Paula Cole makes my brain bleed when she sings:
Open up your morning light
And say a little prayer for I
And how about
She had two babies
One was six months, one was three
Wow, had them kinda close together there, didn’t she? (Yes, I know it’s supposed to be three YEARS–still sounds wrong.)
My favourite part is:
It’s just so shoehorned in there - like they thought “Hey, wait, we should mention some stuff about Africa. Shit, what’s in Africa. Kilimanjaro?”
I also enjoy:
Hmmm, deep.
Also the incredible lameness of describing a mountain by comparing it to… a mountain.
One of my favorite WTF lyrics comes from “Sweet Child of Mine” by Guns and Roses:
Hmm . . . Quiet thunderstorms?
And then there’s Cyndi Lauper’s application for entry to the Tautology Club (From “All Through The Night”):
Uh . . . yep, can’t argue with you there . . .
I remember some dopey Christian rock tune (aren’t they all?) that climaxed with the singer complaining about his problem and then:
“God helped me through them all”
Which had me thinking, you needed God’s help through the mall? Weren’t there any of those “You are here” maps?
It’s worse than you think, the line is “I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind.” Ew.
Hey, I never said “very meaningful”, I just said that it fit well with Sheila specifically singing to/about Berger who was being a jerk.
But I totally agree the context of the film version is way better and more heartbreaking.
But back to the OP… the other song lyrics that drive me nuts are most of the lyrics from “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time… — No, shit. Really?
Sure when you start climbing the mountains you’ll get subarctic weather near the peaks, but I don’t think people generally expect a whole lot of the cold, white fluffy stuff, even in December.
So, to you “cock” is a homonym for “cork”? Or is it that you hear “walk” as a homonym for “wok”?
For me, “caulk” is a lot closer to being a rhyme for “walk” than “cock” is, but “cork” (like “talk”) is a true rhyme, or near as dammit.* (Perhaps he’s a vintner. ;))
*I will grant that “walk” does have a very faint hint of that “l” sound, but nowhere near as strong as in “caulk”.
Bowie’s Space Oddity:
“Tell my wife I love her very much.”
“She knows.”
The first line is clearly spoken by Major Tom (itself rather a cringeworthily childish name), the second appears to be Ground Control’s reply.
At this point I always want to interject, “Oh, well then, don’t bother to tell her if she already knows.”
I still love the song though.
Walk = homonym for wok, talk = homonym for tok (as in tic-tok), caulk = homonym for cock. They all rhyme.
Walk and cork don’t rhyme at all, to me, unless you’re reallllllly stretching it. (Los Angeles, CA, USA)
Especially after a quick image search reveals it’s being sung by Beaker.
This may not be exactly what the OP was looking for, but one song that always grated on me lyrically was Spandau Ballet’s “True”. Leaving aside such gems as “With a thrill in my heart and a pill on my tongue” (which might conceivably have seemed clever if it hadn’t been delivered in such a pompous, dramatic way), what bugged me most was the fact that the central line of the song was “I know this much is true”… and then he never says what he knows to be true.
When it came out, that song was almost singlehandedly responsible for me losing interest in current music. (That’s something of an overstatement, of course, but it seemed to be emblematic of everything that I thought was wrong with the course that popular music took in the early 80’s. Apologies to lovers of Spandau Ballet, the New Romantic movement, 80s synth-pop, etc.)
The funniest thing I ever read was an interview with Steve Miller in Rolling Stone.
He proceeded to make fun of Pete Townshend’s lyrics. This from the man who
wrote “Abra-abra-cadabra ,I’m gonna reach out and grab ya”. And who can forget “the pompitous of love”?
From that moment, Steve Miller became dead to me.
Oh, you didn’t even mention Steve’s worst offense:
“Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is.
He ain’t gonna let those two escape justice.
He makes his livin’ off the people’s taxes.”
Really, Steve? Really? 
You’re so vain,
You probably think this song is about you
To which I always go “yeah, well, he’s right, the song is about him, how is it vain to think a song that’s about you is about you?”
THIS IS THE WORST OFFENDER OF THE “SAME WORD RHYME” EXAMPLE. I can not stress that enough. It is a terrible lyric especially since the second line fundamentally repeats the meaning expressed in the first line (smoking funny things is trying different things) Ah. How could this pass inspection! Ah!
I think this a great song. Sad and kind of ridiculous. That’s why it works so well. So the song isn’t about an actual cake, it’s a metaphor. If it WAS about a cake that would be even better because everyone can identify with getting attached to inanimate objects. Although the third movement is rather annoying.
My choice is Rod Stewart’s Tonight’s the Night —
'Cmon Angel my heart’s on fire
Don’t deny your man’s desire
You’d be a fool to stop this tide
Spread your wings and let me come inside 'cause
Tonight’s the night (gonna be alright)
…that…is…gross.
Spread your wings?
How artistic. I’m not prude; if you’re going to be over the top gross be gross, if you’re going to be sexually subtle be subtle. If you’re thinking “spread your wings and let me come inside” is romantic or reassuring to a virgin you’re dead wrong. AND he implies she is fool if she won’t have sex with him. Wow.
I love your screen name. It makes me laugh because it reminds me of Krebbs in the Hitler parody videos 
I always want to say, “My Fuhrer”
Rage Against The Machines song, “Killing In The Name” because they say the F* word how many times in the song? I lost track? Well in the uncut version? It always makes me laugh that at Guantanamo Bay they played it non stop to break down prisoners. If RATM didn’t work they water boarded them . BTW-Neither is considered torture according to the gov.
The other is the creepy girl in “The Prodigy” video Omen. The song rocks but the girl scares the bejezus out of me when ever she pops up. I have to play the vid w/o her in it.
From the same song:
Don’t say a word my virgin child
Just let your inhibitions run wild
Someone get the man a dictionary.
Magic by The Cars
“… high shoes with the cleats a clickin’…”
What kind of funky footwear is that woman sporting?