: The theme from DuckTales:
[cue musical intro]
Bomp-BAH-Bomp-BAH-Bomp-BAH-DUMP-pah-da
Life is like a hurrica-a-ane
Here… in… Duck-burg.
Race-cars, la-sers, ae-ro-pla-a-anes,
It’s… a… Duck! Blur!
Exhibit B: The theme from Heathcliff:
Heathcliff, Heathcliff, no one should
Terrify their neighborhood.
But Heathcliff just won’t be undone
playing pranks on everyone…
[more yadda in the same vein, culminating in the deathless climax]
Heathcliff, Heathcliff, no one should
Terrify their neighborhood.
But Heathcliff just won’t be undone.
You should realize he can win it with you!
It sounds like the lyricists just did not care.
I also find the Jem theme kind of cringeworthy, but the part where the Misfits cut in with their robot voices and bleat “We are the Misfits! Our songs are better! We are the Misfits, the Misfits! And we’re gonna get her!” really appeals to bitter little me.
I’m pretty sure antichrist doesn’t rhyme with anarchist. Not even in the UK. Also, how can you be anarchy? “I want to be democracy…” No.
Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart. It goes:
You cry out in your sleep - all my failings exposed
There’s a taste in my mouth, as desperation takes hold
Just that something so good just can’t function no more
I love the song–love the line in principle; it makes me tear up every time–but it sounds so clunky. What’s wrong with “Just that something so good can’t function anymore”? Or “That something so good just can’t function anymore,” for that matter. Heck, you can even keep the other “just.”
I thought the line was “Yet, that something’s so good, [it] just can’t function no more.”
Or, rather, “Yet that something so good just can’t function no more.” I don’t know where my brain went when I was typing that. Anyway, I thought the first “just” was actually a “yet.”
I’m pretty sure it’s “just.” I don’t have any official sanction on hand, but the New Order site says “just” and they should know. I also have a few covers and it’s pretty clear they say “just,” though it’s hard to tell on the original.
Creed. I don’t know which song. The lyric goes something like this. “…where the blind man sees…a place with golden streams.” Sure, it’s a swell rhyme and all, but it makes me think of golden showers which is not my idea of heaven.
Come to think of it, nearly every Creed or Limp Bizkit song I have heard has a lyric that makes me cringe
Oh, well, that’s… it’s not as redundant, then, anyway. Is it?
Don’t forget the deep inhales right before he sings “Girl.” They were having some fun with that song.
I have always wondered about Your Song by Elton John:
“So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do, you see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue”
Shouldn’t there a “for” invited to that party? Does he think that the “f-o-r” in forgetting does double duty?
I’ll vote for Train’s “Drops Of Jupiter” too. That deep-fried chicken line irks the shit out of me, always has.
I’m a huge fan of Steely Dan, but can’t handle the bridge on “King Of The World” from Countdown To Ecstasy:
“I’m reading last year’s papers
Although I don’t know why
Assassains contact rapers
Might as well die”
Not just “rapers,” but also the horrid metric shifts in that verse annoy me IMMENSELY.