I always thought that line went: “assasains, cons, and rapists.”
The “Jem” theme always pissed me off too. No matter how many times you use the word “truly”, I do not believe that she is indeed outrageous.
I have always hated the lyrics from Cheap Trick’s Surrender. They just don’t sound right in to my ears.
“…And I’m proud to be an American –
where at least I know I’m free”
If the tone of this song’s supposed to be so darned patriotic, then why the “at least”? The concessive “at least” makes it sound as though the rest of the guy’s point must be really negative (“Well we may not cook as well as the French, and it may not be as clean here as in Canada, but at least . . . .”)
Re: Drops of Jupiter
So that’s what the line is. To my ears, it sounds more like “The best foreign object you’ve ever had in me.”
Every time I hear the Eagles’ Take it Easy, I feel like saying “Hey, if you need to loosen your load, try sitting on the toilet.” 
Gee, no mention of Take the Money and Run by Steve Miller?
“Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin’ off of the people’s taxes”
Then there’s one of my favorites from Jailbreak by Thin Lizzy:
“I can see the searchlight on my trail
Tonight’s the night all systems fail
Hey you good lookin’ female
Come here!”
I actually use that as a pick up line…“Hey you, good lookin’ female. Come here.” It works like magic
I never really knew what the Beach Boys were singing in falsetto in “I Get Around,” and never really cared. But when I found out they were singing
“I’m a real cool head making real good bread,”
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or groan.
lost4life,
Speaking of Thin Lizzy’s ‘Jailbreak,’ don’t forget the stupidity of the song’s chorus:
“Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak,
Somewhere in this town…”
Well, duh. I’ll bet it happens at the damn jail!
I believe it’s “a place with gold in the streets.”
Makes only slightly more sense.
It’s actually “To a place with golden streets”.
Of course, none of them rhyme with
“to a place where blind men see”
New York, New York by Frank Sinatra:
I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps
And find I’m A-number-one , top of the list,
King of the hill, A-number-one
I mean really, was there no possible superlative left, he had to use A-number-one again?
Grammar is the gripe, I take is? I dunno. “Just can’t function no more” sounds much better to my ears. (“No more” with its open back vowels sounding so much more haunting than the front-voweled “any more.”) Plus it fits the rhythm of the song better. Plus it’s more colloquial. Plus there’s the internal “so” and “no” rhyme. It may be unconscious on the songwriter’s part, but the parallelism of “Just…so good/Just…no more” helps make the line sound “right” to my ears. “Any” ruins the feel for me, but YMMV.
I would suggest any of the number of songs during the 60s which featured dead teenagers as its theme. Dickie Lee’s “Laurie” is superlative on this account. Laurie is a girl with whom our protagonist dances in the opening of the song.
Keep in mind “angel of a girl.” This is key piece of vomit-inducing punnery which we will get to later…
So, said protagonist walks girl home. She’s cold. And “suddenly she [asks] for [his] sweater” in response to his questions “will I see you anymore?” They make it home, he kisses her goodnight, remembers he’s forgotten his sweater and runs back. Now, if I were him and wanted to see this chick again, wouldn’t this sweater make a perfect excuse to come around the house some other day? Anyhow.
Father answers door. Boy asks for girl. Father says, kid, you’re nuts, she’s been dead for a year!! A year ago today, no less. Oh my. What pathos.
And the kicker
I always thought the Heart song “All I Wanna do is Make Love to You” had the worst poetry in it. The metaphor for making love referred to as: “We walked in the garden, we planted a tree…”
I also cringe everytime I hear “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” I understand that they are trying to emulate the expression “There but for the grace of God go I,” but the phrase “Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” always bugged the heck out of me. It just seems mean. Unless it is sarcastic (and the way Bono shrieks out that line it could be) and they are trying to shock you, it just doesn’t seem right in the song.
There won’t be snow in Africa this year. Does it ever snow in Ethiopia? And how many of them are Christians anyway?
"The Ethiopian Orthodox Church was founded by the monks Frumentius and Aedissius in the early fourth century, during the reign of King Ezana of Axum (Aksum), who converted to Christianity along with many of his people. "
The problem with this lyric isn’t the “at least”, it’s the “where”. “An American” is not a place. Actually the whole song sucks. Damn it, I think I’ll write a patriotic song; they shouldn’t all be done by semiliterate rednecks.
Hotel California–“warm smell of colitas rising up through the air…”
Ew.
Cutting Crew’s “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” has bugged me since I was eight, in fact it’s shitting me just thinking about it now.
The added line of “We’re Rough!” to the chorus of Hangin’ Tough by New Kids On The Block had me slapping at my ears to get the sound away.
Anything by Beck. Anything at all by Beck. Neat beat, but you’re not making any sense whatsoever.
I’ll second “Horse with no name” This part drives me nuts:
On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds
and rocks and THINGS
There was sand and hills and rings.
Ok, first off, if you’re looking at all the life, then skip the rocks, sand, and hills. These are not alive.
Second, there were rocks and THINGS? Well no sh*t. How observant of you.
And what rings? Diamond rings? Around the collar rings? Circus rings?
“Some folk’ll never eat a skunk but
then again some folk’ll, like Cletus the slack jawed yokel” 
My peeves always seem to be grammatical ones.
“You know that I would be a liar
if I was to say to you”
Or
“I must be sure
from the very start
that you
would love me more
than her”
Gaaah!
For actual lyrics, Santana’s “Game of Love” makes me want to hurt myself. I don’t even know exactly what she’s saying and it still bugs me.
“A little bit of this
a little bit of that
it started with a kiss
now we’re up to that/up to bat”
Wha?
I mean, I’ll tolerate the lame up to bat possibility, if only because it doesn’t involve rhyming “that” with “that.”
Then there’s the utterly repulsive “are you strong enough to be my man” crap from Sheryl Crow (and her convenient lifting of Violent Femmes and Steve Miller Band songs, but that’s another thread).
Julie