Doesn’t everyone remember some of these? Probably, parents say them so much because they had these sayings drilled into * them * during their own childhood.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Hold your horses!”
“Don’t let your mother know I told you this story.”
“Because I said so!”
“Do you think that maybe you can [naming some chore]?”
“…or not!”
“I’m not talking about * that!” * (Changing the subject on you, to keep you off balance.)
“If you want to keep your job as little boy around this house…”
After the fashion of Craig Shoemaker (“Comeon Baby, walk nasty for the LoveMaster!”), my Mom used to say, “How would you like a spanking?”
“Gee Mom, I’d rather go to the movies if you don’t mind.”
She slapped me so hard that she actually broke some of my facial veins…I looked like I’d been hit by a truck.
I got back by answering those “What the hell happened to you?” questions honestly: “My Mom hit me.”
–Kalél
(The Original EnigmaOne)
Common ¢ for all ages.
“Comeon Baby, walk nasty for the LoveMaster!”
Watch it! That’s MY line!
“Were you born in a barn?”
Don’t ask me, I don’t remember a thing about it.
“Stop crying, or I’ll really give you something to cry about!”
Huh?
Go get the belt. (wonderful memory of my sister bringing back a tie)
Wait till your father gets home. (the big chill)
Is that right? (thick scorn and sarcasm from my father…the bastard)
“Honey? It’s time to get up.”
Brrrrrrr…
My father used to say (to my sisters) “As long as you live in this house…” He never said it to me, though, possibly because he knew what my reaction to THAT comment would be.
“How many times do I have to tell you…” as if she was looking for a real number.
Maddening thing my mother did NOT say, but my grandmother did:
“There are starving children in China…”
My mom tells me that she once…ONCE…told my grandmother to send her food to those starving kids. My mom says she remembers nothing after that…
My favorites,
“Intelligent children are never bored, they can always find something to do.” followed an hour later by “What do you think you are doing?” (Don’t answer truthfully, it will cause mom to ask “Why?” and “I was bored.” is not a valid answer. Cringe in an attempt to convey shame and say “I don’t know.”)
“Go look it up.” followed two minutes later by “How many times have I told you not to climb on the bookcase?” (Again, do not answer; cringe.)
possibly the world’s only naive cynic
To Pooch: That sounds like Bill Cosby’s bit about some kid’s dad saying “Go get me something to beat you with!” He added, “If my old man ever said that to me I’d tear the corner off a piece of paper…” 
Its not so much what my parents said, but how they said it. My family has a strong Southern Ohio accent. Sort of twangy and southern, and the words “dish” and “fish” are pronounced “deesh” and “feesh.”
I’ve worked hard to rid myself of that accent, but it’s hard when I still live in the region. After a long phone conversation, or a visit, my husband says my accent comes back full force.
My favorite was when we were on vacation (seven of us crammed into the station wagon) and we kids would start fighting (yeah, 20 hours in a car will get you going EVERY time) and my dad would bellow:
If you don’t stop it right now I’m going to turn around and go home!
I always thought he meant he’d drop us off out in the middle of no where and go home by himself! I always wanted him to since he was the grumpy guy!
Thankfully, I’ve forgotten most of the direct quotes. But this strikes me as funny: when I was a teenager, my parents bitched because they couldn’t understand the lyrics of my music…today’s parents bitch because they CAN understand them.
“Well, we don’t have that much money, so you’re gonna have to go to college here and live at home.”
OhForTheLoveOfGodNOOOOOO!
–
JMcC from SFCA
http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html
How many of you have children of your own, that you have said these same things to them?
I have found that it’s pretty easy to be a critic of my parents at 18, and a little harder at 43.
18 year old daughter graduated HS this spring, moved into her own apartment 1 week later. Comes by once in a while with a new tatoo to show us.
If anybody else out there knows how it feels, let me know.
"why can’t you apply yourself (to schoolwork)? Ummm, there’s not a big enough brush?
When bored as a child a, I would confront my mother with this simple fact to which she would invariably reply “well go for a walk then”…strangely, it never seemed a exciting option than complaining
“No man will marry you if you don’t learn to cook.” (no, marry a man that can cook.)
“I’ve learned something in my X number of years on this earth.”
“One day when you grow up you will understand and worry like I do.” (No, I won’t and I am not.)
" Just wait until you grow up…ah ha ha!"
“You’re not that sick. You can go to school.”
And the perennial favorite at the Ujest family home: " You ought to consider yourself lucky to be Catholic, not everyone is so lucky." ( Oh, I’m feelin’ real lucky…)
My mom used to say, “You bet your bippy.” I’ve always wondered what my bippy was, and why in the world my mom wanted me to bet it.